What does that label say?

Do you ever read the labels on the products you buy?  Manufacturers are so afraid of being sued that they are putting the stupidest information on their labels.   Here are some that I found amusing.   Enjoy!

• On a package of nuts:  “May contain nuts.”
• On a hair dryer:  “Do not use in the shower.”
• On a package of matches:  “Warning.  Contents may be flammable.”
• On a package of roasted chickpeas:  “Ingredients – chickpeas.  Allergy warning – contains chickpeas.”
• On deodorant (roll-on):  “Do not spray in eyes.”
• On a pizza box:  “Caution.  Contents hot.
• On a cardboard sunshield for front car window:  “Do not drive with sunshield in place.”
• On a toner cartridge for a printer:  “Do not eat toner.”
• On a wheelbarrow wheel:   “Not intended for highway use.”
• On a set of knives:  “Warning.  Knives are sharp.”
• On a box of rat poison:  “Warning.  Contents found to cause cancer in mice.”
• On a stroller:  “Warning.  Remove child before folding.”
• On an iron:  “Do not iron clothes on body.”
• On Christmas lights:  “For indoor or outdoor use only.”
• On the bottom of a dessert box:  “Do not turn upside down.”
• On a bottle of sleeping pills:  “Warning.  May cause drowsiness.”
• On a 6 inch by 10 inch inflatable picture frame:  “Do not use as a personal flotation device.”
• On a package of airline peanuts:  “Open packet.  Eat contents.”
• On a bottle of child’s cough medicine:  “Do not drive or operate machinery after taking this medicine.”

The farmers almanac

The Farmers Almanac is a North American publication that has been around since 1818.  It is famous for its long-range weather predictions as well as interesting trivia, humour and advice on various topics.  Here is one of my favourite predictions……

Except for the turkey

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone today.   Enjoy spending time with your family and friends.   Remember to give thanks for all the wonderful people and things in your life.

I came across this cute video.  Just a bit of Thanksgiving silliness.  Hope you enjoy!

http://youtu.be/sAIbwodgoU8

Pet Smiles

These pet pics are so cute so I decided to share. Enjoy!

Men experiencing childbirth?!

Men have no idea about how painful childbirth can be.   We can tell them and they can see what is going on, but this still doesn’t have much of an impact.  Now, through modern science, they can actually simulate the feeling of labour pains so men can experience how it feels.   I just watched this video and I think this would be a great learning experience for all men.  It would certainly help them understand better.

http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=0F2JEMNU

Miscommunication causes confusion

It is so important that we communicate properly with the people around us or we will have misunderstandings and confusion.  When you communicate with anyone, whether it is verbal or written, make sure you are very clear about what you mean.  Sometimes we think other people know what we are talking about and they really don’t have a clue.

Men and women communicate very differently.  When women talk they are also listening carefully to what has been said.  When men talk, they do not listen very well and will miss a lot of details.    In general, women have much better listening skills than men.  Always be specific, make sure you state all the details and ask for feedback (is there anything you don’t understand?).   When the details are very important ask for them to be repeated.

I heard a funny story today and I wanted to share it with you.  It shows how misunderstanding and confusion can happen if you don’t communication your message properly to another person.  The story is about a husband and wife and a shopping trip that went wrong.  Enjoy and learn.

 A lady needed some things to make a cake and she decided to send her husband to the store to buy them.  Her husband was on his way to a sports event, but he agreed to go on 1 condition – there were only a few items and he could go through the express checkout.  That way he would still be on time for the game.

The husband left and the wife expected him to return soon.  However, time passed by and he wasn’t home, so she began to worry.  She looked up the number of the grocery store and was about to call, but she heard him coming in the driveway.  He came into the house with 3 bags, put them down on the kitchen floor and told her he would be back in with the rest of the bags.

The wife wondered what he was talking about and she started unpacking the bags.  In the first one there was a pound of butter, 2 bags of icing sugar and 3 bottles of vanilla.  In the second bag there were 4 dozen eggs.  In the third bag was 5 packages of lard and her grocery list.  She looked at the list and suddenly realized what had happened.

When her husband asked her to make sure he could go through the express checkout, she had numbered the items 1 through 7, something she had never done before……

           1 pound of butter

           2 bag of icing sugar 

           3 bottle of vanilla 

           4 dozen eggs 

           5 lard

           6 big bag of flour

           7 large carton of milk

She quickly put the list away before her husband came in with the rest of the bags and decided not to say anything at all about the numbers.   Instead she planned on thanking him for being such a great husband.

He brought in several more bags that contained 6 large bags of flour and 7 large cartons of milk.  Then he looked at his wife and said, “I obviously didn’t go through the express checkout because there was too much stuff.  However, when the cashier was ringing up the last item, I realized what I had done and I just wanted to get out of the store because the people in line behind me were laughing.”

