I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

The Tender Twenty Paradox (and Miley’s big mistake)

A very well written piece on Miley Cyrus!

The Beggar's Bakery

By: Jana Greene

I must admit that curiosity got the best of me, and I watched the clip of the Miley Cyrus debacle at the MTV VMA awards.

My first reaction was total disgust. Miley is only twenty years old! And then a primal urge to find this world-famous woman-child, and smother her in hugs. Sometimes the mother in me just overwhelms every other instinct.

She is so in-between.

In her racy act, her suggestive wardrobe and antics  tried to convey woman; but her poor judgment screams child.

Her ‘twerking’ tells the world she knows what to do with her lady parts, but the fact that she flaunted her lady parts publically lets us all know that she is still a child. Or that she is high on more than just life, or could be mentally unstable. There is more to being a grown-up than grinding. Nothing says “paradox” like…

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Every addiction starts with a bad habit

blue and green world headHabits are routines of behaviour that are repeated regularly and occur without thought.   We develop habits by doing something over and over again often on a daily basis until they become part of us.   Research shows that it takes about 21 -30 consecutive days to create a new habit.

When we are children we form basic habits like getting dressed, eating, bathing, going to school.  Learning to tie shoes is a habit and once learned we don’t even think about it anymore.  As we grow we continue to develop more habits both good and bad.  The good ones help us navigate through life without spending a lot of time thinking about what we are doing.  The bad ones can become irritating issues or major problems that will eventually destroy our lives.

Addictions are just bad habits that we have allowed to control our lives.   We don’t realize that when we smoke one cigarette, drink that first drink or take that first drug that it might just become a habit.   It may not seem like a bad thing in the beginning because we can wait a few days until the next time, but too many times it becomes a daily habit and than we no longer have control over what we do.  The addiction has taken hold and our life has become unmanageable.

Children will develop their habits from what they hear and see.  If people around them are using good behaviours they are likely to develop good habits.  If people around them are using bad behaviours they are likely to develop bad habits.   Adults should be setting good examples to our younger generation so they will not develop any bad habits which could result in serious addictions.

We can become addicted to almost anything if we do it excessively and it interferes significantly with normal daily living.    This can include eating, gambling, viewing pornography, drinking caffeine, watching TV, exercising and so on.  We can even become addicted to harmful behaviours such as anger and bitterness.

If you have an addiction, try to work on breaking this out-of-control habit by creating a new habit that will take the place of the old habit.  Addictions are hard to overcome, so you will have to work hard every day and keep busy doing other things.  It will take longer than the 21-30 days it takes to form a new habit but with a lot of patience and a committment to changes, you can succeed.  Joining a support group is extremely helpful.  If you have a family member or friend who has an addiction, try to encourage them to create new habits and support them in their efforts.

Do you have any bad habits?

Have your bad habits become addictions?

Make a plan today to work on eliminating your bad habits and addictions.  You are worth it and you can do it!


The chains of habit are generally too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.  ~Samuel Johnson

 Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.  ~Mark Twain
A habit is something you can do without thinking – which is why most of us have so many of them.  ~Frank A. Clark 

The unfortunate thing about this world is that good habits are so much easier to give up than bad ones.  ~Somerset Maugham
Habit, if not resisted, soon becomes necessity.  ~St. Augustine
The second half of a man’s life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half.  ~Feodor Dostoevski
 Habits are at first cobwebs, then cables.  ~Spanish Proverb
 The easier it is to do, the harder it is to change.  ~Eng’s Principle
 The best way to break a bad habit is to drop it.  ~Leo Aikman
Every grown-up man consists wholly of habits, although he is often unaware of it and even denies having any habits at all.  ~Georges Gurdjieff




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One small word, many huge problems…..

Slide15DIET!!!  This one small word is one of the most popular New Year’s resolutions, yet it causes numerous problems for people when it becomes an obsession.

Start the new year right by trying to lose some weight!   Companies promise to help you lose that excess weight so you will find happiness and be successful.  There are all sorts of different diets to try, fitness clubs to join and exercise equipment to buy.   But are these promises real?

Many people become obsessed with dieting because society projects unrealistic images of beauty.  And who gains from this?  Certainly not the people who are dieting – it is the companies who sell diet products and exercise equipment, the gyms, the doctors who perform plastic surgery, cosmetic companies and so on.  They make billions of dollars each year trying to make us feel bad about ourselves.

