imconfident

I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

Don’t stick your nose in other people’s business

A few days ago, there was an incident at my home that made me remember this phrase.  My daughter’s small dog, Maizie, was staying with us for a couple of days and she was out playing with our two dogs in the backyard.   Our smaller dog is always trying to put her nose and paws under the fence between our property and the next door neighbour, probably to tease the 2 dogs next door.  One of these dogs is big and scary and it growls and tries to bite our dog but thankfully the fence has stopped a disaster from happening.   I was working in the back yard when I heard our 2 small dogs and the big dog next door growling and barking.   Before I could see what was going on, I heard a loud scream from Maizie and I knew that the big dog had hurt her in some way.   As I ran to the fence, I realized she was caught by the big dog and trying hard to get loose.  Finally she broke away and ran over to me with blood dripping down her face.  I was panicking that part of her nose had been ripped off, but as she kept licking her wound, I could see that it was only a couple of small punctures.   Thankfully, it was just a minor incident, but it could have been worse.

The point I want to make is that we have to be careful what we stick our nose into.   We should always try to help someone if we see that they are struggling, but if a situation is out of control or dangerous, we should stop first and consider the best way to handle it.

  • If a friend is noticeably going through a difficult time, it can be helpful if we try to engage them in a conversation and just listen to what they say.   However, if they tell us they don’t want to discuss anything, we have to respect their wishes and let them deal with the situation on their own.
  • If we see someone who is being bullied, we should step in and firmly (not aggressively) help them stand up to the bully.  However if there are 3 bullies and one person being bullied, or they have weapons, we should call the authorities and wait close by in case we are able to help the bullied person.
  • If the family next door is always arguing, we don’t need to keep watching them and sharing what we see and hear with other people in gossip.  This isn’t really our business and we certainly wouldn’t want our personal arguments shared with anyone.  However if they seem to be hurting each other physically,  we should contact the appropriate authorities so they can get the help and protection they need.

It is human nature to want to know what is going on in other people’s lives, but it is not always our right.  Sometimes by sticking our nose into other people’s business it can do more harm than good.  Take each situation into careful consideration and determine what the outcome will be if you interfere in some way.  If you really think it will help, then give it a try.  If not, then leave it alone.

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More money but more depression?

Many people believe that money buys happiness.  If they could just get a better job and make more money than everything would be great in their lives.  If they just had a bigger house or more expensive car, they would be happy.  If they could take more vacations or buy whatever they dreamed of, life would be wonderful.

Well, if money could really buy happiness, why are so many wealthy people unhappy?  Isn’t it interesting that people have more money and possessions than ever in history, yet the percentage of depression is increasing and stress levels are on the rise.    Research shows time and time again that happiness does not depend on how much money we have.   Actually, many people who live in very poor countries have been found to have higher happiness levels and less depression that wealthy people.   Why?  Because they are thankful for what they have.

Being thankful and looking at life with a positive perspective is the only way to find happiness.  Happiness doesn’t depend on how much money we have, how many possessions we have or how many friends we have.  Happiness comes from within and we make the choice daily as to whether or not we will be happy or sad.

What are you thankful for?

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If you owned a pedigree dog, would you feed it french fries?

If you owned a special animal like a pedigree dog or race horse that was considered to have great value, how would you treat it?   Most people would take great care in feeding it healthy foods, keeping it well-groomed and making sure it got plenty of rest.  You certainly wouldn’t feed it junk food like french fries and chocolate bars.  You wouldn’t leave it standing in the rain and all covered with mud.  You wouldn’t keep it up late nights exercising or doing some kind of work.

Yet, how do we treat ourselves?  We fill our bodies with unhealthy foods, don’t always take time to care for our bodies and we fill our days with so many activities that we don’t have enough time for a proper night’s sleep.  Do we not consider ourselves as valuable?  For many of us, the answer is ‘no’.  We don’t treat ourselves as the special, unique and valuable person that we are.

We have to realize that we only get one body for life and it is very important that we take good care of it.  Eating healthy foods, exercising and getting proper rest is the key to having good health and maintaining a healthy body.  If we don’t take care of ourselves, we can end up with serious health issues as we grow older.

You are much more valuable than a pedigree dog, so start taking care of your health today!

 

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Think nobody likes you? Wrong!

