imconfident

I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

Too busy to enjoy life?

When was the last time you stopped from your busy schedule to relax and just enjoy life?  Was it yesterday, last week, last month, last year?  Do you even remember?

People today are so busy running around taking care of the family, the kids, the work, the house, the pets and a variety of other activities, that they are so worn out at the end of the day and still haven’t completed everything they wanted to.  Our to-do lists are getting longer and longer but the days don’t get any longer.   Every day has only 24 hours but we try to cram as much as possible into those hours and are never satisfied.

When are you going to start enjoying your life?    I’ve heard a lot of excuses and used most of them myself.

  • ‘I’ll start tomorrow.’  Well, we all know this won’t work because tomorrow never comes, so you can say this every day for the rest of your life.  Why not start today!
  • ‘When I get everything caught up.’  This doesn’t work because nobody ever finishes all the things they have to do.  Even if you manage to complete one task, there is always another one waiting to be done.
  • ‘When my children are grown up and move out’.  How do you know that your children will move out and if they do, maybe they will come home again.  Besides when your children have homes of their own, there will be different things to spend time doing.
  • ‘My spouse/friend/boss expects things of me.’  People will always have high expectations of you, especially if you continue to do things for them.  Being helpful is great but learn to say ‘no’ so you aren’t wearing yourself out.

Using excuses to continue rushing through life is not helping you at all.  Being too busy is harmful to your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health.  It can cause stress and all sorts of health issues.  Your body is important and if you don’t take care of it, nobody else will.

You may love your work but are you getting any pleasure out of what you are doing?  You may love your family but do you allow enough time to stop working and enjoy each other’s company.  Consider the things you do and start cutting back on what you do each day.   Try to organize your tasks so that you aren’t wasting time doing things that are unnecessary and unimportant.

Look around at other people and see what they are doing.  I’ve noticed that people who are rushing around often wear a frown and a worried look on their faces.  I’ve also noticed that people who are relaxing and chatting with someone are smiling and happy.    Being too busy is certainly not the way to happiness.

If you have been busy for so long that you can’t even think about what you can do to enjoy yourself, here are some suggestions:

  • read a good book
  • take a nap
  • listen to some classical music
  • sit and meditate
  • laugh
  • go to church
  • take a walk
  • play a game
  • do a puzzle
  • go fishing
  • plant flowers
  • talk to your spouse
  • exercise
  • ride a bike
  • watch a funny movie
  • write a story
  • visit a friend
  • watch the sunrise or sunset
  • write a love letter
  • bake cookies
  • go for a picnic
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Why worry?

worrying won't stop the bad stuff from happening

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What kind of words are you using?

Our words are very powerful.  Even a couple of words can do a lot of good or a lot of harm.  When you communicate with others, what kind of words are you using?  When you communicate with yourself, what kind of words are you using?    We should always be aware of what we are saying and try to use words that are kind and caring.   Be careful with your own words so you can show your children by example how to communicate with love and kindness.   Kindness is very contagious and it is a good habit to develop.

2 boys whispering

 

 

 

 

 

2 kids arguing

 

Words can either:

  • encourage or discourage
  • repair or destroy
  • lift up or put down
  • start a fight or stop a fight
  • heal or hurt
  • put a smile or a frown on someone’s face
  • pacify or anger
  • build up or tear down

What kind of words are you using?

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Robin Williams dead at 63

When I read this headline this morning, I was shocked.  I knew that Robin Williams struggled with depression but he seemed to be so full of life.  He was an amazing actor who could play almost any part and do a great job.  It didn’t matter if it was comedy, drama or even a cartoon character, everything he did was thoroughly entertaining.  Here is an article about his passing….. http://www.cbc.ca/news/arts/robin-williams-dead-in-apparent-suicide-at-63-1.2733770

If you struggle with depression, please take steps to help yourself.   According to many specialists, depression can be treated effectively and in many cases can be managed to a point where it almost disappears.   Here are some tips:

  • SEEK MEDICAL HELP – Find out what is causing your depression and discuss treatment options.
  • RESEARCH – Learn as much as you can about depression and how it can be helped.  Read stories about people who have overcome depression and how they managed to do so.
  • THERAPY – Find a counsellor, therapist, social worker or pastor who is understanding of your situation and easy to talk to.
  • FAMILY & FRIENDS – Connect with trusted family and friends who can encourage and support you.  Talking to someone every day will keep you focused on recovery.
  • SUPPORT GROUP – Groups can be very supportive.  Make sure they are helping you move forward and not keeping you stuck in your depression.   Check with local organizations and churches.
  • MEDICATION – medications can relieve depression but should never be relied on for an extended period of time unless the depression is very severe.   If you use medication, make sure you also work on developing a healthy lifestyle.
  • EXERCISE – Exercise has been proved to lessen depression.  Take a walk.  Ride a bike.  Join a fitness club.  Engage in a sports activity.
  • KEEP ACTIVE – Keeping your brain and your body active will keep your mind off your problems and you will not feel depressed.  Just make sure you allow time for relaxation so you don’t become worn out from too much activity.
  • BECOME POSITIVE – Work hard to rid yourself of negative thinking as it will keep you focused on being depressed.  Positive thinking is very powerful.  It helps you build confidence in yourself and it will change your life totally.

