Do your molehills become mountains?

Do you have a bad habit of making a big deal about nothing?  Do you turn minor issues into major issues?  Do you exaggerate some things way out of proportion?  If you do, you are making molehills into mountains.  Moles are small furry creatures that tunnel under the earth and the dirt from these holes are named mole hills because they are deposited in piles on the top of the ground.  Making these tiny hills into mountains would be a huge task and this is often what we do with our problems.  We make something small into something big and it takes a lot of energy.

Life is difficult and there are always problems to deal with.  Some of these are big and some are small.  What we have to do is determine which ones need to be addressed and which ones need to be dismissed.  If we aren’t able to do this, we end up wasting a large part of our lives dealing with unnecessary problems.  When we encounter difficult situations in life, we need to stop and not react immediately as this can often result in doing or saying something we will soon regret.  Then we should ask ourselves a few important questions:

• How much does this issue really matter?
• Will it matter tomorrow, next week, next year?
• How will my reaction impact the people involved?
• Should I just ignore it or do I need to address it?
• How should I address the problem?

Making a big issue out of something that is not really a big deal, can easily result in communication breakdowns and hurt other people, even ourselves.  It can even cause a small problem to become a big problem. A mole hill does not have to become a mountain.  Learning to stop and think before reacting can help us live a happier and less stressful life.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

 

Are you competing with people or against people?

The world is always pressuring us to compete against others and that winning is the most important thing.  How does this affect us?  Does it make us better or does it make us feel like failures?  Competition is a good thing, it allows us to measure ourselves with others and see where we need to improve.  The problem is we are competing against people and not with people.   Society is obsessed with winning and leads us to believe that if we lose, we are failures and have no value.

The fact is we can’t all win; someone has to lose but this does not make us a loser or a failure.  Competing with others should be a time to enjoy being with others who have the same interests, share ideas and celebrate with the person who does win.  Competition can be a good learning tool that will help us measure how we are doing and let us become a better version of ourselves.

Social media especially makes us feel bad because it always points out the people who are the most beautiful, the most successful, the most powerful;  the people who have it all and have everything we want.  Sadly most of these people are also the most miserable because money and power does not make people happy and it really doesn’t really measure success.  In my opinion, success is achieved when you feel that you have done everything in your power to be the best person you can be and you are satisfied with your life.

When someone wins a game and the rest lose, everyone loses.  However, when someone wins and everyone supports each other, everyone wins.  Instead of competing against others, try competing with them to achieve your goals.  Be a positive influence and show others the importance of working together to become stronger and smarter.

Winning doesn’t always mean being first.  Winning means you’re doing better than you’ve ever done before.  Bonnie Blair

A winner is someone who recognizes his God-given talents, works his tail off to develop them into skills, and uses these skills to accomplish his goals.  Larry Bird

Competing at the highest level is not about winning.  It’s about preparation, courage, understanding and nurturing your people and heart.  Winning is the result.  Joe Torre

Turn your New Year’s Resolutions into Goals

What is a resolution?  The dictionary describes it with various terms:  a firm decision, solving a problem, finding solutions, improvements, a formal statement, a firmness of purpose, etc.   All these things may be good, but they are basically thoughts and not actions.  They are the beginnings of what could be great endings.  Everything starts with a thought but something needs to be done with those life-changing thoughts or they will never become reality.

This is the problem with making New Year Resolutions.  We start off the year with all sorts of ideas and plans which is really great but then we get bored, impatient or frustrated and we give up.  Life gets in the way and we keep on with our bad habits, struggling and feeling like we have failed until the next year rolls around.  Then we try again.

Change doesn’t come easily.  It takes patience, perseverance and planning.  Instead of just resolving to do something, we need to turn our resolutions into realistic goals that we can work towards.  The most important step in making change is writing down your thoughts.  Just leaving thoughts floating around in your head will rarely accomplish anything.

