imconfident

I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

Are you competing with people or against people?

The world is always pressuring us to compete against others and that winning is the most important thing.  How does this affect us?  Does it make us better or does it make us feel like failures?  Competition is a good thing, it allows us to measure ourselves with others and see where we need to improve.  The problem is we are competing against people and not with people.   Society is obsessed with winning and leads us to believe that if we lose, we are failures and have no value.

The fact is we can’t all win; someone has to lose but this does not make us a loser or a failure.  Competing with others should be a time to enjoy being with others who have the same interests, share ideas and celebrate with the person who does win.  Competition can be a good learning tool that will help us measure how we are doing and let us become a better version of ourselves.

Social media especially makes us feel bad because it always points out the people who are the most beautiful, the most successful, the most powerful;  the people who have it all and have everything we want.  Sadly most of these people are also the most miserable because money and power does not make people happy and it really doesn’t really measure success.  In my opinion, success is achieved when you feel that you have done everything in your power to be the best person you can be and you are satisfied with your life.

When someone wins a game and the rest lose, everyone loses.  However, when someone wins and everyone supports each other, everyone wins.  Instead of competing against others, try competing with them to achieve your goals.  Be a positive influence and show others the importance of working together to become stronger and smarter.

Winning doesn’t always mean being first.  Winning means you’re doing better than you’ve ever done before.  Bonnie Blair

A winner is someone who recognizes his God-given talents, works his tail off to develop them into skills, and uses these skills to accomplish his goals.  Larry Bird

Competing at the highest level is not about winning.  It’s about preparation, courage, understanding and nurturing your people and heart.  Winning is the result.  Joe Torre

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Turn your New Year’s Resolutions into Goals

What is a resolution?  The dictionary describes it with various terms:  a firm decision, solving a problem, finding solutions, improvements, a formal statement, a firmness of purpose, etc.   All these things may be good, but they are basically thoughts and not actions.  They are the beginnings of what could be great endings.  Everything starts with a thought but something needs to be done with those life-changing thoughts or they will never become reality.

This is the problem with making New Year Resolutions.  We start off the year with all sorts of ideas and plans which is really great but then we get bored, impatient or frustrated and we give up.  Life gets in the way and we keep on with our bad habits, struggling and feeling like we have failed until the next year rolls around.  Then we try again.

Change doesn’t come easily.  It takes patience, perseverance and planning.  Instead of just resolving to do something, we need to turn our resolutions into realistic goals that we can work towards.  The most important step in making change is writing down your thoughts.  Just leaving thoughts floating around in your head will rarely accomplish anything.

  • write down all your amazing ideas and thoughts
  • circle the 1-3 most important things you want to accomplish in the next year; don’t try to do too much or you will soon become stressed and not be able to keep going
  • set up a plan to accomplish those things, breaking them down into small steps than can be easily be done every day or week
  • every day, check off what you have done in order to accomplish your goals
  • if you don’t succeed that day, don’t beat yourself up, just promise yourself you will do it the next day
  • keep going even when you feel frustrated or defeated
  • celebrate small victories as you go along
  • get family and friends involved so they can encourage and support you
  • review your goals and make necessary revisions if something is not working properly

If you stick to a WRITTEN PLAN, you sill soon seen some positive changes happening.  Be patient, be persistent and you will be victorious!

 

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Don’t let your past weigh you down

Past regrets are a heavy burden.  They can weigh you down and destroy any chance of having a happy, fruitful life.  Don’t allow the past to hold you back and keep you from moving forward in life.  Forgive people for hurting you, loving them is far more important than holding grudges about something that is over and done with.  And stop worrying about the future; most of the things we worry about never happen anyway.  Regret and worry just rob us of the joy and peace that we could be experiencing today.  When things are difficult, love harder, encourage others and be supportive.

This is the day which the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.  Psalm 118:24

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I AM SICK OF POLITICS!

I try not to listen to the news because it rarely is about anything good, especially when politics are the topic.  This week was no exception.  I heard Prime Minister Trudeau apologizing for something he should NEVER have apologized for because he really did nothing wrong.  He dressed up in fun and I could see nothing ‘racist’ about his behaviour.  Every year tons of people, including myself, dress up for Halloween, painting their faces black, white, yellow, purple, green and various other colours to become their favourite hero, an actor or someone famous.  Are these people being racist?  What about people who make movies and dress up to play the part of another nationality?  Racism?  What about kids who just like to dress up when they play to have fun?  Racism?  Come on people.  If you were hurt by these pics, then you have some very serious identity issues.

