imconfident

I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

A new beginning

We are almost at the beginning of a New Year.  Are you ready for a new beginning?

Think back over the past year.  What has happened to shape your life?  What memories were made?  Were they  happy or sad, rewarding or disappointing, powerful or pitiful?

We will always remember the really good times and the really bad times because they make a huge impact on us.  The problem is, when we focus on the bad times more than the good times, we are going to feel bad and not live our lives to the fullest.  We will hold ourselves back from trying something new or enjoying an event because we fear failure and want to protect ourselves from getting hurt.

Try hard to focus on the good things that have happened and treasure them in your heart.  See the bad things from a positive perspective and treat them as learning experiences.  What can you change in your life and how can you face these problems with confidence the next time they happen?  How can you treat people in a different way and not allow them to hurt you?

Each year we have an opportunity for a new beginning.  Start thinking about the changes you can make that will improve your relationships and your outlook on life.

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How to have a perfect Christmas

book and candlesIf you want to have the best possible Christmas this year, try the following:

  • spend lots of time with your family and friends (and not lots of money on worthless presents)
  • give thanks for what you have (and don’t be unhappy for things you don’t have)
  • show love and kindness to everyone you know (even those people you don’t particularly like)
  • forgive people who have hurt you (and forgive yourself for hurting others)
  • think the best of everyone (not the worst)

Most importantly, remember what Christmas is all about.  We are celebrating the birth of Jesus and praising God for His wonderful gift to the world.   May you all experience peace and joy in this Christmas celebration.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas!

 

 

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Relax…Breathe…Take it easy…Slow down

People are such a rush these days!  Christmas should be a time when people can enjoy the season and anticipate being together with family and friends.  Unfortunately, many people don’t have time to enjoy Christmas because they are rushing to buy gifts and get all those last minute errands run.   I could never understand why so many people wait until the last minute to get things done.  I start early in December so I don’t get caught in all those crazy crowds.

Just this morning, I was driving down the street and had to stop for a red light.  I looked to the left to see if any cars were coming so I could make a right turn.  This probably took my eyes away from the traffic light for about 3 seconds and I heard a beep from the car behind me.   The light had just turned green and she was obviously very impatient for me to start moving.  Wow, she had wasted 3 whole seconds!  I felt so bad that I made her wait for so long!  (Not really)

People need to slow down and stop rushing through life.  Where is everyone rushing to anyway?  Is anything that important that we can’t wait for a minute or two and take a deep breath.  We are all programmed to want things immediately.  We don’t want to wait for anything.  We want it NOW!!

The reality is, everything is not an emergency!  Trying to rush through life just stresses us out and we miss out on a lot of important things.  We miss what is happening around us, those special moments with our families, especially our children.  We miss the beauty in nature.  We miss all those little, important things that happen when we are too busy to stop and look.

Take time this Christmas season and just relax…breathe…take it easy…slow down.  Enjoy the blessings of the season.

 

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Who do you think you are?

Do you know who you are?  Many of us go through life trying to live up to someone else’s expectations.   We put on masks and build walls, pretending that we are somebody else.  We don’t want people to see us as we really are because we are afraid they won’t like us or respect us.

As a child, we are taught how to behave in different situations.  We are told how to dress, how to act, how to talk.  We are told what we should do and shouldn’t do.  This helps us learn but if we aren’t encouraged to be an individual and supported in our uniqueness, we can forget who we really are.  We have to develop our own personality and not live our lives according to the expectations of someone else.

Our parents can expect us to follow a certain path in life but this may not be what we want to do.  Our friends can expect that we engage in certain behaviours that we know will cause harm.  Our teachers or co-workers can expect us to accomplish things that we are not capable of doing.   The media can try to convince us to do things that we are not comfortable with.  If we start believing that our worth is found in doing what other people expect, we can soon lose our unique identity.

We need to let go of who we think we should be and start becoming who we really are.  Stop living up to other people’s expectations and live up to your own expectations.  What do you expect of yourself?  What do you want to accomplish in life?  What do you want other people to remember you for?

Think about what makes you a valuable person.  What are your abilities?  What are your positive characteristics?  What are you good at doing?  How do you interact with other people?  We are all unique and special in our own way.  Use what you have learned and work on becoming the best person you can be.

So, who do you think you are?  Let go of what you are not and hold on to what you really are!  Be authentic!  Be honest! Be real!

 

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The countdown to Christmas…..

Cmas mouse and candy caneChristmas is almost here.  Are you ready? Are the decorations all in place? Are the presents all bought and under the tree? Are the guest preparations all done?

We can get so busy at Christmas that we forget to take time and think about what this season really means.  There is nothing wrong with decorating, buying gifts and enjoying ourselves but Christmas is not just about decorating our homes, unwrapping colourful gifts, eating scrumptious meals and having big parties.  Sometimes we get so carried away that we end up stressed out and deep in debt, having spent money on things we don’t really need and often don’t even want.

