Turn your New Year’s Resolutions into Goals

What is a resolution?  The dictionary describes it with various terms:  a firm decision, solving a problem, finding solutions, improvements, a formal statement, a firmness of purpose, etc.   All these things may be good, but they are basically thoughts and not actions.  They are the beginnings of what could be great endings.  Everything starts with a thought but something needs to be done with those life-changing thoughts or they will never become reality.

This is the problem with making New Year Resolutions.  We start off the year with all sorts of ideas and plans which is really great but then we get bored, impatient or frustrated and we give up.  Life gets in the way and we keep on with our bad habits, struggling and feeling like we have failed until the next year rolls around.  Then we try again.

Change doesn’t come easily.  It takes patience, perseverance and planning.  Instead of just resolving to do something, we need to turn our resolutions into realistic goals that we can work towards.  The most important step in making change is writing down your thoughts.  Just leaving thoughts floating around in your head will rarely accomplish anything.

• write down all your amazing ideas and thoughts
• circle the 1-3 most important things you want to accomplish in the next year; don’t try to do too much or you will soon become stressed and not be able to keep going
• set up a plan to accomplish those things, breaking them down into small steps than can be easily be done every day or week
• every day, check off what you have done in order to accomplish your goals
• if you don’t succeed that day, don’t beat yourself up, just promise yourself you will do it the next day
• keep going even when you feel frustrated or defeated
• celebrate small victories as you go along
• get family and friends involved so they can encourage and support you
• review your goals and make necessary revisions if something is not working properly

If you stick to a WRITTEN PLAN, you sill soon seen some positive changes happening.  Be patient, be persistent and you will be victorious!

 

Do you make mountains out of molehills?

How often do you make a big deal out of nothing or turn a minor issue into a major issue or exaggerate something way out of proportion? Often our daily problems seem a lot bigger and more important than they really are. Life can be so complicated that we end up wasting a large amount of time dealing with things that are unnecessary and have little value in our lives.

When problems arise, we need to stop and ask ourselves a few questions so we can determine which problems need to be addressed and which ones need to be dismissed.

1) Does this really matter to my life right now and should I take the time needed to address it?
2) Will my reaction to this issue impact anyone else in a positive way?
3) Will this issue matter at all tomorrow, next week, next month or next year?

If the answer is a definite ‘Yes“, then it should be addressed. If the answer is ‘No” or ‘I’m not sure,” it should probably be dismissed at least for the time being. When we make a big deal out of everything that happens, we risk having a breakdown in communication with others and the possibility of bigger problems to deal with.

If we can develop a habit of stopping to think before we react in any situation, we can have a happier, more peaceful life. Everything that happens is not that important and we can just let it go. It isn’t that easy but if I can do it, so can you.

Is our food killing us?

Do you ever stop to think about what you eat?  We all know that foods high in sugar, salt and fat are not healthy but did you know that some of the so-called healthy foods are actually poisoning our bodies?  A lot of our foods today are highly processed and our meat comes from animals that are raised in small unhealthy areas, forced to eat food that is not natural for them and given hormones and antibiotics.  We are eating foods that can cause numerous health problems such as:

• obesity
• heart disease
• stroke
• alzheimers
• allergies
• autism
• learning disabilities
• autoimmune disorders
• some cancers
• osteoarthritis
• diabetes

Companies spend billions of dollars each year pressuring us to spend more money on fast food, prepared food and unhealthy products just so they can make money.  Obesity is growing rapidly, especially in children and we need to start paying attention to what we are eating and feeding our families.

We need to start developing a habit of eating healthy, whole foods like fresh vegetables and fruits, more fibre, foods that are low in salt and fat and meat/meat products that come from farms where animals are pasture-raised, grass-fed and free from chemicals.  We should also avoid sugar and sweeteners and use honey instead.

Eating fast, frozen or prepared foods may make our busy lives easier but as we age, our health will undoubtedly deteriorate and we will suffer in one way or another.  Better to take the time and prepare healthy foods while we are still in good health and have the ability to work at keeping fit.

