Teach your children to love

Grandchildren….tiny, innocent bundles of joy…..babies are truly a gift from God. 

It seems like only yesterday that I was looking down into the face of my first grandson.  His beautiful blue eyes were shining bright and I felt such love for this precious child.   However, it has been years and he is growing so fast along with his younger brother.

What a marvellous feeling it is to be a grandmother and much different than becoming a parent.   A grandmother looks from the outside as a spectator, watching the pain and experiencing the joy.   The mother looks from the inside as the participant, feeling both the pain and the joy. 

Do parents realize what a unique gift they have been given?  Are they ready for this enormous responsibility?   A valuable human life has been placed into their hands.  Just as a sculptor creates a piece of pottery from a lump of clay, a parent needs to carefully mold their child into something special.   

Was I ready to be a parent?  No, I really wasn’t.  I hadn’t taken any courses or read any books.  All I knew was what I had been taught by my parents.   They provided my basic needs and taught me some good values.  I know that they loved me, but there was something missing….emotional support.    

Children need to feel loved and wanted.  Many parents think that their children automatically know that they love them, but they don’t unless we show them.    A hug, a kiss or a gentle touch can mean so much.  A simple note telling them they are special.  A quick, “You are so important to me”, can have a huge impact on their emotional well-being.  I didn’t get enough of those things growing up and it created a feeling of loneliness inside. 

Too often we don’t listen to what our children are trying to say to us or we completely ignore them because they are just children, but they are valuable human beings and they need our support in order to learn and grow.   We also need to keep learning and growing ourselves, so we can continue influencing them throughout their lifetime.  It doesn’t matter how old your children are, they are still your children and they need to know you care about them. 

As a grandparent, I know that I made many mistakes as a parent and I’ve spend a lot of time trying to discover what it takes to be a better parent and grandparent  I want to become a positive role model for my grown children so I can influence them and help them become better parents.    

Teach your children to love and respect others by example. This is so important in a world full of hate that seems to be growing daily. Create a safe, loving environment so they know you will always be there for them.  Encourage them and let them know how special they are. 

Teach your child good habits.  Be a positive role model. It’s hard to be a good parent if we have bad habits and feel negatively about ourselves.  Children are always watching the adults around them and imitating what they say and do.  Try to be careful with your words and act in an appropriate way so they will develop good habits. 

Teach your child to communicate.  Be open-minded and listen to what your child is saying.  You don’t always have to agree but your child needs to feel like what they are saying is important.  Try to communicate in a positive way so you will build a good parent-child relationship. 

Teach your child discipline.  Set a few simple rules, discuss these with your child and explain the consequences.  Make sure they are fair and always enforce the rules.  When they do a wrong behaviour, separate the behaviour from the child and discipline with love. 

Teach your child to help others.  Involve them in positive activities.  Involve yourself in their lives and demonstrate acts of kindness towards others. 

Love your children in every way possible.  Love them enough to teach them good values.  Love them enough to influence them in a positive way.  Love them enough to support them even when they fail.  Just love them as God loves you. 

Proverbs 22:6: “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”

Who influences your children the most?

Until a few years ago, I believed that parents had the most influence on their children. Now I believe that children are influenced most by who and what they spend the most time with.

For centuries, children spent most of the day with their families, learning basic life skills and growing healthy and strong. Now children are being herded off to buildings they call schools, where they learn all sorts of things that are unimportant, irrelevant and certainly not conducive to keeping the family unit intact. Children are taught not to listen to their parents, to do whatever they want and they don’t even have to tell their parents what they are doing.

After spending hours a day at school, children watch TV, play video games or use social media which can have a huge impact on what they think and how they act.

Pay close attention to who is actually raising your children. Who do they spend the most time with? What is your child learning? This world does not care about your child. It is up to you to protect them and fight for their future!

This pandemic of fear is destroying our kids!

Fear is a terrible thing. It is an invisible force that literally sucks the life out of us. It causes irrational thinking and can be very contagious. We can pass on our fears to other family members, our children and everyone around us.

I am greatly concerned about our children in this craziness over the coronavirus. They are growing up in a world of fear and their precious lives are being destroyed.  What kind of future will they have? We are teaching them to fear sickness and death. We are teaching them to avoid people. We are teaching them to obey and not fight for their rights.

