imconfident

I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

Are you competing with people or against people?

The world is always pressuring us to compete against others and that winning is the most important thing.  How does this affect us?  Does it make us better or does it make us feel like failures?  Competition is a good thing, it allows us to measure ourselves with others and see where we need to improve.  The problem is we are competing against people and not with people.   Society is obsessed with winning and leads us to believe that if we lose, we are failures and have no value.

The fact is we can’t all win; someone has to lose but this does not make us a loser or a failure.  Competing with others should be a time to enjoy being with others who have the same interests, share ideas and celebrate with the person who does win.  Competition can be a good learning tool that will help us measure how we are doing and let us become a better version of ourselves.

Social media especially makes us feel bad because it always points out the people who are the most beautiful, the most successful, the most powerful;  the people who have it all and have everything we want.  Sadly most of these people are also the most miserable because money and power does not make people happy and it really doesn’t really measure success.  In my opinion, success is achieved when you feel that you have done everything in your power to be the best person you can be and you are satisfied with your life.

When someone wins a game and the rest lose, everyone loses.  However, when someone wins and everyone supports each other, everyone wins.  Instead of competing against others, try competing with them to achieve your goals.  Be a positive influence and show others the importance of working together to become stronger and smarter.

Winning doesn’t always mean being first.  Winning means you’re doing better than you’ve ever done before.  Bonnie Blair

A winner is someone who recognizes his God-given talents, works his tail off to develop them into skills, and uses these skills to accomplish his goals.  Larry Bird

Competing at the highest level is not about winning.  It’s about preparation, courage, understanding and nurturing your people and heart.  Winning is the result.  Joe Torre

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Turn your New Year’s Resolutions into Goals

What is a resolution?  The dictionary describes it with various terms:  a firm decision, solving a problem, finding solutions, improvements, a formal statement, a firmness of purpose, etc.   All these things may be good, but they are basically thoughts and not actions.  They are the beginnings of what could be great endings.  Everything starts with a thought but something needs to be done with those life-changing thoughts or they will never become reality.

This is the problem with making New Year Resolutions.  We start off the year with all sorts of ideas and plans which is really great but then we get bored, impatient or frustrated and we give up.  Life gets in the way and we keep on with our bad habits, struggling and feeling like we have failed until the next year rolls around.  Then we try again.

Change doesn’t come easily.  It takes patience, perseverance and planning.  Instead of just resolving to do something, we need to turn our resolutions into realistic goals that we can work towards.  The most important step in making change is writing down your thoughts.  Just leaving thoughts floating around in your head will rarely accomplish anything.

  • write down all your amazing ideas and thoughts
  • circle the 1-3 most important things you want to accomplish in the next year; don’t try to do too much or you will soon become stressed and not be able to keep going
  • set up a plan to accomplish those things, breaking them down into small steps than can be easily be done every day or week
  • every day, check off what you have done in order to accomplish your goals
  • if you don’t succeed that day, don’t beat yourself up, just promise yourself you will do it the next day
  • keep going even when you feel frustrated or defeated
  • celebrate small victories as you go along
  • get family and friends involved so they can encourage and support you
  • review your goals and make necessary revisions if something is not working properly

If you stick to a WRITTEN PLAN, you sill soon seen some positive changes happening.  Be patient, be persistent and you will be victorious!

 

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Don’t let your past weigh you down

Past regrets are a heavy burden.  They can weigh you down and destroy any chance of having a happy, fruitful life.  Don’t allow the past to hold you back and keep you from moving forward in life.  Forgive people for hurting you, loving them is far more important than holding grudges about something that is over and done with.  And stop worrying about the future; most of the things we worry about never happen anyway.  Regret and worry just rob us of the joy and peace that we could be experiencing today.  When things are difficult, love harder, encourage others and be supportive.

This is the day which the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.  Psalm 118:24

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A new year’s challenge to all women

It is a brand new year and time to think about change.  How is your life going?  Do you wish some things could be different?  Change requires action, so if you don’t make some definite plans and put them in action, nothing will change.  I’m not talking about New Year’s Resolutions, which are just nice ideas that start well and end quickly.  I am talking about real change and making your life better.

Life is hard and there is no way to change that fact.  But many of us are searching for perfection and we make our lives way more difficult than they need to be.  Woman especially care too much about what other people think and we believe the lie that happiness is found in other people and things.  We shouldn’t be searching for happiness at all because happiness is short-lived and relies totally on outside sources which will never be what we want them to be.

Growing up, we are very influenced by the world, watching and listening to our parents and other significant adults, believing what they tell us and copying their actions.  Some of us are fortunate to have good role models but most of us grow up feeling somewhat unloved, unwanted and unimportant.  How does that prepare us to face the challenges of the world?  Then add the powerful impact of the media on our lives, and the lie is confirmed that we are not good enough and nobody cares about us unless of course we surround ourselves with possessions.

I want to challenge all women to face any lies from their past and understand that it does not define them.  If people have said or done anything in our past that has hurt us, we need to realize that they are speaking and acting from their own pain or their lack of knowledge.  It is so easy to hurt the people we love because our expectations are unrealistic or way too high.  Nobody will ever be the person we want them to be and we will never be the person they want us to be.

