imconfident

I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

Do what is right

DO WHAT IS RIGHT

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February is the month of love

1380773_10201538680441563_629583717_nWhen February comes, people tend to think about love which can be a happy occasion if you have that ‘special someone” in your life.  Valentine’s Day will be here soon and people are starting to buy cards, gifts and make plans for that special evening.  Of course, if you don’t have a ‘special someone’, this can be a difficult month for you.   I remember my younger years when I didn’t have anyone to share my heart with.   Of course my dad was always really sweet, making sure we all got our special treat on Valentine’s Day.  Then once I was married, I thought everything would be different.  Now I had my real Valentine.   On that special day, my gift was all ready and I wondered what I would receive.  I didn’t realize that every man was not like my day, and I received nothing.  My husband simply had never celebrated Valentine’s Day growing up in his country and this was a custom that he never did follow to this day.   It used to hurt me at first but over the years I began to realize that I placed way too much importance on something so small.  I was surrounded by family that loved me and chocolates would never take their place.

If you have a loved one that doesn’t seem to care about Valentine’s Day, remember that it is just another day.  Don’t let the media make you feel like you are missing out on something.  Getting ‘stuff’ does not show love.  Actions show love.  Why not ask your loved one if they would like to do something special, like going out for dinner or just watching a movie together.  This is so much better than being miserable and you will save money.  You don’t really need that box of chocolates or bunch of flowers.  If you want them that bad, go out and buy some and then share it with your loved one.  There is nothing wrong with pampering yourself, you deserve it!

If you don’t have a loved one this Valentine’s Day, don’t be discouraged or feel depressed.   Why not ask some friends to go out somewhere and celebrate the evening.   You probably know people that are also feeling unloved and need someone to show them that they are important.  Don’t stay home alone and be miserable.  If you are totally alone, make some popcorn and watch a funny movie.  There is nothing wrong with enjoying your own company.  Then get out there and join a group or something and make some friends so you will have someone to spend time with when the next Valentine’s Day rolls around.  Take action and be your own cupid!

Here are some quotes about love…………….

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. ~Author unknown

You know you’re in love when you don’t want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.  ~Dr. Seuss

You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving.  ~Author Unknown

We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.  ~Tom Robbins

Love is not a matter of what happens in life.  It’s a matter of what’s happening in your heart.  ~Ken Keyes

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. ~Lao Tzu

You really shouldn’t say “I love you” unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget. ~Author unknown, attributed to an 8-year-old named Jessica

Love is what makes two people sit in the middle of a bench when there is plenty of room at both ends.  ~Author Unknown

Love is when you can be your true self with someone, and you only want to be your true self because of them. ~Terri Guillemets

It is not necessary to be strong in every place if in the place you are vulnerable, you are loved.  ~Robert Brault

True love is when you put someone on a pedestal, and they fall – but you are there to catch them.  ~Author Unknown

 

 

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Throw out your negative thoughts

sadNegative thinking is the cause of most of our problems.  When we look at life with a negative perspective and dwell on our problems we will struggle.   Our negative thoughts will turn into negative words and actions and this will bring negative results.

When negative thoughts come into our head, we have to consciously throw them out and replace them with positive thoughts.  Not possible?  Of course it is.  With effort and patience, you can change your thinking.  There are numerous documented cases of people and I personally know people who have done this, including myself.holding stop sign

How can you throw out your negative thoughts?  First you need to consciously be aware of what you are thinking, then stop yourself and replace the thought with something positive.

If a fly flew in your face, what would you do?  You wouldn’t just let it sit there, you would shoo it away.  If a car drove by you in a rainstorm and splashed mud on your pants, what would you do?  You wouldn’t just let it stay there and look dirty, you would wipe it off.  If you tried on an outfit in a clothing store and it didn’t fit, what would you do?  You wouldn’t just leave it on and buy it, you would take it off and try on something else.