Never assume people won’t like you.  There are literally millions of people in the world who wish they could have a friend just like you.  Research shows that about 75% or more of the world’s population is lonely and would love to have someone reach out and talk to them.   Like you, they also believe that nobody could possibly like them or want to be their friend.

If you lack confidence and have low esteem, it can be difficult to even try to talk to other people.  Fear of rejection can hold you back from taking that first step and initiating a conversation with someone you don’t know.  It takes courage to approach people but it is well worth the risk as most people will respond in a positive way.   Look around and find someone who seems lonely, smile and say hello.  If you have time, start a conversation.  Be friendly, ask them some basic questions.   It might just brighten their day and lessen the load they are carrying.

Of course, there is the possibility that some people will ignore you or reject you because they may feel so bad about themselves and have closed themselves off to forming any friendships at all.   Their negative response shouldn’t stop you from continuing to try to connect with people.   And there will always be people who won’t want to be your friend because of personality conflicts, jealousy or other issues.   You can never hope to win everyone’s approval.

So if you think that nobody likes you, you are wrong!  If you believe this, then you probably don’t like yourself and you are sending out negative vibes that tell people not to like you!

  • Learn how to build your confidence so you can feel comfortable initiating a conversation.
  • Increase your esteem so you will feel good about yourself.
  • Discover your strengths and abilities.
  • Be thankful for everything you have.
  • Say positive statements or affirmations every day.
  • Show love and kindness to everyone you meet.

When you feel good about yourself and send out positive vibes to other people, they will feel comfortable and enjoy being in your presence.   If you want to have friends, you have to be a friend.

If you would like more information on building confidence and increasing your esteem, visit my website at http://www.imconfident.com.

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The quiz that helps you find the right mate

It is really hard to find the right mate.  When we are first attracted to someone, we don’t always see their true character.  People are usually on their best behaviour when they are trying to impress someone, so there may be a lot of personal issues that are hidden from us.   This is why it is very important to get to know someone better before we commit to a lasting relationship.

As parents, we try to help our children make good choices when it comes to what they wear, how they act and what type of friends they should have.  We try to teach them how to distinguish between good and bad behaviour and how to set proper boundaries.

Whether you are a parent and trying to guide your children in the right direction or an adult who is trying to navigate through life yourself, there is actually a quiz that will help you determine if someone would really be a good mate.   The questions are found in 1 Corinthians Chapter 13 and they can apply to anyone of any faith or belief.

To use this as a quiz, just replace the word ‘love’ with the name of the person you are checking out.  If the statement is true about that person for each of the statements, then they are the perfect person and certainly a ‘keeper’.  However, since nobody is perfect, you won’t find anyone who will fit all these statements.   To pass this test, the person should be trying to live up to these guidelines for love, so use your judgement and if they don’t pass many of them or any at all, you should probably keep looking.

Here is an example for the first statement.   Sara is thinking about dating a boy named Philip.  She writes down the first statement….Philip is patient and kind, showing kindness to others.  So she thinks about what she wrote.  Is Philip patient and kind?  Wow, she remembers what happened a couple of days ago.  Philip was saying mean things about a new kid at school, pointing at him and calling him a loser.  That certainly wasn’t very kind.  And he certainly isn’t patient.  He pushed ahead of a couple of smaller kids in the food line because he didn’t want to wait. He always seems to be nice to me but I wonder if he will treat me the same way one day.  Now Sara goes on to the rest of the questions and the answers are opening her eyes to what Philip is really like.  Sara realizes that Philip doesn’t know what love means at all.  Now she has to make a decision as to whether she will stick with him and try to help him change or end the relationship before any problems start.

Try this quiz with your kids when they are starting to date.  Try it with yourself if you are looking for the right mate.

  1. love is patient and kind, showing goodness to others
  2. love is not jealous of other people, it is pleased when others are honoured
  3. love is not boastful or proud, it accepts what it has
  4. love is not rude, it honours others by being considerate and courteous
  5. love is not self-seeking. it is interested in assisting others
  6. love is not easily angered, it is willing to endure insults and nasty comments
  7. love keeps no record of wrongs, forgetting and forgiving what has been said or done
  8. love does not delight in evil, taking part in things that are wrong, instead rejoices in the truth
  9. love protects others by concealing or hiding the faults of others
  10. love trusts and tries to believe the best
  11. love hopes that all things will eventually work out for the best
  12. love perseveres, it never gives up
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