The only person that can make us happy is ourselves.  How?  We need to:

  • look at ourselves through the eyes of God instead of the eyes of the world and see ourselves as a beautiful creation, loved and deeply wanted.
  • reject any lies that we have heard (not good enough, not smart enough, failure, nobody loves you).  None of these are true.
  • replace any lies with the truth that we are lovable, worthy and valuable.
  • forgive our family, our friends and any other significant people in our lives for hurting us with their words or actions.
  • forgive ourselves for believing lies about ourselves.
  • work hard to mend any broken relationships.
  • start sharing our love and helping others.

I challenge you to start the New Year by unpacking any baggage that is holding you back from experiencing a wonderful life.  What baggage are you carrying around that is causing pain?  Do you have unresolved anger, bitterness, jealousy or hatred?  It is easy to hold onto negative feelings, but it takes character to release those feeling and forgive.  Unpack those feelings, resolve them and forgive so you can start living a life of joy and peace.

Any problem, big or small, within a family, always seems to start with bad communication. Someone isn’t listening.   Emma Thompson

It’s time for us to turn to each other, not on each other.   Jesse Jackson

Everyone makes mistakes and needs forgiveness.  Holding on to pain just hurts us.  If we are able to forgive others, we will also be forgiven and the pain will be released.  Unknown

 

 

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I AM SICK OF POLITICS!

I try not to listen to the news because it rarely is about anything good, especially when politics are the topic.  This week was no exception.  I heard Prime Minister Trudeau apologizing for something he should NEVER have apologized for because he really did nothing wrong.  He dressed up in fun and I could see nothing ‘racist’ about his behaviour.  Every year tons of people, including myself, dress up for Halloween, painting their faces black, white, yellow, purple, green and various other colours to become their favourite hero, an actor or someone famous.  Are these people being racist?  What about people who make movies and dress up to play the part of another nationality?  Racism?  What about kids who just like to dress up when they play to have fun?  Racism?  Come on people.  If you were hurt by these pics, then you have some very serious identity issues.

Racism is wrong.  Hatred is wrong.  Evil is wrong.  We see real examples of racism every day and we need to address the real problems, not waste time on non-issues like this.  Nobody should ever hurt another human being for any reason.  We should all work hard to lift each other up with our words and actions and when we fail, we should apologize.

These photos were conveniently dug up to make Trudeau look bad just before an election.  The person who did this has way to much time on their hands and if they truly care about racism, they should be spending their time with organizations that actually work hard to help people in these situations.

Instead of saying someone is “running for election“, they should more aptly say that they are “running around trying to find something bad to say about the other parties“.  I am really sick of listening to parties running each other down and digging up stuff in their past.   We can look into almost anyone’s past and find something to make them look bad if we try hard enough.  We all do things we are not proud of, but unless they are affecting the people around us in our present life, they are not worth addressing.  Purposely destroying another human being is wrong and this is just as bad as racism.

Politics should be about different parties that consist of people with integrity and honesty, bringing the best leader possible in front of the country.   Parties should be spending their time researching ways to benefit the country and how they can make things better instead of looking for garbage that is destructive.  Leaders should be telling us what they can do for us and not what the other party can’t!

The world is in sad shape and we need responsible leaders.  Where are they?  I am still looking……….

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Do you make mountains out of molehills?

How often do you make a big deal out of nothing or turn a minor issue into a major issue or exaggerate something way out of proportion? Often our daily problems seem a lot bigger and more important than they really are. Life can be so complicated that we end up wasting a large amount of time dealing with things that are unnecessary and have little value in our lives.

When problems arise, we need to stop and ask ourselves a few questions so we can determine which problems need to be addressed and which ones need to be dismissed.

1) Does this really matter to my life right now and should I take the time needed to address it?
2) Will my reaction to this issue impact anyone else in a positive way?
3) Will this issue matter at all tomorrow, next week, next month or next year?

If the answer is a definite ‘Yes“, then it should be addressed. If the answer is ‘No” or ‘I’m not sure,” it should probably be dismissed at least for the time being. When we make a big deal out of everything that happens, we risk having a breakdown in communication with others and the possibility of bigger problems to deal with.

If we can develop a habit of stopping to think before we react in any situation, we can have a happier, more peaceful life. Everything that happens is not that important and we can just let it go. It isn’t that easy but if I can do it, so can you.

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Is our food killing us?

Do you ever stop to think about what you eat?  We all know that foods high in sugar, salt and fat are not healthy but did you know that some of the so-called healthy foods are actually poisoning our bodies?  A lot of our foods today are highly processed and our meat comes from animals that are raised in small unhealthy areas, forced to eat food that is not natural for them and given hormones and antibiotics.  We are eating foods that can cause numerous health problems such as:

  • obesity
  • heart disease
  • stroke
  • alzheimers
  • allergies
  • autism
  • learning disabilities
  • autoimmune disorders
  • some cancers
  • osteoarthritis
  • diabetes

Companies spend billions of dollars each year pressuring us to spend more money on fast food, prepared food and unhealthy products just so they can make money.  Obesity is growing rapidly, especially in children and we need to start paying attention to what we are eating and feeding our families.

