imconfident

I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

Don’t be a copy of someone else

I’m sure you have heard the quote, “You were born an original, don’t die a copy.”  How well are you following this good advice?

Most of us spend our lives trying to be like someone else instead of being the best version of ourselves that we can be.  As small children, we look to our parents and want to be just like them when we grow up.  When we go to school we look to our friends and other schoolmates, trying to imitate their appearance and behaviours.  Then as an adult we see people who are successful and we try to model their lives.

We all want to be loved and accepted but we believe that we don’t have the qualities necessary to succeed, so we try to copy other people.  The sad fact is, that the people we admire most have just as many flaws and imperfections as we do, but we don’t see them.  We need to realize that we are all unique individuals with special talents and abilities.

Have you been successful in fulfilling your own dreams and reaching your own goals?  Or have you just fulfilled someone else’s dreams and reached someone else’s goals?  This is certainly not the way to find a happy and rewarding life.

Don’t try to be somebody else.  Just be the awesome person you were created to be!   Be confident in yourself!  Believe in yourself!  There is only 1 of you – 1 special you!!!  YOU ARE AN ORIGINAL!

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Have a date with your kid

My husband and I were sitting in a local coffee shop enjoying a coffee when a man came in with his young daughter.  He ordered tea and cookies and then sat down, taking off their coats and waiting for their order.  When the order was ready, the dad went to pick up a teapot, 2 cups, 2 plates and a bag with cookies.  He poured the tea and put the cookies on the plates.  Then they proceeded to have their tea party.  It was obvious that they were having a great time with all the smiles and conversation.  This dad sure knew how to treat a lady and was showing his daughter how special she was.

Going on a date is a great experience and it brings people closer together.  When we are young, it is exciting to have someone ask us to go for dinner, a movie or even just a walk in the park.   Then when we get into a serious relationship or get married, dating can sometimes take a back burner because we are too busy working or doing other things.  However, we should always take the time to plan a date so we can relax, de-stress and keep our relationships strong.

Dating is also a great idea when you have kids.  One-on-one time between a parent and child is a valuable learning experience and it will keep the lines of communication open.  When a father dates a daughter or a mother dates a son, it shows them how valuable they are and they will learn how to treat a future spouse and friends of the opposite sex.

February is a time when people think about love.  Why not show love to your kids and plan a date with them?  Then plan a date night with your spouse or a friend and strengthen your relationships!

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Countdown to Christmas! Do you have all your gifts ready?

Christmas is only 2 days away.  Do you have all your gifts ready?  I don’t mean those shiny, expensive things wrapped and sitting under the tree.  I mean all the important things like:

  • the gift of love for your family and friends
  • the gift of forgiveness for everyone you know, NOT just those who are nice to you
  • the gift of sharing everything you have with others
  • the gift of compassion for those who are in a dark, unhappy place
  • the gift of time to spend with others, creating awesome new memories
  • the gift of serving by doing something helpful for someone else
  • the gift of conversation and taking time to sit and listen

These gifts don’t put a dent in your finances but they are worth far more than anything money can buy.  Life can be full of happiness when you show love to others through your actions.  Spread joy around this year by searching inside for those wonderful gifts you already have and share them with your loved ones.

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Stop dieting and start losing weight

Most people approach dieting in the wrong way.  Once we realize that we have gained a few pounds too many, we search for quick and easy answers.  The problem with this is that we didn’t gain weight overnight and we can’t lose it in a few weeks or months.  There is NO quick fix and anyone who promises this is just leading you down the wrong path.

When you look at losing weight by counting calories or watching the scales, you are defeating yourself because this is a negative approach to dieting.  In fact, stats show that about 90% of everyone who diets will fail.  This is certainly not an encouraging fact but people keep trying over and over again in the hopes that something magic will happen.

Instead of focusing on a diet plan, we need to focus on healthy eating combined with regular exercise.  This is a positive approach and one that is far more likely to succeed.  In my second book of the Grandma’s Notes series, I have written a short, easy-to-read book on the healthy way to lose weight.  It is a practical, logical and realistic way that has worked for me.  Check out my bookstore at http://www.imconfident.com or go right to the Blurb bookstore.

 

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Do you compare yourself to others?

