I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

Stop and think

wordsDo you ever really stop and think about some of the words you say?  Words have tremendous power that will affect someone in a positive, negative or even neutral way.

Words that are full of love, joy and kindness will have a positive effect.   Words that are encouraging and uplifting will have a positive effect.  Words that share wonderful ideas or tell about exciting, happy events will have a positive effect.  Positive words can build strong relationships and lead to happiness and success in life.  Positive words can build confidence and esteem for both the speaker and the listener.

On the other hand, words that are full of hate, anger and unkindness will have a negative effect.  Words that are discouraging and belittling will have negative effect.  Words that contain rumours or gossip will have a negative effect.  Negative words can destroy relationships and lead to misery and defeat.  Negative words can cause low esteem and this can affect both the speaker and the listener.

Words can also affect people in a neutral way if they are meaningless and unimportant.   If we only talk about the weather or matters that don’t interest the people we talk to, they won’t be affected much either in a positive or negative way.

Always remember that our words can never be reversed or erased.  You can’t go back and un-say that unkind word or mean statement.  Have you ever spoken or heard these words?  I have.

  • You’re worthless
  • I hate you
  • You are so fat
  • You can’t do anything right
  • What an idiot
  • You are ugly
  • Your life has no value

These are horrible words that should never come out of anyone’s mouth.   They could easily hurt someone and might negatively affect their entire life.  Once words are spoken, power is released to either heal or hurt, restore or destroy, lift up or tear down.

Make your words count.    Even if you are only talking to yourself, make sure you don’t hurt yourself with negative words.  Create a good habit by practicing positive words so you will be able to have a positive effect on other people.

Stop and think carefully about what you want to say.


Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.  ~Horace

I just wish my mouth had a backspace key.  ~Author Unknown

By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach.  ~Winston Churchill

Be careful of your thoughts; they may become words at any moment.  ~Ira Gassen

The words you choose to say are just as important as the decision to speak.  ~Author Unknown

Keep your words soft and tender because tomorrow you may have to eat them.  ~Author Unknown


Watch your words

stickman with megaphoneEvery word that comes out of your mouth has the potential to help someone or hurt someone.  Words are very powerful.  Once a word is spoken it can never be taken back.  The other person has already heard what you said and it can’t be reversed.

Can you remember a time when you said something and immediately wished you could take back the words?    I sure can; there were many times when the words just came flying out because I was hurt, angry or upset and instantly I wished that I hadn’t said anything.   It was these times that I felt stupid, inconsiderate, mean, thoughtless and ignorant.  My words hurt the other person and they came back to hurt me.

We should always be careful what we say.   I am now able to stop myself most of the time and think first before any unkind or nasty words come out of my mouth.  It takes a conscious effort to do this, but if you keep practicing, you will create a new positive habit and it becomes easier.  When speaking to someone, consider these things:

  • Will my words hurt or offend someone?
  • Will my words help or lift this person up?
  • Am I angry with this person?
  • Am I blaming this person for something that isn’t their fault?
  • Can I use gentler words to get my meaning across?
  • Should I just be quiet and say nothing?

We spend a lot of time with people and we can do a lot of damage if we aren’t careful with our words.   Negative words bring negative results.  Positive words bring positive results.

Watch your words!

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Who are you throwing stones at?

stonesStoning a person is an ancient form of capital punishment that is extremely barbaric.   It is a slow execution where the person dies by being tortured.   Stoning originated in Biblical times and is still practiced in some countries today.

In a country where stoning is practiced, the guilty person is brought to a location where a crowd is waiting and then they are usually buried in a ditch to their waist or chest.   Then people in the crowd begin to throw stones and continue until the person dies.  No individual can be identified as the one who actually kills the subject, yet they all hold some degree of responsibility for their actions.

What gives anyone the right to throw stones at anyone?   None of us are perfect and we all make mistakes.  It isn’t right that we should judge people as doing something that is worse than what we have done ourselves.   It doesn’t matter how big the crime, we are all guilty of something.

Some of us are guilty of ‘throwing stones’ at other people by using words that hurt.   Our words can become a dangerous weapon when we say something that is unkind, thoughtless or mean, hurting that person as much as if we had thrown a stone at them.

Words are so powerful and they can have a lasting effect on a person, hurting them emotionally, mentally and spiritually.   We can’t always see the effect our words have on people because often they will hide their reaction or if the words are written or typed, we can’t see their reaction.

We need to make sure our words are kind and thoughtful so we can show our love and respect to others.

Are you throwing stones at anyone?  Try throwing some love instead and see the results.


Sticks and stones may break my bones…..

face with tear….and words will never hurt me.  Most of us have heard this silly saying and probably never thought much of it.  I used to believe that words didn’t hurt as much as being hit by an object, but words can often hurt us more than a big stick or a large stone.

When someone insults us, blames us, criticizes us or throws foul language at us, it makes a mark that can’t be seen and one that doesn’t go away quickly.  If you are hurt physically, it can hurt a lot, but eventually the pain does go away (at least in most cases).  However, if someone uses mean and cruel words, they will likely be remembered forever and continue to hurt.

Words have power and they can influence us greatly.  Kind words can comfort or heal us and be the beginning of a good relationship.  Unkind words can wound us or even kill our spirit and destroy relationships.

You can pick a person up by just smiling and saying, “Hello, how are you doing today?’  Or you can put a person down by snarling at them and telling them to get out of your way.

We need to be careful with our words and our actions so that we don’t hurt others and make them feel bad.  Too often we don’t even think about what we are saying, and we just let our feelings rule what comes out of our mouths.  We have to be responsible for our words.

Everything we say reflects what is in our hearts.  What is in your heart?  Do you hold any resentment or anger?  Do you feel pain or frustration?  These things may cause you to speak works that may hurt others.

Try to examine what is in your heart and ask yourself if your words hurt or heal.

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.

~Tom Krause