We need to start developing a habit of eating healthy, whole foods like fresh vegetables and fruits, more fibre, foods that are low in salt and fat and meat/meat products that come from farms where animals are pasture-raised, grass-fed and free from chemicals.  We should also avoid sugar and sweeteners and use honey instead.

Eating fast, frozen or prepared foods may make our busy lives easier but as we age, our health will undoubtedly deteriorate and we will suffer in one way or another.  Better to take the time and prepare healthy foods while we are still in good health and have the ability to work at keeping fit.

Until I had my second stroke, I never really paid a lot of attention to what I ate.  I tried eating things in moderation but I didn’t really know how harmful the foods were that I was eating.  After doing lots of research, I have totally changed the way I eat and I also do regular exercise.    There are lots of books on dieting but you really need to be careful what you are reading and look for those with common sense and not just empty promises.   In my book, “Grandma’s Notes on Healthy Eating”, I have summarized what I have gained from several really good books.  One of the best books that changed my view on eating is by Dr Caroline Leaf, “Think and Eat Yourself Smart”.  She shows how food affects our brain and our bodies.

Since changing my diet and adding regular exercise, I feel so much better.  I still go out for a burger and fries on occasion or have a sweet treat but I don’t do it on a regular basis.  Maintaining a healthy weight requires a lot of hard work and patience but once you set some healthy habits it will benefit your health in so many ways.

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WHO is teaching your children?

As our children grow, they learn from everyone and everything around them.  They see and hear all sorts of things that catch their attention and they will try to imitate many of them.  When they are seeing and hearing positive things, it is a good thing and this will have a positive effect on their lives.  However, many of the things they hear and see are not very positive and could have a devastating effect on their lives.

Parents should be the main teacher for their children and be providing them with a positive example to follow.  However,  many parents today do not spend a lot of time with their children due to a busy schedule or lack of awareness in how to parent a child properly, and their children are left to finding guidance in other ways.  This could be from other family members or friends who may or may not be the best teachers.  Some children are left a lot in the hands of the TV or Media babysitter, who will certainly teach your children to be selfish, disrespectful, greedy and to expect the world to give them whatever they desire.  Is this the kind of child you want??  Is this the kind of child the world needs??  Of course not!!

We need to teach our children to be kind, loving and to respect other people so they will become responsible and confident adults.  Children want to communicate with their parents and to spend time with them.   If we are too busy to teach our children, they will learn from someone or something else.

So, WHO is teaching your children?

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Don’t be a copy of someone else

I’m sure you have heard the quote, “You were born an original, don’t die a copy.”  How well are you following this good advice?

Most of us spend our lives trying to be like someone else instead of being the best version of ourselves that we can be.  As small children, we look to our parents and want to be just like them when we grow up.  When we go to school we look to our friends and other schoolmates, trying to imitate their appearance and behaviours.  Then as an adult we see people who are successful and we try to model their lives.

We all want to be loved and accepted but we believe that we don’t have the qualities necessary to succeed, so we try to copy other people.  The sad fact is, that the people we admire most have just as many flaws and imperfections as we do, but we don’t see them.  We need to realize that we are all unique individuals with special talents and abilities.

Have you been successful in fulfilling your own dreams and reaching your own goals?  Or have you just fulfilled someone else’s dreams and reached someone else’s goals?  This is certainly not the way to find a happy and rewarding life.

Don’t try to be somebody else.  Just be the awesome person you were created to be!   Be confident in yourself!  Believe in yourself!  There is only 1 of you – 1 special you!!!  YOU ARE AN ORIGINAL!

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Have a date with your kid

My husband and I were sitting in a local coffee shop enjoying a coffee when a man came in with his young daughter.  He ordered tea and cookies and then sat down, taking off their coats and waiting for their order.  When the order was ready, the dad went to pick up a teapot, 2 cups, 2 plates and a bag with cookies.  He poured the tea and put the cookies on the plates.  Then they proceeded to have their tea party.  It was obvious that they were having a great time with all the smiles and conversation.  This dad sure knew how to treat a lady and was showing his daughter how special she was.

Going on a date is a great experience and it brings people closer together.  When we are young, it is exciting to have someone ask us to go for dinner, a movie or even just a walk in the park.   Then when we get into a serious relationship or get married, dating can sometimes take a back burner because we are too busy working or doing other things.  However, we should always take the time to plan a date so we can relax, de-stress and keep our relationships strong.

Dating is also a great idea when you have kids.  One-on-one time between a parent and child is a valuable learning experience and it will keep the lines of communication open.  When a father dates a daughter or a mother dates a son, it shows them how valuable they are and they will learn how to treat a future spouse and friends of the opposite sex.

February is a time when people think about love.  Why not show love to your kids and plan a date with them?  Then plan a date night with your spouse or a friend and strengthen your relationships!

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