Everyone feels depressed at one time or another but some people struggle almost every day.   Stats very, but approximately 10% of the world’s population struggles with depression every day.  Sadly, this terrible illness has become a way of life that is slowly destroying them and many don’t even realize that they can make positive changes to their lives.  Don’t let depression rob you of life!  I allowed it to control my life for numerous years and thankfully I finally discovered that I could control my depression.  Now I can enjoy life and I rarely feel depressed.

If you want to learn more about building confidence and becoming more positive, visit my website at http://www.imconfident.com

 

 

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Don’t chase the dollar


don't chase the dollar

 

 

 

This is excellent advice from Dave Ramsey, who is a financial wizard, speaker, author and business owner.  He speaks from experience, having been financially stable when he was in his twenties and then losing everything.   This led him to research ways on how to make money and be more responsible in making financial decisions.  He now helps others become debt-free through his program, Total Money Makeover.   You may think you are in a serious financial situation but there may be hope if you follow Dave’s Seven Baby Steps.  Almost anyone can become debt-free with his great advice.  Visit his website at http://www.daveramsey.com and find out how you can become financially responsible.

 

 

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What do you see in the mirror?

When we look in the mirror, what do we usually see?  If you are anything like me, you will quickly see your flaws and imperfections.   Your face might have a mark, a scar, a giant zit.  Your hair might look too greasy, too dry or too messy.  Your ears might stick out too much.  Your nose might look too big.  Your eyes look dull and tired.  Your lips are colourless.  Your outfit doesn’t match.  I could go on and on.

Why can we find so much wrong with ourselves when in reality we are a wonderful creation?  God created to be different and unique.  Nobody in the world is exactly like us and that makes us special and valuable.

We CAN look in the mirror and be happy with what we see.  This is done by building confidence and increasing our self-esteem.   Living in a world that constantly tears us down and urges us to reach perfection can make this difficult to accomplish, but it IS possible.   We do NOT have to be like other people.  We do NOT have to be perfect.  We just have to work hard at becoming the best person that we can be in this imperfect world.

How can we do this?  By committing ourselves to making positive changes and not looking at ourselves through the eyes of the world.

  • build good positive habits
  • repeat positive affirmations
  • accept our strengths and weakness
  • change our self-talk
  • fill our emotional tanks
  • stop comparing ourselves to others
  • develop a grateful attitude
  • help others

I like this picture of a cat looking in a mirror.   It shows what confidence and self-esteem look life.  When the cat looks in a mirror, she sees her inner confidence and strong esteem.  When we look in a mirror, we should see what a strong, wonderful individual that we are.  What do you see in the mirror?  For more information on esteem building, visit my website at http://www.imconfident.com

SELF-ESTEEM believe in yourself

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Is it your birthday or your birth….day?

Have you ever thought about your birthday as being a birth…day?  I mean, the day you were born it was your birthday, but it was also the birth….day of your mother.   She celebrated the birth of her amazing child – YOU!!!

Every year most of us celebrate our birthdays with our family and/or friends, enjoying food and presents.  But do we celebrate the day that our mother gave us birth?   I know, we have a special day set aside just for mothers.  We celebrate Mother’s Day every year and I think this is silly because we should cherish our mothers every day, although it is good because it reminds us.

I think we should have a celebration on our birthday for our mothers who spent hours in labour and years taking care of us.  Mothers are seldom appreciated the way they should be and this is often the reason that they become stressed and burnt out.  If children would take the time to show love and appreciation for their mothers, it would help mothers feel worthy and valued.

This year on my grandson’s 3rd birthday, I wished my daughter a happy birth….day.  She went through a lot to bring her wonderful son into this world and she deserves to be appreciated.

Appreciation is a wonderful thing.  It has a positive effect on people.  Show appreciation for the people around you and watch the results.   Even if you have never been given appreciation before, there is no time like the present to get started on your own mission of appreciating others.

  • wives appreciate your husbands
  • husbands appreciate your wives
  • children appreciate your parents
  • friends/co-workers appreciate each other
  • employees appreciate your boss
  • bosses appreciate your employees

Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.”   ― Voltaire

 

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Depressed? Here are some self-help tips that work.

