imconfident

I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

Don’t let your past weigh you down

Past regrets are a heavy burden.  They can weigh you down and destroy any chance of having a happy, fruitful life.  Don’t allow the past to hold you back and keep you from moving forward in life.  Forgive people for hurting you, loving them is far more important than holding grudges about something that is over and done with.  And stop worrying about the future; most of the things we worry about never happen anyway.  Regret and worry just rob us of the joy and peace that we could be experiencing today.  When things are difficult, love harder, encourage others and be supportive.

This is the day which the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.  Psalm 118:24

Leave a comment »

A new year’s challenge to all women

It is a brand new year and time to think about change.  How is your life going?  Do you wish some things could be different?  Change requires action, so if you don’t make some definite plans and put them in action, nothing will change.  I’m not talking about New Year’s Resolutions, which are just nice ideas that start well and end quickly.  I am talking about real change and making your life better.

Life is hard and there is no way to change that fact.  But many of us are searching for perfection and we make our lives way more difficult than they need to be.  Woman especially care too much about what other people think and we believe the lie that happiness is found in other people and things.  We shouldn’t be searching for happiness at all because happiness is short-lived and relies totally on outside sources which will never be what we want them to be.

Growing up, we are very influenced by the world, watching and listening to our parents and other significant adults, believing what they tell us and copying their actions.  Some of us are fortunate to have good role models but most of us grow up feeling somewhat unloved, unwanted and unimportant.  How does that prepare us to face the challenges of the world?  Then add the powerful impact of the media on our lives, and the lie is confirmed that we are not good enough and nobody cares about us unless of course we surround ourselves with possessions.

I want to challenge all women to face any lies from their past and understand that it does not define them.  If people have said or done anything in our past that has hurt us, we need to realize that they are speaking and acting from their own pain or their lack of knowledge.  It is so easy to hurt the people we love because our expectations are unrealistic or way too high.  Nobody will ever be the person we want them to be and we will never be the person they want us to be.

The only person that can make us happy is ourselves.  How?  We need to:

  • look at ourselves through the eyes of God instead of the eyes of the world and see ourselves as a beautiful creation, loved and deeply wanted.
  • reject any lies that we have heard (not good enough, not smart enough, failure, nobody loves you).  None of these are true.
  • replace any lies with the truth that we are lovable, worthy and valuable.
  • forgive our family, our friends and any other significant people in our lives for hurting us with their words or actions.
  • forgive ourselves for believing lies about ourselves.
  • work hard to mend any broken relationships.
  • start sharing our love and helping others.

I challenge you to start the New Year by unpacking any baggage that is holding you back from experiencing a wonderful life.  What baggage are you carrying around that is causing pain?  Do you have unresolved anger, bitterness, jealousy or hatred?  It is easy to hold onto negative feelings, but it takes character to release those feeling and forgive.  Unpack those feelings, resolve them and forgive so you can start living a life of joy and peace.

Any problem, big or small, within a family, always seems to start with bad communication. Someone isn’t listening.   Emma Thompson

It’s time for us to turn to each other, not on each other.   Jesse Jackson

Everyone makes mistakes and needs forgiveness.  Holding on to pain just hurts us.  If we are able to forgive others, we will also be forgiven and the pain will be released.  Unknown

 

 

Leave a comment »

Countdown to Christmas! Do you have all your gifts ready?

Christmas is only 2 days away.  Do you have all your gifts ready?  I don’t mean those shiny, expensive things wrapped and sitting under the tree.  I mean all the important things like:

  • the gift of love for your family and friends
  • the gift of forgiveness for everyone you know, NOT just those who are nice to you
  • the gift of sharing everything you have with others
  • the gift of compassion for those who are in a dark, unhappy place
  • the gift of time to spend with others, creating awesome new memories
  • the gift of serving by doing something helpful for someone else
  • the gift of conversation and taking time to sit and listen

These gifts don’t put a dent in your finances but they are worth far more than anything money can buy.  Life can be full of happiness when you show love to others through your actions.  Spread joy around this year by searching inside for those wonderful gifts you already have and share them with your loved ones.

Leave a comment »

You can be alone AND happy on Valentine’s Day!