Until I had my second stroke, I never really paid a lot of attention to what I ate.  I tried eating things in moderation but I didn’t really know how harmful the foods were that I was eating.  After doing lots of research, I have totally changed the way I eat and I also do regular exercise.    There are lots of books on dieting but you really need to be careful what you are reading and look for those with common sense and not just empty promises.   In my book, “Grandma’s Notes on Healthy Eating”, I have summarized what I have gained from several really good books.  One of the best books that changed my view on eating is by Dr Caroline Leaf, “Think and Eat Yourself Smart”.  She shows how food affects our brain and our bodies.

Since changing my diet and adding regular exercise, I feel so much better.  I still go out for a burger and fries on occasion or have a sweet treat but I don’t do it on a regular basis.  Maintaining a healthy weight requires a lot of hard work and patience but once you set some healthy habits it will benefit your health in so many ways.

Stop dieting and start losing weight

Most people approach dieting in the wrong way.  Once we realize that we have gained a few pounds too many, we search for quick and easy answers.  The problem with this is that we didn’t gain weight overnight and we can’t lose it in a few weeks or months.  There is NO quick fix and anyone who promises this is just leading you down the wrong path.

When you look at losing weight by counting calories or watching the scales, you are defeating yourself because this is a negative approach to dieting.  In fact, stats show that about 90% of everyone who diets will fail.  This is certainly not an encouraging fact but people keep trying over and over again in the hopes that something magic will happen.

Instead of focusing on a diet plan, we need to focus on healthy eating combined with regular exercise.  This is a positive approach and one that is far more likely to succeed.  In my second book of the Grandma’s Notes series, I have written a short, easy-to-read book on the healthy way to lose weight.  It is a practical, logical and realistic way that has worked for me.  Check out my bookstore at http://www.imconfident.com or go right to the Blurb bookstore.

 

Stop making those new year’s resolutions

Why do we make New Year’s resolutions?  Because we know that our lives are in chaos, that changes need to be made and deep down we want to be a better person.  The problem is – we don’t keep those resolutions and we slip back into old habits again.  Why does this happen?

When we make a resolution, it is trying to change something that is superficial.  We want to lose weight so we start dieting or exercising.  We want to quit smoking or another bad habit so we promise ourselves that we will stop.  We want to get our houses cleaned up so we try to sort and organize.  We want to stop spending more money than we make and we try to follow a budget.  But this is just the tip of the iceberg.  There is something deeper going on that we should be addressing.  We should ask ourselves why we are doing the thing we don’t want to do.

• Why are we gaining weight?
• Why are we smoking?
• Why are we biting our nails?
• Why is our house so cluttered?
• Why do we spend too much money on things we don’t need?
• Why do we have this bad habit?

We need to check deep inside ourselves and figure out what is causing the problem in the first place.  Is there a relationship issue that needs to be resolved?  Is there an emotional issue that requires professional help?  Do we need an attitude adjustment?  Do we lack the confidence needed to make positive changes?  Do we have supportive people who can give us the push we need to move ahead?

Making change is difficult and we need to understand who we are and why we do the things we do before we can make any lasting changes.  Forget those New Year’s resolutions that you won’t likely keep.  Spend time doing some searching and making positive changes.

 

Learn how to fail successfully

We all fail.  This is inevitable.  If we didn’t fail, we wouldn’t be human.  So why do we feel so bad when we fail?

Basically we are programmed to feel bad.  Society makes us think that we need to be perfect in order to succeed in life.   We are led to believe that mistakes are bad and perfection is good.  However, this is wrong.  We are all imperfect and we all make mistakes and there is absolutely nothing wrong with this!

We are taught to value what people think of us more that what we think of ourselves.  Actually we shouldn’t care what people think as long we know that we are being a good person and doing the right thing.  Just try to be a better person today than you were yesterday and stop worrying about what people think.

We are taught that winning is more important than losing.  Well someone has to lose, we can’t all win.  So instead of feeling bad for ourselves when we lose, we should be happy for those who win and congratulate them.  Winning is not all it’s cracked up to be.  People who are obsessed with winning are angry, impatient and unhappy.  What a horrible way to go through life!