It is very sad when anyone dies but sickness and death are a normal part of life. Germs and viruses have been around forever and we can’t live in a bubble. Every day until now we have risked our lives without a second thought.  About 150,000 people die EVERY day from accidents, suicides, contagious diseases, strokes, heart attacks, cancer and other illnesses. Have we ever locked down the world to stop this from happening? NO because we CAN’T stop sickness or death!

Our governments and the mainstream media have convinced so many people that covid is going to kill everyone, causing an irrational fear of sickness and death. In the beginning, we were told about the deaths and now the death rate is way down, they are reporting cases to keep us in fear.  The number of cases should not scare us, they are just positive tests and they actually bring down the percentage of deaths per million and brings us closer to herd immunity and the end of the virus. This is NOT the worst virus and according to numerous reports by experts all around the world who are backed by scientific evidence, this is no worse than the annual flu except for very ill people and mainly the elderly.  We should be working to keep these people safe and allowing the large majority of the population to get back to living a normal life.

ALL deaths are horrible but we need to consider ALL people and what risks are being taken.  In an epidemic people will die but when we lock down the world and impose draconian restrictions, EVERYONE suffers! We will all get sick sometimes and eventually we will die. That is a fact. Most of the people who died in the past few months were very ill and already dying from cancer or other diseases and illnesses, yet they were classified as dying FROM covid, not WITH covid which makes the deaths look worse than they really are. Here is an article that confirms this fact. https://www.foxnews.com/politics/birx-says-government-is-classifying-all-deaths-of-patients-with-coronavirus-as-covid-19-deaths-regardless-of-cause

Mainstream media continually presents stories and shows pictures of people dying from covid with scary looking tubes and wires. If course this makes us feel bad. But what if the media showed showed us pictures of people torn and bleeding in car crashes 24/7, would we soon be terrified of driving? If the media showed pictures of people dying from cancer and other horrible illnesses everyday all day, what affect would this have on our wellbeing? I have watched 2 people slowly die from lung cancer and believe me, it was just as horrible as a covid death.

I feel very sad for the people who have died from the virus and I am not downplaying the seriousness. However I am far more concerned about what the lockdowns have done to society.  Deaths from suicides, overdoses, missed surgeries and undiagnosed illnesses will likely surpass covid deaths.  Half the world has lost their jobs and businesses and will live in poverty; many will die of starvation. Addictions are increasing. Child abuse is growing rapidly.  Families are being destroyed.  We are being treated like animals and people are being shamed and ridiculed if they don’t share the same beliefs.

We need to start paying attention to what is going on and stop giving in to irrational fears. There is so much evidence that shows we are being led to fear a virus that has a 99% recovery rate. Viruses will be with us forever and we can’t eradicate death. We need to be careful and take necessary precautions but we NEED TO LIVE! Right now we are not living. We are being held hostage by corrupt governments that want us to live in fear so we will they can track us and vaccinate us. This is NOT a conspiracy theory.  It is happening everywhere. Just do the research but you won’t find it on mainstream media. They are controlled by global companies that want to hide the truth.

We are in serious trouble unless we all get together and fight this tyranny! Mandatory masks are just the first step, then mandatory contact tracing/tracking and mandatory vaccines. Think I am crazy? Look at Australia. They have been completely locked down. Stores and businesses are closed. People have to stay within 5 km of home. Only 1 person in a household is allowed to go for groceries.  They can go outside for 1 hour between 8 and 5. No exercise allowed. WHY? Because they have 483 new cases – NOT DEATHS, just cases that are people who have tested positive but not even sick. Australia has a total of only 255 covid deaths since January in a country of about 25 million!! This is insanity! According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics “44,079 doctor certified deaths (not covid) occurred between 1 January 2020 and 28 April 2020″!!! But who cares about those deaths. Only covid deaths are important, right???  My prayers go out to those poor people in Australia!

The sad fact is, Canada will soon be in the same situation if people don’t wake up and see what is really going on! By listening to the lies from the media and being compliant without a fight, we are destroying our own lives, the lives of our families and the future of our children. What kind of world are we going to live in? Things are only going to get worse if we don’t stand up for our freedoms. 