So why would you allow negative thoughts to remain in your mind?   You need to take action and get rid of them.  You can’t have a positive life with a negative mind, so work at throwing out those negative thoughts.

Take care and start doing some positive thinking.  It really changes your life and you can actually be happy most of the time!  Happy thinking!smiling hugging tree

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Are your problems heavy?

How heavy are your problems?  Do they burden you down and make you feel exhausted?  We think about our problems over and over again until we feel the pressure and pain of stress.   Most of us don’t even realize that we are carrying such a heavy weight around with us.

man with burden

I heard a story about a lecturer who was talking to a group about stress management.  He asked them how much a glass of water would weigh.  Of course it only weighs a few ounces.  But  if you held that glass of water for a period of time what would happen?

  • if you held the glass for a few minutes, nothing would happen
  • if you held the glass for an hour, your hand and arm would start to hurt
  • if you held the glass for 24 hours, you would probably have a lot of pain, your hand and arm would become numb or paralyzed and you might have to go to the hospital

So why would you have so much pain when the glass didn’t weigh very much?    This is because the longer you hold on to something, the heavier it becomes.  The same goes for our problems.  If we hold onto them for a long period of time, they will cause unavoidable pain and stress.  If you think about your problems all day, day after day, they will end up paralyzing you and you won’t be able to do anything.

How can we avoid having pain and stress?   If you are holding a glass, the answer is simple.  Just let go of the glass and put it down.  If you are holding onto your problems, the answer is simple but harder to do.   Just let go of your problems and put down your burden.  Don’t keep carrying your problems around.  Try to resolve them if you can.  It will take some time and effort but if you are persistent and patient, the results will be positive.

hands outstretched with hears

Give your stress wings and let it fly away. ~Terri Guillemets

Let go and let God.  ~Unknown

Inner peace can be reached only when we practice  forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of the past,  and is therefore the means for correcting our misperceptions.  ~Gerald Jampolsky

There’s an important difference between giving up and letting go.   ~Jessica Hatchigan

Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.  ~Ann Landers

Think about any attachments that are depleting your emotional reserves. Consider letting them go.  ~Oprah Winfrey

Ask yourself this question:  Will this matter a year from now?  ~Richard Carlson Ph.D

Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.  ~Herman Hesse
 
Let go. Why do you cling to pain? There is nothing you can do about the wrongs of yesterday. It is not yours to judge. Why hold on to the very thing which keeps you from hope and love?  ~Leo Buscaglia

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Be patient…

POSTER L41 the best is yet to come

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Today is a brand new day

Don’t you just love waking up in the morning and realizing that today is a brand new day?  No?  Well, you aren’t alone.  Many people don’t like mornings.  I used to be one of those people who woke up dreading the day and feeling just terrible.                                 

The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.  ~Jean Kerr, Please Don’t Eat the Daisies, 1957

yawning

Nothing good was going to happen, so what was the point in even getting up?  It was a constant fight with myself to get out of bed and get ready for work.  “I don’t want to get up.”  “I don’t feel good.” “I don’t want to talk to anyone.”  There were all sorts of arguments that I tried on myself.  Of course, I had to work, so I dragged myself out of bed.

I’d like mornings better if they started later.  ~Author Unknown

sleeping with teddy bear

Now, I love waking up in the morning knowing that today is a brand new day and that everything is new and fresh.    I hear the sounds of the traffic, the birds singing, a dog barking and I am thankful that I can hear.  I see the sun shining, the raindrops falling or the snowflakes drifting to the ground and I am thankful that I can see.  I can smell the coffee perking and the bacon cooking and I am thankful that I can smell.   When I get out of bed, I am thankful that I have legs to walk on.  When I hug my family, I’m thankful that I have arms to use.  There are so many things to be thankful for, I wonder why I ever hated getting up in the morning.