In actual fact, most people who go on diets do NOT succeed.   About 90% FAIL, so you have a 1 in 10 chance to succeed – not very good odds.  Besides, dieting causes other problems like eating disorders, damage to internal organs and depression.  Why do we want to hurt ourselves?  I dieted myself for years and was always frustrated because I wasn’t successful.   Dieting became an addiction and I was obsessed with losing weight.  So what happened to those promises of finding happiness?  And where is all that money I spent on diet plans and equipment?  All gone for what!

Instead of trying different ways to lose weight and then giving up when they don’t work, find a healthy diet that includes the 4 basic food groups, don’t skip meals, don’t overeat, exercise regularly and do everything in moderation.   Ask your family doctor about a healthy diet and exercise plan that will work for you.   Also, remember that it takes time and patience to lose weight properly and keep it off.  Nobody gains weight in a few days or weeks and we can’t expect to lose it quickly.  Since I stopped looking for a quick and easy way to lose weight, I’ve been eating properly, exercising when I can and I am able to maintain a healthy weight.hold 2 red pompoms

Society makes it hard to feel confident about ourselves.  We are constantly told that we aren’t good enough and we keep trying to be that perfect person; whoever that may be.  We need to stop comparing ourselves to other and enjoy being in our own body; it is the only one we will ever have and we should take good care of it.  We can never get away from ourselves – everywhere we go, there we are.  We have to live with ourselves, so we need to learn to like ourselves.  We were born special and unique – so let’s celebrate this New Year and be happy just being ourselves!






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In today’s world, young people have huge issues about beauty and body image.  Did you know that about 2/3 of all females avoid participating in some activities because they feel bad about how they look and almost half of all males are unhappy with their looks?  There is so much pressure on young girls and boys to be physically perfect and this creates all sorts of problems – stress, anxiety, depression, addictions, eating disorders, and so on.

All you have to do is read a magazine, turn on the TV or look at a computer to see images of ‘beautiful’ people living ‘perfect‘ lives.   These unrealistic images of beauty become reality, especially for our young people and they become obsessed with their looks, losing all sense of their own unique identity.

Body weight has become a major issue and even though only 19% of teenage girls are overweight, about 67% think they need to lose weight.  Stats show that 80% of girls have dieted by the time they are 18 – but listen to this – 40% of girls have dieted by the time they are 9!!!  This just about blew me away!!!    What is happening to our young people?

We need to start promoting healthy living to our younger generation.  How?  By becoming a positive role model and setting a good example.

Are you confident in your own abilities and do you have a strong self-esteem about your own body image?  This will have a positive effect on those around you.  Or are you constantly dieting, criticising your own looks and obsessed about your clothing?  This will have a negative affect on those around you.

Make some positive changes in your life and then consider becoming a mentor to someone in our younger generation.  There are so many young people who don’t have any positive influences in their lives and they are desperately struggling to find out who they really are.    Try to make a difference in someone’s life and you will find it very rewarding!

Dove has put together a lot of ideas on how to start discussions with young people.  Visit their site for some great ideas


What are you addicted to?

Most of us think of an addiction as being addicted to drugs, alcohol or cigarettes.  However an addiction can be to anything as the dictionary clearly defines.  The dictionary definition of ADDICTION is 1)the quality or state of being addicted (e.g. addiction to reading)   2) a compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance (as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal; broadly: persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful.

When we overindulge in any activity to the extent that it becomes harmful in some way and we can’t manage without doing it, the activity becomes an addiction.   This causes problems for the addict and everyone around them.

Besides substances, we can also be addicted to behaviours, emotions, activities and stuff.  Behavioural addictions can include gambling, exercise, sex and eating.   Emotional addictions can include anger, depression and sadness.  Addictions to activities can include watching TV, playing video games and playing sports.   Addictions to stuff can include excessive buying of things you don’t really need (hoarding) and often go into debt to pay for them.

Are you addicted to anything?  Do you overindulge in any activity that is causing serious problems for you, your family, friends and anyone else in your life?  If so, try to take steps to take charge of your life and make some positive changes.   Talk to a trusted family member or friend and ask them to help you .  Seek professional help.  Don’t let your life control you.  Take control of your life and be happy!!  Life can be great!!

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