I keep praying that God will expose the lies being perpetrated by mainstream media, our corrupt governments and certain health professionals and bring them to justice.  Then maybe fear will be dispelled and people can regain their logic and common sense!

I am no longer proud to be Canadian

Our veterans who fought in World War 1 and 2 risked their lives to keep Canada safe and free.  Those brave soldiers would be greatly appalled at what is happening to our country right now.  Our freedoms are being quickly taken away from us.  Many people are willingly allowing themselves to be brainwashed by mainstream media and have lost all ability to think logically and clearly, allowing themselves to fear sickness and death, something that we face every single day of our lives and until now, have never been afraid of.  People are blindly following restrictions and rules set up by our government and so-called experts that are not even based on scientific data, do not make any sense at all and are actually against our constitution.  There isn’t much going on right now that would give me any reason to be a proud Canadian.

Scientific data clearly shows there is NO emergency and no need for wearing masks, taking tests or social distancing.  Hundreds of doctors and experts have stated over and over again for the past few weeks that this is not a pandemic, only another annual flu that unfortunately can cause serious illness to those who are elderly and those in poor health.  I feel very badly for anyone who gets sick for ANY REASON.  ALL deaths are terrible but people seem to be fixated on covid and completely ignore any other illnesses or deaths.  Compassion for all people seems to have gone out the window.    There is NO reason to keep healthy people locked down or making them wear masks.  There should be restrictions put in place ONLY for those who are at risk.  People who are against this lockdown have been called irresponsible but in my opinion, our government has been irresponsible, causing more deaths and distress by keeping people in fear and imposing unnecessary restrictions.  Any doctor who backs these restrictions obviously is being forced to comply or has their own agenda.

I have sent letters to government officials stating how I feel, sending them articles with correct information and asking questions.  I usually get a form response with no answer to any of my questions.  Here are a few:

• Why do we hear about increasing cases every day when these are not people who are ill or even deaths?  It should be good to know that so many people have tested positive because they have already been ill, so this is actually a good thing and it will lead to herd immunity and help the virus die out naturally.  Is the purpose just to keep people scared?
• In a world population of 7 billion people, only about 500,000 people have died from covid (although this is questionable because doctors are being told to list all deaths as covid).  This is lower than the death rate for the annual flu so it is NOT a pandemic and why is it still being treated as a major disaster?
• Why is it safe for people to sit at a table in a restaurant for an hour or more, eating and talking without wearing masks BUT it is not okay to shop in Walmart for a hour without wearing a mask?
• Why is it safe enough to spend half an hour at the dentist having our teeth cleaned or getting a checkup without a mask but have to wear a mask while sitting alone in the chair waiting for the dentist?
• Why is it necessary to traumatize kids when they go back to school with social distancing and masks when there is NO evidence that they will get sick?

Every day I do at least 2-3 hours of research, reading articles and watching videos from top scientists, doctors, lawyers, alternate media and I admire all the hundreds of experts that are willing to stand up for what is right and share the truth, often at personal cost.  They are my heroes and they are fighting to take our world back before we all become one global community run by communists.  Holding people hostage with a pandemic of fear WILL destroy our country.  If Canada falls, we ALL fall.  If we allow our freedoms to be taken away, ALL of us lose.  If we become a communist country, we will ALL have to abide by very strict laws.

I care deeply about people and I am very concerned about the future of our country and the safety and welfare of our children and grandchildren.  What kind of world will they grow up in?  Will they have any freedoms at all?  I can’t do much because I am just a poor senior but I will fight in any way I can for the rights of my family and my grandchildren.  I will also keep praying because I know that God is still in control of this world and He will ultimately bring justice.   Please stop listening to mainstream media and corrupt leaders and start searching for the truth.  Many people are being silenced but there is still a lot of truth out there.  Check Rebel News and Fox News (they are mainstream but they are reporting the truth).  Then stand up for your family, your country and your God-given rights!

 

What is happening to our world?

