imconfident

I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

How do you treat other people?

We all want people to be nice to us and treat us with respect.  Unfortunately there are a lot of people who don’t even know how to treat other people with respect because they haven’t been treated very well themselves.  Kindness can be contagious so maybe we could start the ball rolling.  If we started being nice to other people and treating them with respect and kindness, it might affect them in a positive way.  Of course, it won’t happen instantly but in time, our good example might just help teach them how to be nice.

So how do you treat other people?  When someone is hurtful and mean, do you respond in the same way or do you respond with kindness.  Being negative in a negative situation will never have a positive outcome!  Let’s start showing people what it looks like to have a good attitude and be a kind, loving person:)  What have you got to lose?  Maybe some negativity?

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How to help your teen build esteem

We should never measure ourselves against other people because we are all unique individuals.  We can’t possibly be the same as somebody else and we are not supposed to be.  Many of the people we are comparing ourselves to, are often very insecure about themselves.

Teens need to develop confidence and increase their self-esteem so they will be able to stand up to negative peer pressures and make good choices in life.  As parents, we can help our own children and any teens we are connected to.  Here are some ways that we can help them build esteem:

  1. Show love – Take very opportunity to show how much you love your children.  No, they don’t just know!!! You have to tell them and show them.  A child who feels loved at home won’t go looking for love in all the wrong places.
  2. Be encouraging – Life will always have problems and teens are very sensitive when they fail or do something wrong.  They need to be encouraged to keep going and know that you will support them.
  3. Have an open mind – Teens need to know that you that you are listening to them and that you are not going to judge everything they say.   You may not always agree with what they are saying, but they aren’t you and they will think differently.  Be honest and open.  Teens will talk to whoever with listen, so make sure that person is you.
  4. Be a positive role model – Teens always watch the people around them to see how they speak and act, so we need to make sure we are presenting a positive example for them to follow.  Be the person you want your teen to be.
  5. Choose your words carefully – Your words have the power to impact your teen in a positive or negative way.  Once your words are spoken, they can’t be taken back, so be very careful you don’t say something that is damaging.  Say things that remind them of their great abilities and strengths.
  6. Spend time with them – Teens do like to spend time with their parents as it makes them feel valued.  Plan some special times as a family and also one-on-one, to build a closer relationship.  Make sure you aren’t spending time criticizing them or they will prefer to spend time with someone else.

The teen years are very difficult and your teen really needs your love and support.  Be there for them and help them navigate through all the challenges they face.  You will face obstacles and often feel like nothing is working, but if you keep the lines of communication open and keep trying to maintain a good relationship, your teen will feel your support and know how much you care.

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Is there a black cloud hanging over you?

Always feel like something bad is going to happen?  Nothing seems to go right?  Everyone else has a better life?  You always get the short end of the stick?

If a black cloud seems to be hanging over you all the time, it is probably because you have developed a habit of negative thinking and you are continually looking at life with a negative perspective.   Your distorted perception will stop you from finding any happiness or success in your life.

The only way to brighten up your life and get rid of that black cloud is to become aware of what you are thinking and then try to develop a new habit of positive thinking.  Don’t just let your thoughts wander around without paying attention to them.  When you catch yourself thinking a negative thought:

  • stop for a few seconds and take a deep breath
  • try to visualize something that makes you happy or peaceful
  • replace your negative thought with a positive thought
  • say a positive affirmation
  • say ‘I can’ instead of ‘I can’t’

You can stop that black cloud from hanging over you.   Always be aware of what you are thinking and work hard to replace those negative thoughts with positive thoughts.   Start today and you’ll soon see some positive changes in your life!  It worked for me and it can work for you:)

 

 

 

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We all carry a dangerous weapon

Did you realize that you carry a dangerous weapon with you every day?  Yes, we all do.  It is just something small but it can do a lot of damage.  It is more dangerous than guns or knives and we have access to it 24/7.

Have you figured out what I’m referring to?  Our tongue!  When we speak, we can impact people in a positive or negative way.  Our words can hurt people or help people.  Our words can damage or repair a relationship.  Our words can build up or tear down.

We should always choose our words carefully so we aren’t causing pain to someone else.  We should also be careful that we aren’t hurting ourselves with any negative self-talk.  Words are so powerful and once they are spoken, they can’t be reversed.

What are you loading your weapon with?  We certainly don’t want to be facing someone who is loaded with anger, bitterness or hatred.  Make sure you are loading your weapon with love and kill people with kindness!

 

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Do you expect other people to carry your load?

We all have baggage.  Nobody has gone through life without picking up some problems and many people carry these with them throughout life.   Then when we form a relationship, we combine our baggage and the problems grow.

Many times we expect other people to carry our load.  If we have been treated badly in the past, we carry these hurts with us and we unload our pain on the people around us.   We expect them to solve our problems and bring us happiness and when they can’t follow through, we blame them for our problems.

It is unfair when we try to burden other people with our past hurts.  We have to take responsibility for our own actions and try to deal with these problems so they don’t affect our relationships.  Instead of expecting other people to carry our load, we should be trying to lighten theirs by being upbeat and positive about life.   We are responsible for our own happiness and we can become the bright light in someone else’s life.

