imconfident

I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

Think nobody likes you? Wrong!

Never assume people won’t like you.  There are literally millions of people in the world who wish they could have a friend just like you.  Research shows that about 75% or more of the world’s population is lonely and would love to have someone reach out and talk to them.   Like you, they also believe that nobody could possibly like them or want to be their friend.

If you lack confidence and have low esteem, it can be difficult to even try to talk to other people.  Fear of rejection can hold you back from taking that first step and initiating a conversation with someone you don’t know.  It takes courage to approach people but it is well worth the risk as most people will respond in a positive way.   Look around and find someone who seems lonely, smile and say hello.  If you have time, start a conversation.  Be friendly, ask them some basic questions.   It might just brighten their day and lessen the load they are carrying.

Of course, there is the possibility that some people will ignore you or reject you because they may feel so bad about themselves and have closed themselves off to forming any friendships at all.   Their negative response shouldn’t stop you from continuing to try to connect with people.   And there will always be people who won’t want to be your friend because of personality conflicts, jealousy or other issues.   You can never hope to win everyone’s approval.

So if you think that nobody likes you, you are wrong!  If you believe this, then you probably don’t like yourself and you are sending out negative vibes that tell people not to like you!

  • Learn how to build your confidence so you can feel comfortable initiating a conversation.
  • Increase your esteem so you will feel good about yourself.
  • Discover your strengths and abilities.
  • Be thankful for everything you have.
  • Say positive statements or affirmations every day.
  • Show love and kindness to everyone you meet.

When you feel good about yourself and send out positive vibes to other people, they will feel comfortable and enjoy being in your presence.   If you want to have friends, you have to be a friend.

If you would like more information on building confidence and increasing your esteem, visit my website at http://www.imconfident.com.

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Are you building walls?

wallWhat is the purpose of building a wall?  We build walls to provide a shelter or security by defining a certain area.  This can be a good thing when you are talking about properties.

However when people start putting up personal walls, it is a different matter.  Many of us build walls to protect ourselves from being hurt.   Some of us started building these walls in our childhood, others started later in life when relationships became difficult.  We try to wall people out and become tough so we can’t get hurt.

The problem is, when we build a wall to keep people out, we are also keeping ourselves in.  We may be protecting ourselves from being hurt or rejected but we are closing the door to forming any positive relationships.   It is better to risk getting hurt than to avoid having any relationships at all.  Instead of building walls, build strong self-esteem so you aren’t sensitive to negative comments or actions.

Nothing we do can stop people from hurting us.  People who are in pain will hurt other people and the best thing we can do is respond with love and kindness.   Many times this will have a positive effect on both parties.

Are you building walls or building friendships?

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Are you sending out positive vibes?

5 friends circle look upEveryone wants to have friends, people to enjoy spending time with and share interests.  Some people find it easy to make friends but other people find it difficult.   Why?

It all depends on what kind of vibes you are sending out.   If you have confidence in yourself and show your positive qualities, you will send out a message inviting people to be your friend.  If you don’t have confidence in yourself and show your negative qualities, you will send out a message that turns people away from you.  Sometimes we aren’t even aware that we are sending out a negative message and we wonder why people don’t like us.

If you want people to like you, you have to like yourself.  If you lack confidence, it is important that you learn how to build confidence and develop a positive attitude.   Being positive about yourself and looking at life with a positive perspective will tell people that you will be a valuable friend.

People who find it easy to make friends are sending out positive vibes.  They have the following characteristics:

  • outgoing and friendly
  • caring and empathetic
  • helpful and cooperative
  • happy, wear a smile
  • don’t complain or criticize
  • good listener
  • honest and open
  • confident
  • respect others

People who find it difficult to make friends are sending out negative vibes.  They have some or all of the following characteristics:

  • shy, timid, unfriendly
  • uncaring
  • miserable
  • rarely smile
  • complain or criticize
  • don’t listen
  • boast about themselves
  • lack confidence
  • lack respect
  • aggressive, controlling
  • hard to get along with

If you want to have friends, you have to be a friend.  Think about what kind of vibes you are sending out to people.  Do you attract people or send them away?

It took me a long time to realize that I was sending out negative messages.  Being shy, having a fear of speaking to people and not liking myself was stopping me from having many friends.  My vibes were screaming, “Go away, I hate myself so you won’t want to be my friend”.  Of course I did attract occasional friends who had fears and insecurities and all this did was keep us all focused on our problems and we didn’t change.   When we live in our problems, we tend to attract people with the same problems and this doesn’t benefit us in any way.

Visit my website at www.imconfident.com and click on the bookstore page for more information on the Caterpillar to Butterfly Self-esteem workbook.  Or you can order directly by following the links:

If you are struggling with esteem issues and want to start sending out positive vibes, get started today on your journey.  It’s a new year and it can be a successful year!!

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The farmers almanac

The Farmers Almanac is a North American publication that has been around since 1818.  It is famous for its long-range weather predictions as well as interesting trivia, humour and advice on various topics.  Here is one of my favourite predictions……

farmers almanac HUMOUR

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Friendships are important

friends1We all need to have friends and this is especially important for children and teens.  Friends help children build confidence and develop their esteem.  Friends allow us to have better emotional, spiritual and physical health.  Friends teach us how to build good relationships and learn how to deal effectively with life situations.

Friends really matter, but it is also very important that we choose the right friends.  A good friend will help you but a bad friend will hurt you.  We all want people to like us and today with all the social media, it is easy to build a list of friends.  However, in our eagerness to have lots of friends, are we building friendships or potential problems?  It is better to have just 1 good friend, than to have 25 bad friends.

What is a good friend?  Think about each of your friends and ask the following 10 questions:

  1. Does your friend make you feel good about yourself?
  2. Can you trust your friend with your utmost secrets?
  3. Do you enjoy spending time with your friend?
  4. Does your friend encourage and support you?
  5. Does your friend talk with you and listen even when you don’t agree?
  6. Is your friend happy when something good happens to you?
  7. Does your friend stick up for you when other people are putting you down?
  8. Does your friend like you no matter what your weaknesses are?
  9. Is your friend there for you when you need help?
  10. You know that your friend never gossips about you?

If you can answer ‘yes’ to all the questions, then you probably have a good friend that you should keep.  If you answered ‘no’ to any of the questions, then you should really consider whether or not to continue on with the friendship.  Do this for each of your friends and it will help you determine whether they are a good friend or a bad friend.

Now, try this again by asking yourself the same questions.   Are you a good friend?   It works both ways in a friendship.  It is important that you have good friends, but you also must be a good friend.

It is important to be surrounded by positive people who lift you up, encourage you and support you.   Never surround yourself with negative people who pull you down, discourage you and make you feel bad.  Try working hard on developing a positive perspective by building your esteem and then you can be a positive influence on people who are struggling with negativity.

We should all be a good example to those around us by being a good friend to others and choosing good friends.   We should always treat each other with kindness and expect that others treat us the same way.

Do you have good friends?  Are you a good friend?  Are you teaching your children how to choose good friends?

 

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