I never thought that I would come to the last years of my life living as a slave to tyranny. For 68 years I have considered the country I live in to be the best in the world. I was proud to be a Canadian, proud and free as our national anthem says. But now I am shocked to see what is happening in my country and around the world. We have been taken hostage by governments whose agenda is not to protect our health or welfare.  Instead, it is to promote fear, cause people to distrust each other, divide families and destroy lives.

For those who only watch mainstream media, either by choice or because they do not have access to alternate media sources, they are being told 24/7 to fear, fear, fear! Cases are rising! People are dying! Stay home and stay safe.  Wear masks! Avoid people!  Does this not send off an alarm that something is wrong?  It should! Why have we lived for centuries taking risks of getting sick, having an accident, getting injured or even dying, and not given it a second thought?  It is because we know that sickness and death are inevitable and we can’t stop this from happening.  We always have to use wisdom and common sense and be cautious when dangers are present but we should NEVER fear living!  We have had serious pandemics in the past and germs and viruses will be with us forever but we have never locked down the world before and destroyed so many lives.

I am disappointed to see how many people are not paying attention to what is going on around them and are allowing their freedoms to be taken away without a fight. Fear is a terrible thing and once it takes hold, it is almost impossible to ever think clearly again.  We have to fight fear itself or it will become like a cancer that grows and overtakes our lives. Covid is seen as a major disaster, yet people are failing to see any other deaths or disasters as having any importance.  ALL deaths are horrible but sickness and death are inevitable and can’t be stopped.  What is more serious – the death of an 80 year old with serious lung and heart problems who contracts covid and it shortens his life by a few days or months or a 12 year old who hung himself because of the lockdown?  I cry for both but there are many young people who are so full of despair that they are just giving up and losing their lives and this is WRONG!

Most of the covid deaths are elderly people or others who have serious health issues and they should have been protected. However, in order to try and protect a few thousand people, almost 7 billion lives around the world have been destroyed. Where is the logic in that? The lockdowns have caused a tremendous amount of death and destruction!   There have been drastic increases in suicides, deaths from postponed surgeries, physical and sexual abuse for children trapped in their homes, domestic abuse, addictions, job losses, businesses crushed and loneliness for people who are in homes and hospitals and not being allowed visitors.  We should never have to sacrifice one person’s life for another but this is what is happening.  A risk assessment should be done and the choice made to take the route where the least damage lies and this is not what has happened.  It may have started with the best intentions but there is enough evidence now that shows a lockdown is not helping anything.  In fact, the destruction is getting worse and there is no end in sight.

There is no longer any logical reason to be afraid.  Everyday we hear of new cases but these are NOT DEATHS!  These are just people who have tested positive or have a mild case and if they are sick, there is a 98% chance of recovery!  Hundreds of experts have been coming forward since April trying to tell us the truth but they are being dismissed by mainstream media or silenced.  Many doctors have stated they are afraid of losing their jobs if they speak up.  Covid is not the massive killer it was believed to be in the beginning and it has been around since the end of 2019 and millions are believed to have been infected and not even been aware of being sick.  Stats now show that it is no more dangerous than the annual flu and when herd immunity is reached, the virus will die out.  A lockdown people down may have initially kept the healthcare system from being overwhelmed, but keeping people locked down has kept the virus around longer and destroyed far more lives than necessary.

These things break my heart and it seems that there is no end to the tragedies.  We are being held hostage with rules that are not logical, are not backed by science and are rooted in fear.  Our governments don’t care about our health and welfare.  Their agenda is to keep us in fear waiting for a vaccine that may kill or maim us just so they can fill their pockets with money.  If this lockdown continues, we won’t have a world worth living in.   There is so much evidence out there and you certainly don’t have to believe what I say.  Just take the time and do the research.  It will shock you as to what is really going on.

I pray daily that God will expose the lies and corruption and bring our evil leaders to justice. We are all responsible for destroying God’s perfect world with our sin and the best thing we can do is ask for forgiveness and guidance. God is our only hope and I believe that He will help bring truth and light back into our darkening world.  May God have mercy on all of us!

Family traditions

Most families have some kind of family traditions that they celebrate at certain times of year or even every day.