Many of us play the comparison game.  You know the game where you are always looking at other people and wishing you had their lives, their family, their house, their possessions, their looks, their money, their job and whatever else they have that you don’t have.  It is natural for us to look to others and see what they have but when we start comparing our lives with their lives, we almost always come up short.

The problem with this game is that we can become trapped in a negative mindset of bitterness, resentment and unhappiness.  We strive to become like other people and gain what they have at great cost to ourselves.  We live frustrated and  unfulfilled lives. not even realizing that it is a losing battle.

If we could see into the lives of those people we compare ourselves to, we would be surprised to see that they are also comparing themselves to others and wishing for something they didn’t have.  People who have lots of money are often lonely because they put money ahead of their personal relationships and have distanced themselves from family and friends.  People who have more possessions are often in debt and are struggling to pay their bills.  People who have better jobs often hate their work and wish they could do something else.

There will always be someone who is richer, smarter and better looking than we are.  We should celebrate our own strengths and abilities and look to others for inspiration and motivation.   We were created as unique individuals and we should never compare ourselves to others because this is a game we can never win and we will always feel empty.

Instead of comparing ourselves to people who have more than we do, we should compare ourselves to people in the world that have less than we do and be thankful for what we have.  Almost half the world lives on less than $3 day, many of them jobless, homeless and hungry.  It is sad that we want to have what other people have when we have so much already.  Being thankful is a great positive habit to develop and the only way to win the comparison game.  When we think about others instead of ourselves, we will find true happiness and peace.

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Are there S..words in your words?

Are your words sharp and cutting?  Do they hurt people?  Are they critical and harsh?  If you aren’t careful with your words, they can be like swords and cut right into the heart of another person.

Many of us go through life not even knowing the effect of our words.  We have to really listen to ourselves and hear what is coming out of our mouths.  Then we have to try to stop any words that are negative and hurtful.  Our words come from our thoughts and we can’t stop our negative thinking but we CAN stop speaking negative words.

It is a choice as to what we say to others and ourselves.  Just as when we pour coffee into a cup, we can also pour dirty water into a cup.  It is the same for our words.  We can pour out our negative thoughts and create pain or we can pour out positive thoughts and create possibilities.   Negative words can tear down and discourage.  Positive words can lift up and encourage.

We have the power to change our words.  All we have to do is create a habit of positive thinking.  It takes time and effort but if we are consciously aware of our thoughts, we CAN change.  When those negative thoughts come floating into our heads, we can stop ourselves from letting them become negative words.  Challenge those thoughts; change them into something positive or just let them float away and say nothing.

Are there s..words in your words?  Stop using your words to hurt and start using your words to heal.

 

 

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You can be alone AND happy on Valentine’s Day!

We all need love and the purpose of Valentine’s Day is to share our love with each other.  Unfortunately, some people are alone at this time of year, either by choice or circumstance.  They may be dealing with a failed relationship, the loss of family members or a move to a new location.  Whatever the reason, some people find themselves without someone who can give them love or receive love and this can result in feelings of loneliness, unhappiness, unworthiness and even failure.

Society certainly doesn’t make it easy for anyone to enjoy the day without feeling that something is missing.   Big red hearts and advertising are everywhere.  But you don’t have to feel lonely and sad on Valentine’s Day.  You can celebrate the day by looking at things with a different perspective.  Here are some ideas:

  • First, realize that this is just another day.  It is nice to be reminded about love because we don’t always take time in our everyday busy lives to even think about it, but we shouldn’t just focus on one day to show our love for others.  Take this day to think about the people in your life who could use some love – family, friends, co-workers, neighbours – and consider how you can show some kindness to them.  Actually sit down and make a list of things you could do throughout the year to make their lives better.
  • Call someone you haven’t talked to for a while.  Is there a family member that you haven’t communicated with recently.  What about an estranged friend?  If you live close by, invite them to meet you for coffee.  Maybe they are as lonely as you are.
  • Celebrate the day on your own and enjoy your own company.  You really don’t have to be a couple on Valentine’s Day!  This is just something that we are led to believe that isn’t true.  There is nothing wrong with being alone sometimes.  People who are super-busy with family and work would love to trade places with you for a few days and have some peace and quiet.   Read a good book or watch a movie.  Do something you like!  Or take a nice walk and enjoy the beautiful scenery.
  • Buy yourself a Valentine gift.  Yes, you can indulge yourself in a box of chocolates or candies.  Just don’t go overboard and spend too much money or overeat those sweets.  Get some colourful flowers to brighten your kitchen table.  There is nothing wrong with being good to yourself.   We are all special and we should be nice to ourselves as well as others.