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Our biggest problem is right under our nose

Have you ever stopped to consider the power that you have in your tongue?  Just one small part of your body speaks volumes about the type of person you are.   When you open your mouth to speak, you can reveal a lot about your character.   Your words can show love or hatred, calmness or anger,  encouragement or criticism, modesty or boastfulness.  Your words can tell the truth or they can lie.  Your words can help or they can hurt.  It all depends on what kind of mindset you have.

If your thoughts are mostly positive, they will produce positive words, positive actions and positive results.  However, if your thoughts are mostly negative, they will produce negative words, negative actions and negative results.

What is going on in your mind?  Are positive or negative thoughts floating around?  If they are negative, it is time to start thinking about what you are thinking.  Be aware of your thoughts, stop yourself before anything comes out of your mouth, and try to change anything that is negative into something that is positive.   At first it may be hard, but the more you practice, the easier it gets.  Just taking a few seconds to breathe and think can stop you from saying hurtful, damaging words or doing something that you might regret.

Our biggest problem is right under our nose.  The tongue is so powerful and we need to learn how to control it.

 

 

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More is NOT always better!

Society tries to make us believe that having more of everything is a good thing.  If we have more money, more possessions and more power then we will have a better life.   If we have more friends, more intimate relationships, eat more and fill our lives with more activity, we will find happiness.  Really?

What is the result of having MORE of everything?  It leads to more depression, more sickness, more loneliness, more stress, more debt, more broken marriages and families, more unwanted pregnancies, more sexual diseases, more addictions and more teens having serious problems that carry on into their adult years.

Money, possessions and power can’t bring us happiness and it can’t mend all the brokenness in the world.  What we need is MORE love, MORE compassion, MORE kindness.  These are things that money can’t buy yet they have a much higher value.

More CAN be better if we put our priorities in the right place and stop listening to the voice of the world telling us how we should live.  We don’t have to follow the crowd and go in the wrong direction.  We need to learn how to listen to our own inner voice and always do what we know is right.   It isn’t easy being a person of integrity in this fallen world, but we can start being a positive example to other people.

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We don’t need a new diet, we need a new lifestyle

People are always looking for a new diet, a faster and better way to lose weight.   They listen to promises that they will look better and feel better in just a few days or weeks.  But if these promises were true, how come so many people are continually on diets?   The sad fact is, about 90% of people who diet will gain the weight back and sometimes will gain back more.

We don’t need a new diet, we need a new lifestyle.  Dieting doesn’t work in most cases.  People want their weight to drop quickly and will try almost anything that promises a quick fix.  They don’t think realistically.   The math is simple – you can’t lose 100 pounds in a few weeks when it took years to put on.

Don’t listen to all the crazy promises that you hear.  Companies will tell you anything just to make a buck.  The only way you can lose weight and keep it off, is to eat healthy foods and exercise daily.   Drink water, eat fruits and vegetables and consume smaller portions.  Cut out junk foods and only have a small ‘treat’ once in a while just to keep you motivated.

Your health depends on what you eat and how you take care of your body.   You only get one body for life, so treat yourself with care.  You deserve it!

 

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Attitudes can be contagious

Have you ever noticed that when you are around someone who is miserable, that you seem to feel miserable too?  Or when you are around someone who is angry that it makes you feel angry too?  Well, it works the same way when you are around someone who is cheerful and happy.  It makes you want to be cheerful and happy too.

Attitudes can be contagious.  Most people are influenced greatly by the attitude of the people around them.  If you walk into a room where everyone is crying, you will certainly not start laughing.  Yet when you walk into a room full of laughter, it makes you feel light and happy.   Having a positive attitude is much better than having a negative attitude.  When you are around negative people, you feel uncomfortable and probably wish you could leave.  But when you are around positive people, you feel wonderful and enjoy spending time with them.

What kind of attitude do you have?

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What do you focus on?

What do you spend most of your time focusing on?  If you spend your time focusing on good stuff, you will probably feel good.  However, if you spend your time focusing on bad stuff, you will probably feel bad.  It’s pretty simple:  what you focus on becomes the your reality.

We all have problems in our lives.  There is no possible way that we can stop bad things from happening to us.  We can’t control what other people do to us and we can’t change what happens in the world.  But we DON’T have to drag our problems with us everywhere we go.   We CAN stop focusing on past problems and start focusing on how to make positive changes in our lives and work towards a solution.  Many of our problems can be resolved by just changing our perspective.

In any situation we can focus on the negative side or the positive side.   We can focus on a glass that is half empty or a glass that is half full.  We can focus on the muddy footprints that were left on the kitchen floor or the smiling child as they ran past.  We can focus on our poor test results or on working hard to do better next time.  We can focus on losing weight or eating healthy.

The next time you face a problem, don’t think about all the bad things that are going to happen.  Instead try to think about a realistic solution and keep a positive perspective.

  • focus on the positives, not the negatives
  • focus on your strengths, not your weakness
  • focus on the good in something, not the bad
  • focus on the things you are thankful for
  • focus on doing things that you enjoy doing
  • focus on realistic expectations instead of unrealistic ones
  • focus on a solution instead of the problem

So, what are you focusing on?

 

 

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