• a festive meal at Christmas followed by singing carols and opening presents
• a family gathering at church for an Easter celebration
• a backyard barbeque for a summer birthday
• an annual vacation to a favourite campground
• reading stories at bedtime

Traditions form the foundation of our families and remind us that we are part of something other than ourselves.  They bring families together and give us the chance to celebrate things that really matter in life.  Traditions allow time for creating lasting memories and honouring past generations by sharing stories, beliefs and values.

It is important that we use every opportunity to follow old traditions and create new ones.  They shape our personality and help us develop a positive sense of belonging.  Taking the effort to keep traditions alive is time well spent.  Research shows that families who spend time together have stronger connections and experience fewer emotional and behavioural problems.

If you don’t have any family traditions, why not start some right now.  Traditions are important for keeping families together and helping us bond with those we love.

WHO is teaching your children?

As our children grow, they learn from everyone and everything around them.  They see and hear all sorts of things that catch their attention and they will try to imitate many of them.  When they are seeing and hearing positive things, it is a good thing and this will have a positive effect on their lives.  However, many of the things they hear and see are not very positive and could have a devastating effect on their lives.

Parents should be the main teacher for their children and be providing them with a positive example to follow.  However,  many parents today do not spend a lot of time with their children due to a busy schedule or lack of awareness in how to parent a child properly, and their children are left to finding guidance in other ways.  This could be from other family members or friends who may or may not be the best teachers.  Some children are left a lot in the hands of the TV or Media babysitter, who will certainly teach your children to be selfish, disrespectful, greedy and to expect the world to give them whatever they desire.  Is this the kind of child you want??  Is this the kind of child the world needs??  Of course not!!

We need to teach our children to be kind, loving and to respect other people so they will become responsible and confident adults.  Children want to communicate with their parents and to spend time with them.   If we are too busy to teach our children, they will learn from someone or something else.

So, WHO is teaching your children?

Countdown to Christmas! Do you have all your gifts ready?

Christmas is only 2 days away.  Do you have all your gifts ready?  I don’t mean those shiny, expensive things wrapped and sitting under the tree.  I mean all the important things like:

• the gift of love for your family and friends
• the gift of forgiveness for everyone you know, NOT just those who are nice to you
• the gift of sharing everything you have with others
• the gift of compassion for those who are in a dark, unhappy place
• the gift of time to spend with others, creating awesome new memories
• the gift of serving by doing something helpful for someone else
• the gift of conversation and taking time to sit and listen

These gifts don’t put a dent in your finances but they are worth far more than anything money can buy.  Life can be full of happiness when you show love to others through your actions.  Spread joy around this year by searching inside for those wonderful gifts you already have and share them with your loved ones.

What are you teaching your children?

When a child is born, their mind is like a blank slate just waiting for a story to be written.  Everything they see and hear makes an impression on their small, innocent minds.  Parents are their first teachers and can have the biggest impact on a child’s life which can lead to future success or failure.  As a child grows, they are also impacted by other family members, friends and teachers.  Even the media plays a large part on how a child learns and grows.  It is important that we show a positive example to our own children and anyone else we are in contact with.

What story are you writing on the blank slate of your children?

 

Helping your child become successful

It is the responsibility of every parent to help their children become confident and successful adults.  Unfortunately many parents struggle with little or no confidence and are unable to be a positive role model for their children.

Having confidence and strong self-esteem is important to a child, as it will help them become a successful adult.  Children learn the concept of success very early in life.  Think about when a baby starts to roll over, or walk, or puts those square pegs in the round hole.  Children don’t give up easily. They will try something and fail, then try again and fail and keep trying until they are successful.   Without even being taught, they have already learned how to fail successfully.  When they finally master what they are doing, they feel good about themselves, especially if they receive praise for their efforts.  This is when their confidence and esteem start to grow and develop.

If you are struggling as a parent and feel you are not a good role model for your children, you are not alone.  Most parents feel this way, including myself.   Building my own confidence was the first step in becoming a better parent and this led me to a greater awareness of what is necessary in raising a child.   Following are some of the ideas that I found in various books by leading child specialists.  These ideas are not just for parents but for anyone who is involved in raising a child such as other family members, friends, teachers, peers, etc.  We can ALL influence children in a positive way.  Sadly, there are many children today who do not have any positive role models.