 

Valentine fun

Have you ever heard about Lover’s Island?  It is a tiny heart-shaped island in the Adriatic Sea formerly known as Galesnjak .  Since is was discovered on Google Earth, this 130,000 square yard island the owner of this deserted island has been swamped with requests to stay there.  If you are interested in spending Valentine’s Day on this heart-shaped desert island, make sure you take some camping supplies and food with you.  Another thing, it’s pretty cool this time of year, so pack some warm clothing.

HOW TO FIX A MARRIAGE

A couple were having marital problems. They decided together to do the right thing and they contacted a marriage guidance counsellor.

Several visits followed when lots of questions were asked and lots of  listening carried out. Eventually the counsellor felt that he had discovered the main problem. He stood up, went over to the women and asking her to stand up he gave her a huge cuddle.

He turned to the  husband man and said, ‘This is what your wife needs, at least once every day.’   The husband frowned, considered what had been said for a moment, then replied, ‘Ok, what time do you want me to bring her back  tomorrow?’

CHECK OUT THE MARKINGS ON THESE ANIMALS.

Lessons we can learn from a dog

We may be more intelligent than dogs, but they can certainly teach us a lot about life.  Dogs are very loyal and they understand the meaning of unconditional love.  Here are some lessons that we could learn from a dog:

1. Love – It doesn’t matter what happens, always show love.
2. Joy – Fill each day with joy and don’t be in a bad mood.
3. Enthusiasm – Get excited about life.
4. Exercise – Walk, run, jump.
5. Support – Always help each other.
6. Loyalty – Be there for your family and friends.
7. Rest – Get enough sleep, take naps.
8. Relax – Sit down and take a break.
9. Be yourself – Don’t compare yourself to others, be happy with who you are.
10. Don’t give up – Keep trying until you succeed

If you don’t think a dog loves you unconditionally, think about this.  If you locked your dog and your wife/husband in the bathroom for an hour, which one would be glad to see you?  (Just think about the answer, don’t actually try it.  The result could be disastrous).

I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love.  For me they are the role model for being alive.  ~Gilda Radner

One reason a dog can be such a comfort when you’re feeling blue is that he doesn’t try to find out why.  ~Unknown

Properly trained, a man can be dog’s best friend.  ~Corey Ford

If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.  ~Phil Pastoret

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.  ~Andy Rooney

Dogs have given us their absolute all.  We are the center of their universe.  We are the focus of their love and faith and trust.  They serve us in return for scraps.  It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made.  ~Roger Caras

Silly stuff

Here’s some silly stuff to ponder.  Got any answers?

• Why doesn’t McDonald’s sell hotdogs?
• At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?
• Why do doctors leave the room when you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.
• If you dug a hole through the center of the earth, and jumped in, would you stay at the center because of gravity?
• How far east can you go before you’re heading west?
• Why is it that everyone driving faster than you is considered an idiot and everyone driving slower than you is a moron?
• If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
• Is it rude for a deaf person to talk (sign) with their mouth full of food?
• What’s the difference between normal ketchup and fancy ketchup?
• Why is the Lone Ranger called ‘Lone’ if he always has his Indian friend Tonto with him?
• When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?
• Are eyebrows considered facial hair?
• Is there a time limit on fortune cookie predictions?
• Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
• Do they have the word “dictionary” in the dictionary?
• Can you daydream at night?
• Can crop circles be square?
• If a doctor suddenly had a heart attack while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?
• If laughter is the best medicine, who’s the idiot who said they ‘died laughing’?
• Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don’t lay eggs.
• If parents say, “Never take candy from strangers” then why do we celebrate Halloween?
• Why is it called a funny bone, when if you hit it, it’s not funny at all?
• Do you yawn in your sleep?
• If a bee is allergic to pollen would it get the hives?
• Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
• If you put a chameleon in a room full of mirrors, what color would it turn?
• Why do we press the start button to turn off the computer?
• Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?
• Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?
• Do butterflies remember life as a caterpillar?
• What is another word for “thesaurus”?

Communication Counts

Good communication is really important in a relationship.   When people don’t communicate properly, misunderstandings happen and problems result.  Following is a story that clearly shows the important of effective communication.

A man and his wife had been arguing all night, and as bedtime approached neither was speaking to the other. It was not unusual for the pair to continue this war of silence for two or three days, however, on this occasion the man was concerned; he needed to be awake at 4:30am the next morning to catch an important flight, and being a very heavy sleeper he normally relied on his wife to wake him. Cleverly, so he thought, while his wife was in the bathroom, he wrote on a piece of paper: ‘Please wake me at 4:30am – I have an important flight to catch’. He put the note on his wife’s pillow, then turned over and went to sleep.

The man awoke the next morning and looked at the clock. It was 8:00am. Enraged that he’d missed his flight, he was about to go in search of his errant wife to give her a piece of his mind, when he spotted a hand-written note on his bedside cabinet.  The note said: ‘It’s 4:30am – get up.’

Yes – communication counts!  How do you communicate with others?