• write down all your amazing ideas and thoughts
• circle the 1-3 most important things you want to accomplish in the next year; don’t try to do too much or you will soon become stressed and not be able to keep going
• set up a plan to accomplish those things, breaking them down into small steps than can be easily be done every day or week
• every day, check off what you have done in order to accomplish your goals
• if you don’t succeed that day, don’t beat yourself up, just promise yourself you will do it the next day
• keep going even when you feel frustrated or defeated
• celebrate small victories as you go along
• get family and friends involved so they can encourage and support you
• review your goals and make necessary revisions if something is not working properly

If you stick to a WRITTEN PLAN, you sill soon seen some positive changes happening.  Be patient, be persistent and you will be victorious!

 

Do you make mountains out of molehills?

How often do you make a big deal out of nothing or turn a minor issue into a major issue or exaggerate something way out of proportion? Often our daily problems seem a lot bigger and more important than they really are. Life can be so complicated that we end up wasting a large amount of time dealing with things that are unnecessary and have little value in our lives.

When problems arise, we need to stop and ask ourselves a few questions so we can determine which problems need to be addressed and which ones need to be dismissed.

1) Does this really matter to my life right now and should I take the time needed to address it?
2) Will my reaction to this issue impact anyone else in a positive way?
3) Will this issue matter at all tomorrow, next week, next month or next year?

If the answer is a definite ‘Yes“, then it should be addressed. If the answer is ‘No” or ‘I’m not sure,” it should probably be dismissed at least for the time being. When we make a big deal out of everything that happens, we risk having a breakdown in communication with others and the possibility of bigger problems to deal with.

If we can develop a habit of stopping to think before we react in any situation, we can have a happier, more peaceful life. Everything that happens is not that important and we can just let it go. It isn’t that easy but if I can do it, so can you.

Do you look your best today?

When we get dressed, we try to pay close attention to what we are wearing so we will look good.  Sometimes, we will try on several outfits until we find the one that looks the best.  But does wearing nicely matched clothing and accessories really make us look our best?

What happens if we wake up with a bad attitude?  Does looking nice cover up any nasty thoughts that might be rolling around in our head or stop us from making unkind comments?

If we spent as much time working on changing our attitude as we do changing our outward appearance, we could make a positive impact on the people we meet and also become a lot happier.

So, do you really look your best today?  Does your attitude look as good as your appearance?

Do you compare yourself to others?

Many of us play the comparison game.  You know the game where you are always looking at other people and wishing you had their lives, their family, their house, their possessions, their looks, their money, their job and whatever else they have that you don’t have.  It is natural for us to look to others and see what they have but when we start comparing our lives with their lives, we almost always come up short.

The problem with this game is that we can become trapped in a negative mindset of bitterness, resentment and unhappiness.  We strive to become like other people and gain what they have at great cost to ourselves.  We live frustrated and  unfulfilled lives. not even realizing that it is a losing battle.

If we could see into the lives of those people we compare ourselves to, we would be surprised to see that they are also comparing themselves to others and wishing for something they didn’t have.  People who have lots of money are often lonely because they put money ahead of their personal relationships and have distanced themselves from family and friends.  People who have more possessions are often in debt and are struggling to pay their bills.  People who have better jobs often hate their work and wish they could do something else.

There will always be someone who is richer, smarter and better looking than we are.  We should celebrate our own strengths and abilities and look to others for inspiration and motivation.   We were created as unique individuals and we should never compare ourselves to others because this is a game we can never win and we will always feel empty.

Instead of comparing ourselves to people who have more than we do, we should compare ourselves to people in the world that have less than we do and be thankful for what we have.  Almost half the world lives on less than $3 day, many of them jobless, homeless and hungry.  It is sad that we want to have what other people have when we have so much already.  Being thankful is a great positive habit to develop and the only way to win the comparison game.  When we think about others instead of ourselves, we will find true happiness and peace.

Worry is a waste of time

I used to worry about everything.  I was a real worrywart.  If you haven’t heard this term before, it refers to someone who worries without a cause.  We worry about almost anything; our families, our health, our job, money, the weather and everything in between.

Worrying is normal but some people carry it to an excess.  They may even avoid certain places, people and activities because they are worried about getting hurt or sick.

Excessive worrying can lead to stress and anxiety and make you physically ill.  It can also affect your appetite, your sleep, your relationships and your work.  This can lead to harmful lifestyle habits such as alcohol, drugs and smoking. Better to try and work on changing one bad habit (worrying) instead of adding more bad habits.