1. Provide your children with a warm, loving, safe environment.   Children need to know they are safe and loved.  They need hugs and outward signs of affection.  They need to know that they are always welcome in their own home no matter what has happened.
2. Be a positive role model.  Children learn by what they see and hear.  We need to be careful with our  words and actions and try not to criticize or belittle them.  We need to be the person we want our child to be.   Showing respect for ourselves and the people around us will help them learn to respect themselves and others.
3. Encourage your children. Encourage your children to try new things and when they have succeeded, give them praise.  Help your children to feel proud of what they have accomplished and be patient if they have problems.
4. Allow your children to make mistakes.   Parents often try to help their children avoid making mistakes and only praising them when they succeed.  It is important to teach your child that life is not perfect and that they will fail sometimes.  When they make mistakes, discuss what lessons they have learned and encourage them to try again.
5. Communicate and listen.  Spend time with your child so you can listen to what they are saying and respond in a positive, non-judgmental and non-critical manner.  Acknowledge their feelings and when they are frustrated or upset, don’t dismiss or ignore them or tell them they are being silly.  Be open to discuss whatever they want to talk about as it will keep the lines of communication open.  Give compliments on how they look.  Help them discover their strengths and weaknesses.  Be there when they need you.
6. Involve children in positive activities.  Being active will help children keep fit, increase their confidence and they will form good relationships.  Get them involved in some type of activity such as sports, music, exercise or an activity group.   This will keep them from becoming overly immersed in the media which can result in serious problems.  However, don’t get them involved in too much activity as this will just create stress for the entire family.  Volunteering is a great positive activity for children.  It teaches children the value of helping others and builds esteem.
7. Discipline with love.  Children need to have reasonable boundaries that are enforced.  Discuss these with your child and make sure they understand what the consequences of their actions will be.  Always be fair, open-minded and loving.  When discipline is necessary, separate the child from the action and punish the action, not the child.
8. Help set  realistic goals.  Goals give purpose to life for both children and adults.  Goals will help your child work towards what they want to achieve and keep them focused.
9. Teach your children about self-image.  Body image often becomes the main focus of a child’s life, which can be harmful and damaging to their esteem.  Discuss how society creates an unrealistic image of beauty and help them understand that real beauty is not just how they look.  Teach your children to be confident about who they are.
10. Support your child.  Your child is a unique individual and you may not always agree with their choices.  Being supportive will help them build confidence and allow them to become independent.

It is certainly a difficult task to be a parent, but when we become a parent we are responsible for the life of another human being.  We need to take this seriously and be the best role model we can so our children can grow up to be positive parents themselves.  This does NOT mean that we should frustrate ourselves trying to become a perfect person because nobody can be perfect in an imperfect word.  We just need to take a look at our life and see what we can do to become a better role model for our children, our grandchildren and everyone else around us.

Start making some positive changes today!!  Read some books on positive parenting.  If you want something simple and easy to read, I can suggest my book, “Grandma’s Notes on Parenting”.  Click on “my books” page for order information on all of my books..  Following is a review by Reader’s Favourite.

BOOK REVIEW

Reviewed by Nonnie Jules for Readers’ Favorite

Grandma’s Notes on Parenting by Brenda Silveira is about the difficulty of being a parent for the first time and how unprepared all new parents are for the responsibility of another human being’s future. It will appeal to parents-to-be as well as new parents alike. The book contains a few short chapters on the traits and behaviors needed by every adult who wishes to be a positive role model so their children will learn how to become responsible adults. The author beats herself up a bit but I think it’s her way of showing others where she failed so they don’t make the same mistakes she did. I thought it humanized her. 

I really enjoyed reading Grandma’s Notes on Parenting because it was a very well written book about the trials and tribulations this grandma faced while raising her now adult daughters. We all know how loving and wise grandmothers are so, from her point of view, Brenda Silveira details the main traits needed to raise well-rounded, responsible children. She is very candid and honest in pointing out her mistakes as a mother and how, as a grandmother, she is much better equipped to help her daughters parent their children. There was a nice fluid flow to the writing and it made you feel as if you were sitting in Brenda’s living room, while she passed along some much needed advice. This is a good book that I would recommend to all.