Keep in mind that many people who buy gifts for their loved ones are just doing it because it is expected and not because they are showing their love.  Soon after Valentine’s Day is over, the love is gone and they have gone back to their old habits of being inconsiderate and unkind.  Showing love for just one day is so unimportant, showing love everyday is what is important.

YOU can be alone and happy on Valentine’s Day.  It is all a matter of perspective.  Don’t be upset if you are alone for this one day of the year.  There are 364 more days coming where you can work on building some great relationships.  YOU can be the Valentine in someone’s life every day of the year.  Be the person who is able to love and accept themselves for who they are and pass that love on to other people.

So what are you doing on Valentine’s Day?

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What does love mean to you?

February is the month when we are reminded to love each other.  We see Valentine cards, candy, flowers and all sorts of advertising that penetrate your thoughts with ideas of love.  Even if we are angry or upset with our loved ones, we often overlook these things for a short period of time to bring them gifts or give them a much-needed hug.

So why do we need something to remind us that we should be showing love to others?  We should be walking in love every day of the year, not just Valentine’s day.

Love is powerful and it has a positive effect on ourselves and others.  Love is the glue that can hold families and friendships together.  Love allows us to help other people and this creates a feeling of happiness for everyone.

Let’s start our love walk today!  Let’s start showing kindness to everyone we meet.  Let’s start a kindness ripple in the world.  Are you walking in love?  Are you putting the needs of others before your own?

Love is patient, love is kind………….

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Patience is a virtue

When we plant a garden, we place tiny seeds into the ground and then we wait for something wonderful to happen.  During that time of waiting we water those seeds to make sure they get proper nourishment.  As they grow, we pull out any weeds that may hinder growth and do any necessary pruning.  The end result is a beautiful garden, full of colourful flowers and plants.

But do we have the same patience in our lives as we do when we plant a garden?  Do we wait for things to happen?  Do we take care of our health with the proper nourishment?  Do we try to remove anything that is causing a bad influence or inflicting pain?  The answer is ‘NO’.  We don’t take care of ourselves with as much care because we lack patience.

Society pressures us to want things NOW.  We learn early in life that we need to be surrounded with lots of stuff and spend money on whatever we want because we deserve it.  So what happens?  We spend lots of money believing that we will find happiness and all this does is put us in debt and results in misery.

Patience is a virtue.  It is the ability to wait for something without getting angry or upset.   Learning to be patient is a process that takes time and effort but it is well worth the effort.   Life would be a lot less stressful and we would be a lot happier if we could just learn to be patient.   

Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.
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Stop making those new year’s resolutions

Why do we make New Year’s resolutions?  Because we know that our lives are in chaos, that changes need to be made and deep down we want to be a better person.  The problem is – we don’t keep those resolutions and we slip back into old habits again.  Why does this happen?

When we make a resolution, it is trying to change something that is superficial.  We want to lose weight so we start dieting or exercising.  We want to quit smoking or another bad habit so we promise ourselves that we will stop.  We want to get our houses cleaned up so we try to sort and organize.  We want to stop spending more money than we make and we try to follow a budget.  But this is just the tip of the iceberg.  There is something deeper going on that we should be addressing.  We should ask ourselves why we are doing the thing we don’t want to do.

  • Why are we gaining weight?
  • Why are we smoking?
  • Why are we biting our nails?
  • Why is our house so cluttered?
  • Why do we spend too much money on things we don’t need?
  • Why do we have this bad habit?

We need to check deep inside ourselves and figure out what is causing the problem in the first place.  Is there a relationship issue that needs to be resolved?  Is there an emotional issue that requires professional help?  Do we need an attitude adjustment?  Do we lack the confidence needed to make positive changes?  Do we have supportive people who can give us the push we need to move ahead?

Making change is difficult and we need to understand who we are and why we do the things we do before we can make any lasting changes.  Forget those New Year’s resolutions that you won’t likely keep.  Spend time doing some searching and making positive changes.

 

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