When we are faced with a situation that causes us to worry we need to consider whether or not there is anything we can do to change the situation If there is, then we should take action so we can stop worrying about it. If we can’t change the situation, then we need to try to release our worry by focusing on doing something positive.   Worrying will NOT change the outcome.

Write down your worries in a journal and forget about them. Writing things down is a great way to relieve stress. Then at the end of the day, sit down in a comfortable place and review your worries. How many actually turned out the way you expected?

Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.  Erma Bombeck

Do you play the blame game?

We have all played the BLAME GAME but have you ever won?  You know, the game where we transfer our faults to someone else so we can avoid responsibility for our own actions.  If we can just make someone else look bad or get them to accept fault, it will make us feel better and excuse any bad behaviour on our part.  The only problem with this is that it doesn’t solve anything and can actually make things worse.

Why do we play the Blame Game?  It isn’t really much fun and people usually get hurt, including ourselves.   It is because we lack confidence and we are afraid that if we do something wrong, people won’t like us.  If we can point the blame in another direction, we think it makes us look better.

How many of us have said:

• You ruined my life
• I’m late because of the kids, husband, traffic….
• You are the problem in this relationship
• I’m overweight because you give me too much food
• My boss is holding me back from getting a better position
• Your overspending got us into debt

Do you take any responsibility for what happens in your life?  Blaming others is a negative action that eventually makes us feel worse and causes a lot of stress for everyone.  Nobody is perfect and others can cause problems for us, but many of our problems are the result of our own poor choices and how we respond to others.  We need to take responsibility for our part and choose how we respond in difficult situations.

 

Do you have an addiction?

The truth is we are all addicted to something.  Most of us believe that an addiction is being addicted to drugs, alcohol or cigarettes.  However, the dictionary defines ADDICTION as 1) the quality or state of being addicted 2) a compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance known by the user to be harmful;  characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal.

In simple terms, anything our body craves on a regular basis and we can’t do without, is an addiction.  Besides substances, we can also be addicted to behaviours, emotions, activities and stuff.  Behavioural addictions can include gambling, exercise, sex and eating.   Emotional addictions can include anger, depression and sadness.  Addictions to activities can include watching TV, playing video games and playing sports.   Addictions to stuff can include excessive buying of things you don’t really need (hoarding) and often go into debt to pay for them.

What are you addicted to?  Do you overindulge in any activity that is causing serious problems for you, your family, friends and anyone else in your life?  If so, try to take steps to take charge of your life and make some positive changes.  You can be addicted to positive things like reading, walking, singing, playing solitaire, eating healthy foods and doing good deeds.  Take charge of your life and work on building some positive addictions.  Don’t let your life control you.  Talk to a trusted family member or friend and ask them to help you eliminate those negative addictions.  Seek professional help for the ones you can’t seem to control and start enjoying your life.

Stop making those new year’s resolutions

Why do we make New Year’s resolutions?  Because we know that our lives are in chaos, that changes need to be made and deep down we want to be a better person.  The problem is – we don’t keep those resolutions and we slip back into old habits again.  Why does this happen?

When we make a resolution, it is trying to change something that is superficial.  We want to lose weight so we start dieting or exercising.  We want to quit smoking or another bad habit so we promise ourselves that we will stop.  We want to get our houses cleaned up so we try to sort and organize.  We want to stop spending more money than we make and we try to follow a budget.  But this is just the tip of the iceberg.  There is something deeper going on that we should be addressing.  We should ask ourselves why we are doing the thing we don’t want to do.

• Why are we gaining weight?
• Why are we smoking?
• Why are we biting our nails?
• Why is our house so cluttered?
• Why do we spend too much money on things we don’t need?
• Why do we have this bad habit?

We need to check deep inside ourselves and figure out what is causing the problem in the first place.  Is there a relationship issue that needs to be resolved?  Is there an emotional issue that requires professional help?  Do we need an attitude adjustment?  Do we lack the confidence needed to make positive changes?  Do we have supportive people who can give us the push we need to move ahead?

Making change is difficult and we need to understand who we are and why we do the things we do before we can make any lasting changes.  Forget those New Year’s resolutions that you won’t likely keep.  Spend time doing some searching and making positive changes.