Instead of rushing around trying to beat the countdown to Christmas, stop and reflect on the reason for the season.  Christmas is about love and sharing, a celebration of Jesus’ birth.  We should be spending our time with families and friends instead of spending our money on expensive gifts and wasting time shopping.   Do yourself a favour this Christmas and invest your time instead of your money.  The payback is so much bigger and more rewarding!

Show more love to your family and friends.

Forgive all the past hurts and mistakes.

Tear down any walls and repair any broken bridges.

End off this year with some wonderful memories that will warm your heart for months to come.  Merry Christmas!

 

 

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Give a smile away

Whenever I go to one of the local malls, I always see people sitting alone in the common areas.  Most of these people are seniors who probably don’t have a lot of contact with family and friends.  They come to the mall to sit and watch people so they can at least feel like they aren’t alone.  But does this really help?  Does it make them feel less alone?  I’ve often been in a crowd and still felt very much alone, so just being around people doesn’t fill in that empty space inside.

I feel bad for the people I see sitting alone in the mall but I give them credit for getting out of their house or apartment.  Just the fact that they are getting their bodies moving, breathing some fresh air and socializing at a distance does help them in a small way.  Many people who are lonely just stay inside and rarely venture out except for a doctor’s appointment or to quickly pick up a few groceries.

This is a great opportunity to give a smile away.  When you see someone sitting alone and looking forlorn, make a point of getting their attention and giving them the biggest smile you can manage.  I try to say hello and maybe mention something positive about the day or even compliment them on what they are wearing (if suitable).  If you have a few minutes, maybe you could even sit down beside someone for a quick rest and try starting a light conversation.

Whether you give away a smile, a few kind words or a short conversation, it can make a difference in someone’s life.  You may be the only one who has taken the time to acknowledge them in a long time and it could positively impact them.

Don’t pass up the opportunity to give away a smile.  It costs you nothing but it can have huge rewards!

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What is growing in your garden?

Most people know that if you want a garden to look beautiful, it requires a lot of care.  You have to plant good seeds in fertile soil and water them regularly.  Once the plants, flowers, shrubs, bushes and trees start growing, you have to provide them with continuous care, pulling any weeds out and pruning back any overgrown branches.  It takes work and you can’t neglect caring for the garden or it will soon become overgrown with weeds and lose its beauty.  Then it will slowly wither and die.

People are like gardens.  If we have had good seeds planted in our lives and have been cared for regularly, we will flourish and grow.  As a child, our parents and other people around us start planting seeds that will either make our garden of life beautiful or unattractive.  Positive seeds of love, encouragement and support will help us create a beautiful character that will help us achieve success in our lives.  Negative seeds of neglect, abuse and despair will help us create an unattractive character that will hold us back from reaching our goals or even having any.

What is growing in your garden?  Have positive or negative seeds been planted?  Are YOU planting positive or negative seeds?

It doesn’t matter what has been planted in your garden up to this point.  If positive seeds have been planted, that is awesome!  Keep growing!  However, if negative seeds have been planted, don’t despair.  YOU can start planting positive seeds in your own life and the lives of others.  How?

  • determine where those negative seeds came from so you are aware of why you think and act the way you do
  • start changing the way you talk to yourself – stop that negative thinking and replace it with positive thinking
  • say positive affirmations to yourself every day and learn to appreciate yourself
  • write down a list of your strengths, abilities and skills
  • increase the time you spend with positive people and decrease the time you spend with negative people
  • always look for the good in people and situations instead of the bad

Work hard to create a more positive perspective on life and build your confidence so you can find the happiness and success you are looking for.  Visit my website at http://www.imconfident.com for more information.

 

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Do you feel like a failure?

Do you avoid doing things because you don’t know how it will work out?

Do you hesitate in making changes because you are afraid things might get worse?

Do you avoid situations because you are afraid you will say or do something wrong?

Many of us avoid doing anything that might result in failure.  We are so afraid that we might do something wrong, that we miss out on some great opportunities.  None of us likes to fail but failure is part of being a human.

Everyone makes mistakes.  We are not alone in our failures.  All successful people have failed during their lives but they just use failure as a learning tool to achieving their success.  They keep trying and working through their mistakes until they find a solution that works.

What we have to do is learn how to fail successfully.  Nobody else can succeed for us, so it is important that when we do fail, we just pick ourselves up and try again.  Don’t blame others for your mistakes, don’t make excuses and don’t give up.

Failure isn’t a problem unless you dwell on your failures and stay stuck.  Learn from them and try hard not to make the same mistake again.  We can learn a lesson from everything we do in life.

Failure is just a stepping stone to success.

Step 1 – Analyze your failure.  Why did this happen?  What did I do or say that didn’t work?

Step 2 – Determine what you could do differently the next time this situation comes up.

Step 3 – Write down a plan of action and start moving ahead.

Step 4 – Don’t focus on what happened, focus on what you are going to do.

Step 5 – If you can’t seem to come up with an answer that works, talk to someone you trust and allow them to help you.

Step 6 – Write down your successes, big and small and go over them regularly to remind yourself that you CAN succeed.

 

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