We all need love and the purpose of Valentine’s Day is to share our love with each other.  Unfortunately, some people are alone at this time of year, either by choice or circumstance.  They may be dealing with a failed relationship, the loss of family members or a move to a new location.  Whatever the reason, some people find themselves without someone who can give them love or receive love and this can result in feelings of loneliness, unhappiness, unworthiness and even failure.

Society certainly doesn’t make it easy for anyone to enjoy the day without feeling that something is missing.   Big red hearts and advertising are everywhere.  But you don’t have to feel lonely and sad on Valentine’s Day.  You can celebrate the day by looking at things with a different perspective.  Here are some ideas:

  • First, realize that this is just another day.  It is nice to be reminded about love because we don’t always take time in our everyday busy lives to even think about it, but we shouldn’t just focus on one day to show our love for others.  Take this day to think about the people in your life who could use some love – family, friends, co-workers, neighbours – and consider how you can show some kindness to them.  Actually sit down and make a list of things you could do throughout the year to make their lives better.
  • Call someone you haven’t talked to for a while.  Is there a family member that you haven’t communicated with recently.  What about an estranged friend?  If you live close by, invite them to meet you for coffee.  Maybe they are as lonely as you are.
  • Celebrate the day on your own and enjoy your own company.  You really don’t have to be a couple on Valentine’s Day!  This is just something that we are led to believe that isn’t true.  There is nothing wrong with being alone sometimes.  People who are super-busy with family and work would love to trade places with you for a few days and have some peace and quiet.   Read a good book or watch a movie.  Do something you like!  Or take a nice walk and enjoy the beautiful scenery.
  • Buy yourself a Valentine gift.  Yes, you can indulge yourself in a box of chocolates or candies.  Just don’t go overboard and spend too much money or overeat those sweets.  Get some colourful flowers to brighten your kitchen table.  There is nothing wrong with being good to yourself.   We are all special and we should be nice to ourselves as well as others.

Keep in mind that many people who buy gifts for their loved ones are just doing it because it is expected and not because they are showing their love.  Soon after Valentine’s Day is over, the love is gone and they have gone back to their old habits of being inconsiderate and unkind.  Showing love for just one day is so unimportant, showing love everyday is what is important.

YOU can be alone and happy on Valentine’s Day.  It is all a matter of perspective.  Don’t be upset if you are alone for this one day of the year.  There are 364 more days coming where you can work on building some great relationships.  YOU can be the Valentine in someone’s life every day of the year.  Be the person who is able to love and accept themselves for who they are and pass that love on to other people.

So what are you doing on Valentine’s Day?

Leave a comment »

What does love mean to you?

February is the month when we are reminded to love each other.  We see Valentine cards, candy, flowers and all sorts of advertising that penetrate your thoughts with ideas of love.  Even if we are angry or upset with our loved ones, we often overlook these things for a short period of time to bring them gifts or give them a much-needed hug.

So why do we need something to remind us that we should be showing love to others?  We should be walking in love every day of the year, not just Valentine’s day.

Love is powerful and it has a positive effect on ourselves and others.  Love is the glue that can hold families and friendships together.  Love allows us to help other people and this creates a feeling of happiness for everyone.

Let’s start our love walk today!  Let’s start showing kindness to everyone we meet.  Let’s start a kindness ripple in the world.  Are you walking in love?  Are you putting the needs of others before your own?

Love is patient, love is kind………….

Leave a comment »

Feeling loved and accepted


Many people in this world don’t feel loved or accepted.  They believe lies they have heard throughout their lives as being the truth and cannot see themselves in a proper light.

How many children have been told, “You can’t do this.  You’re ugly.  You’re bad.”  How many wives or husbands have been told, “You don’t do anything right.  You’re too fat.  You don’t make me happy.”  How many students or employees have been told,  You’re not smart enough.  You’re too slow.  You’ll never amount to anything.”  There are so many things that could have been said to us that make us feel unloved, unwanted and unworthy.  What lies have you been told?  Just fill in the blank.  You’re…………………….

We have all felt unworthy of someone’s love because of words that have been spoken to us.  It might have been a parent, a family member, a friend, a co-worker or even a complete stranger.  If we have enough confidence in ourselves and good esteem, we will be able to let these unkind words just roll off our backs.  Sadly, many of us don’t have enough confidence to realize that these things are not true and we will live our lives believing we are lacking in something.