Racism is wrong.  Hatred is wrong.  Evil is wrong.  We see real examples of racism every day and we need to address the real problems, not waste time on non-issues like this.  Nobody should ever hurt another human being for any reason.  We should all work hard to lift each other up with our words and actions and when we fail, we should apologize.

These photos were conveniently dug up to make Trudeau look bad just before an election.  The person who did this has way to much time on their hands and if they truly care about racism, they should be spending their time with organizations that actually work hard to help people in these situations.

Instead of saying someone is “running for election“, they should more aptly say that they are “running around trying to find something bad to say about the other parties“.  I am really sick of listening to parties running each other down and digging up stuff in their past.   We can look into almost anyone’s past and find something to make them look bad if we try hard enough.  We all do things we are not proud of, but unless they are affecting the people around us in our present life, they are not worth addressing.  Purposely destroying another human being is wrong and this is just as bad as racism.

Politics should be about different parties that consist of people with integrity and honesty, bringing the best leader possible in front of the country.   Parties should be spending their time researching ways to benefit the country and how they can make things better instead of looking for garbage that is destructive.  Leaders should be telling us what they can do for us and not what the other party can’t!

The world is in sad shape and we need responsible leaders.  Where are they?  I am still looking……….

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WHO is teaching your children?

As our children grow, they learn from everyone and everything around them.  They see and hear all sorts of things that catch their attention and they will try to imitate many of them.  When they are seeing and hearing positive things, it is a good thing and this will have a positive effect on their lives.  However, many of the things they hear and see are not very positive and could have a devastating effect on their lives.

Parents should be the main teacher for their children and be providing them with a positive example to follow.  However,  many parents today do not spend a lot of time with their children due to a busy schedule or lack of awareness in how to parent a child properly, and their children are left to finding guidance in other ways.  This could be from other family members or friends who may or may not be the best teachers.  Some children are left a lot in the hands of the TV or Media babysitter, who will certainly teach your children to be selfish, disrespectful, greedy and to expect the world to give them whatever they desire.  Is this the kind of child you want??  Is this the kind of child the world needs??  Of course not!!

We need to teach our children to be kind, loving and to respect other people so they will become responsible and confident adults.  Children want to communicate with their parents and to spend time with them.   If we are too busy to teach our children, they will learn from someone or something else.

So, WHO is teaching your children?

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Countdown to Christmas! Do you have all your gifts ready?

Christmas is only 2 days away.  Do you have all your gifts ready?  I don’t mean those shiny, expensive things wrapped and sitting under the tree.  I mean all the important things like:

  • the gift of love for your family and friends
  • the gift of forgiveness for everyone you know, NOT just those who are nice to you
  • the gift of sharing everything you have with others
  • the gift of compassion for those who are in a dark, unhappy place
  • the gift of time to spend with others, creating awesome new memories
  • the gift of serving by doing something helpful for someone else
  • the gift of conversation and taking time to sit and listen

These gifts don’t put a dent in your finances but they are worth far more than anything money can buy.  Life can be full of happiness when you show love to others through your actions.  Spread joy around this year by searching inside for those wonderful gifts you already have and share them with your loved ones.

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Which child feels more loved?

This is a story about 2 little girls called Sarah and Sally.  Their parents love both of them dearly but one of them doesn’t feel very loved.  After reading this story, you can decide which one I am talking about.

Sarah is 9 years old and is a very easy-going child.  She is bright and attentive and likes to help the rest of the family.  Sally is 8 years old and is a very active and curious child.  She is always trying new things and gets very frustrated when they don’t work out as she expected.

Here is an example of what happens on a school morning.  Mom calls both of the girls to get up and get dressed.  In about 10 minutes, Sarah comes downstairs all dressed and ready to go.  Her mom butters her toast and asks if her sister is up.  “No, I haven’t heard her moving around yet”, Sarah replies.

Mom has to leave for work soon, so she runs upstairs to Sally’s room.  “Sally get up now.  You are going to be late again!”  Sally sits up in bed and rubs her eyes.  10 minutes later, she drags herself to the kitchen table.   ‘My goodness Sally!  Did you sleep in your clothes?  Why can’t you look neat and tidy like your sister.  Go upstairs now and put on a clean blouse.  And hurry up or you won’t have time for breakfast!”