We are taught to be the first in line.  Everyone can’t be first so why should the rest of us feel bad?  This is ridiculous.  If you are the 35th person, just be patient and enjoy where you are.   If you studied hard for a test and did your best but just barely passed, don’t feel like you aren’t as good as the ones who got top marks.  There is no shame in doing your best.  Just be proud of your accomplishments and don’t compare yourself to other people.

We are taught that being rejected is bad.  The fact is that someone will always reject you.  It could be a friend, a family member, a boss, maybe someone you don’t even know.  You can’t win the love of everyone in the world so stop letting it make you feel bad.  People are people and they will hurt you.  This doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you and it certainly doesn’t make you a failure.

Many people go through life feeling like a failure because they have faulty beliefs.   They think there is something wrong with them and this isn’t true.  Everyone fails.  This is how we learn.  Mistakes are just opportunities to learn and we can do this with great success if we keep our mind open.

When you feel like a failure, here are 10 things to focus on:

1. Tell yourself you are NOT a failure.  Stop your thoughts dead in their tracks.  Don’t allow yourself to zone in on those negative thoughts and beliefs.
2. Challenge your thoughts.  Ask yourself, “Why do I feel like a failure?  Did I do something wrong or did someone tell me I did something wrong?  Where are these thoughts coming from?
3. Change your focus to positive thoughts.  Negative thinking is a bad habit.  Consciously be aware of what you are saying and change any negative thoughts to positive thoughts.  “I made a mistake this time but I’m going to try harder next time.” “I was wrong but I can do better.”
4. Take action.  Write down your thoughts and determine what you can do to avoid making the same mistake again.   Make a plan that take you in a different direction.  Create some goals.
5. Do research.  There are tons of books, articles and videos about successful people who have struggled with failure.  Listen to what they did to overcome the obstacles in their life and try doing what they did to become successful.
6. Look for the positive people in your life.  The people you hang out with will make a huge impact on your life.  Surround yourself with family and friends who are loving and supportive.  They will help you through your struggles and encourage you to keep going.
7. Learn lessons from your mistakes.  There is a lesson to be learned from every mistake you made.  You have the choice to stay stuck in your mistakes and feel like a failure or you can move ahead and use that mistake as a learning tool.
8. Never give up.  Failing doesn’t make you a failure.  Giving up makes you a failure.  So NEVER give up. Every successful person in this world was a failure at some point but they never gave up.   YOU can be that successful failure.  Create your own story of success and share it with others!

Can’t Won’t Shouldn’t

How often do you say these negative words?  I can’t….  I won’t….  I shouldn’t.  You can fill in the blank but I’m sure you will catch yourself saying these words if you pay attention to what you are thinking and what comes out of your mouth.

• I can’t help that I am feeling depressed.
• I won’t try to do that because it will make me look stupid.
• I shouldn’t be here because I don’t know anything.

Many times we say things that are causing us to think negatively and we don’t even realize it.  We say words that are defeating and discouraging.  Our brains are wired to have a negative bias, so unless we work hard to become more positive in our thinking, we will become stuck in a bad habit that will have a negative effect on our lives.

Try changing the way you talk to yourself.  Take a look at the above examples reworded:

• I feel depressed but I CAN try to change the way I think.
• I feel stupid but I WILL try my best and if I fail, I will try again.
• I don’t think I know much but I SHOULD be here because I want to learn and grow.

Which set of statements push you forward and which drag you down?  If we convince ourselves that we are unable to do something or change the way we feel, there is a 100% chance that we will stay stuck in a pattern of negative thinking.  However, if we change the words we use and develop a positive perspective, we have much better chance of something good happening.

 

Take care of yourself!

Our health is very important.  If we don’t take care of ourselves, we can easily develop major health issues that will affect everything in our lives.

We should try to eat healthy foods, exercise regularly, get proper sleep and eliminate any negative stresses.  This isn’t easy in a world that promotes fast food and a fast life.  We fill our lives with so many activities that we are too busy to cook healthy meals, go for a leisurely walk or get to bed at a reasonable hour.  The sad thing is, we believe that our value is found in how much we can accomplish in a day and we keep adding more and more stress until we reach a point where our health fails.