It is so important that we show people that we love and accept them, even when they make mistakes.  None of us is perfect and we don’t want other people to put us down when we do something wrong.  Parents are the first ones who need to show a child how valuable they are so they can grow into confident, loving adults.  It isn’t easy being a parent in this stressful world but we need to take time to love our children and spent time with them.  Love and encourage your children.  Be a positive example to them by caring about the people around you.  Pray for them and be there when they need you.   Their future depends on what happens in their life today.

Leave a comment »

What is the best gift under your tree?

the-best-of-all-gifts

Leave a comment »

A key point about love

If you want someone to love you more, you should start loving them more.   It can be hard to step out of your comfort zone but don’t just wait for the other person to show their love or you will likely be disappointed.  Be the strong one and show others that you care.  Show love to your husband.  Show love to your wife.  Show love to your kids.  Show love to everyone around you.  If you are a vessel of love, it will start to make other people feel good and they will likely return your love.  Love is powerful.  Use it as a tool to create closer relationships.

Leave a comment »

How to have a perfect Christmas

book and candlesIf you want to have the best possible Christmas this year, try the following:

  • spend lots of time with your family and friends (and not lots of money on worthless presents)
  • give thanks for what you have (and don’t be unhappy for things you don’t have)
  • show love and kindness to everyone you know (even those people you don’t particularly like)
  • forgive people who have hurt you (and forgive yourself for hurting others)
  • think the best of everyone (not the worst)

Most importantly, remember what Christmas is all about.  We are celebrating the birth of Jesus and praising God for His wonderful gift to the world.   May you all experience peace and joy in this Christmas celebration.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas!

 

 

Leave a comment »

Looking for the right mate?

Have you found the right mate?  You know, the one who treats you the way you expect.  The one who brings home flowers and always remembers your birthday.  The one who showers you with attention and compliments you often.

Well, this kind of mate is hard to find.  When we are dating, we often put our best food forward and treat other people with kindness and respect.  We want them to see our good points and usually work very hard to impress them.  Then we get married and expect life to be great with this wonderful person that we have fallen in love with.

As the months and years go by, things change.   Work, kids, household chores, finances and other things start getting in the middle of our relationship and we stop treating each other the way we used to.  The love that drew us together is lost in the busyness of life.  Communication breaks down and when we do have a conversation, it ends up in an argument. Other things take priority and we start to wonder what we ever saw in this person.   We decide that the marriage is just not working out and start thinking about separation or divorce.  We even start looking around for ‘the right mate’.

Before a relationship even gets to this point, we should pay attention to the warning signs that something is wrong and try to determine what changes need to be made.  Instead of giving up and blaming your spouse for not living up to your expectations, look at how BOTH of you are acting.

  • What is your spouse doing that is different?
  • What are you doing that is different?
  • What are your expectations of each other?
  • Do you blame your spouse for all your problems or do you take responsibility for your own actions?
  • Are you working TOGETHER to make the marriage work or are you working independently looking for things that only make you happy?

Many problems in marriages are the result of unrealistic expectations.  We determine what we want the other person to do and when they don’t meet these expectations, we feel unloved and unappreciated.    Our selfish nature takes control and tells us that we don’t deserve to be treated this way.

If you want success in a marriage, it doesn’t necessarily come from finding the perfect mate.   You can look for your entire life and you will never find a perfect person.   We don’t have to find the right mate, we have to work hard to be the right mate.  If you leave your mate looking for someone who is better, you are wasting your time because there will be something wrong with everyone you meet.   We all have imperfections and flaws and when we love someone, we can learn to accept them.    We are all different and this is what makes life interesting and exciting.

If your spouse is abusive, then you should consider the situation carefully and make the appropriate choices.  However, if you are not communicating or spending a lot of time fighting or avoiding each other, then try to work on your problems TOGETHER.  You already know what you are dealing with and if you give up and find someone else, you’ll just have a new set of problems to deal with.

Marriage isn’t easy but many people give up way to easily on a relationship that could have worked out if both parties had just tried to meet each others needs instead of trying to find their own happiness.

So instead of looking for the right mate, ask yourself – Am I the right mate?

Leave a comment »