Finally Sally comes down looking fairly nice, grabs a piece of toast and sits down.  “Sally, put on your shoes while you are eating.  The school bus will be here in a few minutes.  Your sister is already waiting on the porch.”

Which sister do you think left the house feeling loved?

It is pretty obvious.  The mother feels frustrated at her one child and rightly so.  But a little patience and encouragement would have helped the situation a lot better and created a positive environment for the children and the mother.  Comparing children is a really bad idea and it will create bad feelings between them.  All children are different and should be treated with respect.

What could the mother have done that would have had better results?

  • Instead of yelling at the child who has difficulty getting up, mom could have just come into her room and gently woke her up with a “Good morning, see you downstairs in a few minutes.”
  • Instead of getting angry with the rumpled clothing, mom could have said, “I think your blouse needs to be washed, it looks a bit dirty.   Why don’t you drop it in the clothes hamper and run up to your room and grab a clean one from your closet”.
  • Instead of pointing out that her (perfect) sister Sarah was all ready and waiting for the bus, mom could have said, “Can you quickly put on your shoes while eating your toast and then join your sister on the porch, please?”

It is difficult to watch what we say to our children, especially when we feel tired and stressed.  However, our words can have a terrible effect on our children if we aren’t careful and we can get stuck in a habit of negatively talking all the time.

Developing a habit of positive self-talk takes a lot of time and patience but it will benefit everyone around us: our families, our children, our friends and even ourselves.

 

 

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Depression is a liar

People who are depressed do not have good confidence and they have low esteem.  Depression doesn’t allow a person to feel good about themselves; instead, it destroys self-confidence.  Depression is a great liar.  It poisons our minds with the idea that we have no value, nobody likes us and our life doesn’t matter.  We doubt our abilities, we can’t see our great characteristics and we can’t use our skills.  We are critical about everything we do and don’t believe that we can accomplish anything.

Depression is a bad habit.  We feel that everything is hopeless and that nothing will ever change.  We spend our lives being angry, frustrated and upset believing that nothing will ever get better.

It is important to realize that being depressed is harmful to our health and we need to try hard to make positive changes.  Being depressed keeps us stuck in a negative mindset.  The good news is we can do something about it.  We CAN increase our confidence AND decrease our depression.

Here are some ideas:

  • Spend time with people who are encouraging and supportive.  We tend to think and act like the people we spend the most time with, so the more time you spend with positive people, the more positive you will become.  There are many different types of groups that can use your talents and skills.  Doing things you enjoy will help build your confidence.
  • Change your self-talk.  Many of us talk to ourselves in a negative way which will just bring us down.  Focus on using positive self-talk and stop putting yourself down.  Starting each day with a positive statement or affirmation is powerful.  “This is going to be a good day.”  “I am a good person”.  “I like to help people.” “I CAN do this.” “I have good friends.”
  • Write down all the good things in your life.  It may be hard at first but with practice it becomes easier.  This will help you create a new habit of positive thinking and increase your confidence.  Even if you are experiencing difficulties, you can always find something good if you look hard enough.
  • Do things for other people.  When you are focused on other people, it is hard to feel depressed.  Volunteering is a great way to help people and build your confidence.

If you are continually depressed, it is important that you seek medical help.  Therapy and medications are often necessary to help you cope and learn how to deal with your own personal issues.

Everyone has value and purpose.  Don’t let depression’s lies destroy your life.  Learn how to build confidence and increase your esteem.

 

 

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Do you look your best today?

When we get dressed, we try to pay close attention to what we are wearing so we will look good.  Sometimes, we will try on several outfits until we find the one that looks the best.  But does wearing nicely matched clothing and accessories really make us look our best?

What happens if we wake up with a bad attitude?  Does looking nice cover up any nasty thoughts that might be rolling around in our head or stop us from making unkind comments?

If we spent as much time working on changing our attitude as we do changing our outward appearance, we could make a positive impact on the people we meet and also become a lot happier.

So, do you really look your best today?  Does your attitude look as good as your appearance?

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What are you teaching your children?

When a child is born, their mind is like a blank slate just waiting for a story to be written.  Everything they see and hear makes an impression on their small, innocent minds.  Parents are their first teachers and can have the biggest impact on a child’s life which can lead to future success or failure.  As a child grows, they are also impacted by other family members, friends and teachers.  Even the media plays a large part on how a child learns and grows.  It is important that we show a positive example to our own children and anyone else we are in contact with.

What story are you writing on the blank slate of your children?

 

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