My own lifestyle was certainly not the healthiest.  I didn’t really watch what I ate, I exercised very little and my sleeping patterns were terrible.  Stress was a huge part of my life and I kept driving myself to do more that I could handle.   Having a stroke was not something I expected at this stage of my life.  On a positive note, it has changed my thinking and I have no choice but to take care of myself.

Here are some healthy habits that you should incorporate into your lifestyle:

• Eat a diet that is low-sodium, low-sugar and low-fat.  Lots of vegetables and fruits are important.  Never eat on the rush, take time to enjoy your food.  Frozen and prepared foods along with fast foods are unhealthy so try to cook at home as much as possible.  Eating healthy is a good habit to get your family and yourself into.
• Exercise a minimum of 30 minutes or more each day.   If you have an active job, this really doesn’t count.  Join a gym or exercise club.   Walking is the cheapest and most effective exercise.  Get a walking buddy and support each other.  I’ve been walking with my husband every day and it is benefiting both of us!
• Go to bed at the same time every night and get up at the same time.  Of course, there will be times when events or activities get in the way but that’s okay.  As long as you develop a habit that works most of the time.
• Try to eliminate as much stress as you can.  Positive stresses like getting ready for a exciting event are great but negative stresses will just drag you down.  Think about what is important and what isn’t important.  Spend less time with people who stress you out.  Cut down on your to-do list and make sure you add some quiet time each day.

You are an important person and you need to take care of yourself.  Don’t wait until something happens.  Start today!

Do you have damaged emotions?

We have all been hurt at one time or another.  Being hurt is unavoidable and just a normal part of life.  The problem is, many of us have difficulty processing our hurts in a positive way and our emotions become badly damaged.  It is important that we address our hurts and deal with them so they can’t continue to cause pain in our lives.

Here are some steps we can take to heal any damaged emotions:

1. Face your problems dead on.  If you try to avoid them, deny them or hide them, it won’t work.  Pushing the pain away may temporarily relieve the pain, but in the long run, the hurt will keep coming back.  Take an honest look at what happened and talk to someone you can trust.
2. Take responsibility for what happened.  Be totally honest with yourself.  Did you play any part in what happened?  Most of the time, there can be blame placed on both sides.  How did you respond?  Did you show anger or did you try to understand the situation?
3. Ask yourself if you really want your damaged emotions to heal.  Sometimes people use their problems to get attention and to make other people feel sorry for them.   They get stuck in a bad habit and become comfortable struggling with their problems.  This is really not a good way to live as it never allows any possibility of peace or happiness.
4. In order to heal, you must be forgiving.  First you need to forgive the people who hurt you.  This does not mean that you are telling them it is okay for them to hurt you because it was certainly not okay at all, it means that you are giving up the hold they have on you.  As long as you have unforgiveness for a person, you are tied to them and they can continue to hurt you over and over again.   Tell the person you forgive them for hurting you and then forgive yourself and move on.

Think before you speak

How many times have you said something that you wished you hadn’t?

How many times have critical or complaining words have tumbled out of your mouth?

How many times have you expressed anger that hurt someone else?

How many times have you belittled or torn down another person?

How many times have you spread gossip that wasn’t entirely true?

Just think about it.  You have probably spoken thousands of negative, critical, angry, hurtful words that had the potential to hurt many people.  Our words have such powerful effects!

We should always be careful with our words and think before we speak.  Our thoughts often come to us without warning and if don’t pay attention to what we are thinking and stop any negative thoughts from being processed into negative words, we can do a lot of damage to the lives of others and also ourselves.  Careless words can result in misunderstanding, miscommunication and cause problems in our relationships.

Before you speak:

• think carefully about what you are saying
• be consciously aware of any negative thoughts
• stop those negative thoughts
  • picture a stop sign, take a few deep breaths, count to 10
  • focus on something positive
  • say positive statements
  • write your thoughts in a journal or type them into your phone
• gather your thoughts and say something positive
• if you do say something negative, apologize before the situation gets worse

You do have the power to control your thoughts.  You don’t have to keep every negative thought that pops into your head.  Get rid of those negative thoughts and create a habit of positive thinking.  Believe me it does work!  All it takes is continual practice.