Depression is a horrible illness that brings pain and loneliness.  It can cause people to withdraw from others and stop taking part in regular activities.  This is self-defeating because it is important to keep busy and get support from other people when you are depressed.  Having struggled with depression all my life, I’ve found ways that can help beat the blues.  Here is a list of some ideas that have worked for me.   Try them and see what works best for you.  There is nothing to lose, but a lot to gain!

  1. Get out of bed at a regular time every morning.  Yes I know it is hard when you feel bad about yourself and the world.  Many times, I’ve just pulled the covers over my head and gone back to sleep which just made me feel worse.  Set your alarm to get up at the same time every day and put it across the room so you can’t just hit the snooze button.Slide15
  2. Make a healthy breakfast.  Eating healthy is good for your body and will help give you energy.
  3. Make a to-do list.  Think about what you want to accomplish that day but don’t just keep thinking and wishing it would happen.   Write it down and you will have a better chance of following through on your thoughts.   Just make sure it is a realistic list.  I made impossible lists and then felt bad because I couldn’t finish everything.
  4. Start with an action that gets your blood moving.  Look at your list and do something.  Even if you have only decided to call a friend, clean your kitchen or take the dog for a walk, this will get you energized.  Then keep working on your list until everything is done.  You will be surprised what you can accomplish and you will feel better!
  5. Compliment yourself.  Every time you accomplish something, no matter how small, tell yourself what a good job you did and encourage yourself to keep going.  It always feels good when someone else gives you an honest compliment but you should also feel good when you give yourself a compliment because you deserve it!
  6. Get support from your loved ones.  Find family or friends who you can trust to support you and encourage you.   Even just one person is a good start.   Set a specific time to talk to someone every day and this will also benefit your loved one because they will feel needed.  Consider family and friends who live far away and have them call, email or write letters to make sure you are keeping on track.
  7. Join a support group.  People who are going through similar challenges can help you navigate your way and become more confident.   You will find support from them and also be able to give them support in return.  However, make sure you test out a group for a time or two and see if the other group members and leaders are being supportive and caring.  Some groups are great, but I’ve attended a few that made me feel play with topsworse than I already did.
  8. Join an interest group, club, church group.  It can be very hard to be sociable with people when you are depressed, but it is very necessary.  Find something that you enjoy doing and give it a try!  Or do something different and have some fun!
  9. Make a nice meal and invite family and friends.  If you already live with someone, they will really appreciate the time you took to make a meal.  If you live alone, they will appreciate being invited.  If you don’t like to cook, it doesn’t have to be a gourmet meal, just make something simple and pick up a dessert or special treat.
  10. Meet a friend for coffee, lunch or a movie.  Call someone who you enjoy spending time with and ask them to meet you.   Be pleasant and enjoy a nice conversation.
  11. Never talk about your depression when socializing.  This is a sure way to drive people away from you.  This is something that I learned from experience.   It’s good therapy to talk about what is bothering you and the more you talk, the easier it gets, but you should be careful who you share your problems with.  Only talk about your depression with your trusted family members and friends, in a support group or with your counsellors.  When you are in a social setting, this is not the time to share your problems.  It also opens yourself up to people who like to gossip and spread your personal issues with other people.
  12. passing stickExercise.  Yes, I know, this is not a word that people like.  However, exercise is good for your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual self.  It helps you in so many ways and will lift your depression.  Sometimes when I was feeling really depressed, my husband would encourage me to go for a walk or bike ride and after I came home, I was feeling energized and the depression was gone.
  13. Volunteer.  There is nothing that is more rewarding than helping someone else.  Doing acts of kindness not only benefits the receiver but also the giver in many ways.  Every time I have volunteered it has helped me in so many ways.
  14. Surround yourself with positive people, places and things.  Make a habit of being positive as much as possible.  It isn’t easy in a negative world but if you keep working on it, it becomes a good habit.  I used to be negative most of the time, but I keep working very hard on being positive and have eliminated as much negativity from my life as possible, and now I’m positive most of the time.
  15. Make an appointment with a counselor, therapist or pastor.  Some people need professional help to get them started on recovery.  Don’t just sit and wait for help to come.  Go and get the help you need.  I did and it really helped me.

When you are depressed, you can only see the world from a negative perspective.  If you want to enjoy life and find happiness, you have to work hard at becoming positive.  This will help you build confidence and increase your esteem which will overcome your depression.  Pay attention to your moods and start looking after your health.   You are an awesome person and you deserve to be happy!

Check out my website http://www.imconfident.com for information on building confidence and increasing esteem.

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