The moment when you first wake up in the morning is the most wonderful of the twenty-four hours.  No matter how weary or dreary you may feel, you possess the certainty that, during the day that lies before you, absolutely anything may happen.  And the fact that it practically always doesn’t, matters not a jot.  The possibility is always there.  ~Monica Baldwin

happy face with bird

How did I change from being a miserable morning person to someone who enjoys the mornings?  It is all about perspective.  If you are like many people who have a negative perspective, as soon as you get up in the morning, you will focus on all the negatives in your life and be miserable.  If you work hard on developing a positive perspective, you will be able to see the positives in life and start your day on a positive note.

Be pleasant until ten o’clock in the morning and the rest of the day will take care of itself.  ~Elbert Hubbard

singing with note

Here are some ideas on how to change your perspective:

  • practice saying daily positive affirmations
  • consciously stop your negative thoughts
  • change your negative words into positive words
  • create positive habits
  • surround yourself with positive people, places and things
  • fill your emotional tank with positive fuel
  • think about all the things you can be thankful for

For more information and ideas, visit my website at www.imconfident.com

You can also download my Caterpillar to Butterfly Self-Esteem Workbook by visiting my website and clicking on the Bookstore tab.

 

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Your family is a treasure

POSTER P33 YOUR FAMILY IS A TREASURE

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What are you thankful for?

In our busy lives, we don’t always stop to think about what we should be thankful for, especially if we are having difficulties in our lives.  However, there is always something that we can be thankful for if we look hard enough.    Many people are so focused on their problems that they don’t see the good things in life and they miss out on some great experiences.  I began to realize this in my own life and now I try to start every day thinking about what I have to be thankful for.  This is a great way to focus on being positive about life.  I wrote a list of things that I’m thankful for and I hope it gets your mind working.

  1. God’s love
  2. my family
  3. a hug
  4. eating pizza
  5. watching a good movie
  6. taking a walk
  7. reading a good book
  8. calling a friend
  9. a child’s laughter
  10. running water
  11. a gentle rain
  12. a rainbow
  13. getting a card
  14. looking at pictures
  15. nice clothes
  16. giving a gift
  17. getting a gift
  18. reaching a goal
  19. a friendly smile
  20. watching a sunrise or sunset
  21. feeling loved by someone
  22. good health
  23. the warmth of the sun
  24. a home

So now I ask you…..what are YOU thankful for?  little girl thinking

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Are you getting enough emotional nutrition?

Everyone needs proper nutrition so they will be healthy.  We need to eat a balanced diet that includes a variety of proper foods from each level of the food pyramid.

But are you getting enough proper emotional nutrition so you can have a sound mind, body and soul?  Emotional nutrition is the amount of emotions that you are internalizing.  If these emotions are positive emotions, they will be filling you up with positive energy.  If these emotions are negative emotions, they will be filling you up with negative energy.

You can fill yourself up with positive emotions by:

  • surrounding yourself with people who uplift and encourage you
  • being in places that help you stay focused on being positive
  • doing things that energize you
  • reading inspirational books
  • saying positive affirmations
  • doing acts of kindnessclip shadow people dancing

Try to avoid anything that fills you up with negative emotions.   In order to have a proper emotional diet, you need to have a larger number of positive emotions filling up your life.   This isn’t easy, but if you keep working at it, it is very possible.  If I can do it, you can do it!

 

 

 

 

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You are the light

people carrying light bulbWe live in a world full of darkness.   Everywhere you look, we are surrounded by forces that damage and destroy our very existence.   We are pulled to do things that we know are wrong and we often compromise to keep peace in our lives.

When we live in darkness we can’t navigate through life properly.  We get lost, confused and become insecure and full of fears.

Darkness is just the absence of light.  If we want to see where we are going, we need to stay in the light.

It can be very difficult to be a bright light when the world around us is dark, but if we do what is right and keep our own light burning brightly, it will reflect on others and help their light shine.

Together we can create a world of light and beauty.  Be a source of light in this dark world and inspire those around you!

 

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