If you don’t have anything nice to say…………

Most of us have heard the expression, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”.   I remember saying it to my children and it is actually good advice because once you say something, your words can never be taken back.   You should always be careful with your words because hurtful words can cause damage to both the person you are speaking to and yourself.    No matter what message you are trying to get across, even if it is necessary to make a point in the midst of a conflict, try to think about how to say it so it doesn’t cause irreparable damage.    Words can be softened just by our tone of voice and our body language.

When we are posting on social media, we need to be especially careful.  Hiding behind a computer or a cell phone, often gives us the courage to say things that we would never say to a person face to face.  We can’t see a person’s eyes, so we just go ahead and write whatever is in our thoughts.   This can result in problems that we don’t even consider.  Our words and pictures are on the computer forever, and they may come back in a few years to destroy our lives.   Several years after posting inappropriate photos, talking about our partying and using rude language, our past may come back to haunt us.  We may have worked hard to get top marks and are hoping for that great position we have always wanted.  Then during the job interview, these past memories are being viewed by the very person who is considering us for the job.  Oh, oh, can’t take it back now.  You already look like an irresponsible, uncaring, nasty person.

We need to teach our children how to use social media properly and how to communicate effectively.  Words are weapons and should be chosen carefully, not just spoken randomly without thinking first.  Children should learn manners, how to respect others and not to gossip.  Help them set good habits.  This can be done by being a positive role model and using our words responsibly both to our children and other people.

I watched a you tube video today by Dave Ramsey who speaks about how “we are raising a generation that is digitally stupid”.  People today do not even think about the consequence of their posts on social media and it is potentially ruining their lives.  He talks about an incident where a young girl caused her father to lose $80,000 because of her Facebook post.  You can watch the video here….http://youtu.be/Pye3ZJ-QKZ4

So, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all and you will be a much nicer person!

 

Who are you making that cup of coffee for?

If your husband or wife asks you to make them a cup of coffee, tea or hot chocolate, do you take the time willingly and make it for them?  If you are sitting watching TV or reading a book, would you be bothered to get up and fulfill their request?  Or would you tell them to make it themselves?

Now let’s change the scene.   Let’s pretend that you were visiting a special person, someone of importance that you really admired and respected and they asked you to make them a cup of coffee, what would you do?    Would you tell them to make their own or would you jump up quickly and make it for them?

I’m sure if you were around someone who you consider to be very important, you would be more than happy to make them a coffee.  But what about your loved ones?  Aren’t they just as important or even more so?

Why do we often treat other people better than the ones we are closest to?  Do we take them for granted?  Of course we do.  I know I do.

So, who are you making that cup of coffee for?

 

 

 

What happened to common courtesy?

I can’t believe how rude people can be.  It seems like everywhere you go, people are rushing to get somewhere and never take the time to show common courtesy.  When you go in a store, people will step right in front of you to go in the door before you.  When you are driving, cars cut you off.  When you are crossing the street, you are taking your life in your hands because some drivers will almost run you down to turn the corner and fly down the street.  Why does everyone have to be in such a hurry?  What is so important that common courtesy is ignored and replaced by rudeness?

Tonight my husband and myself were almost run over by two different drivers who couldn’t wait while we crossed in a cross walk in front of a department store.  They actually had to go into the other lane to pass by us and didn’t slow down or even glance our way as they drove past.   Thank God we weren’t walking faster or we might have been injured!

Of course there are a lot of very nice people in this world that take the time to show kindness and respect for their fellow human beings.   Unfortunately, it seems that more and more people all the time are losing their sense of common courtesy.  I see this a lot in young people and it is because they are not taught how to love and respect people.  It is so important that we teach our children common courtesy and also be a good example to everyone around us.

• if we model love to others, they will learn to love
• if we model respect to others, they will learn to respect
• if we model kindness to others, they will learn to be kind

What kind of role model are you?

 

Are you a giver or a taker?

In our culture, we are taught to be takers.  Whatever situation we are in, we are supposed to look for what we can gain. Takers expect something in return and are looking for personal satisfaction.  They always ask the question, “What is in it for me?”  If there is nothing to gain, then they don’t want to be bothered.  Takers feel their needs are more important than anyone else’s.  They demand attention and are usually unaware of the needs of other people around them.

Givers are those who are taught to be caring and empathetic.  They want to do things for others and help make their lives better.  Givers look for opportunities to help other people because it is rewarding and makes them feel good.   They pay attention to the needs of others and see the importance of doing good deeds.

Givers are usually more happy and satisfied with their lives than takers.  They are more positive, have a good attitude, are more loving and caring.  Givers are helpful to their family, friends and often contribute to their community.

If you are a taker, you should consider making some positive changes so your life and relationships will improve.  Making changes takes practice and repetition, so you will need to work hard and be patient.  Here are some suggestions:

• Listen to what other people are saying and try to determine what their needs are
• Treat people with love, respect and kindness
• Try to communicate in a positive way.
• Be supportive and let people know that you are there to help them.
• Focus on the positives instead of the negatives
• Practice doing acts of kindness
• Think from your heart instead of your mind
• Don’t expect people to do things for you, instead, do things for other people

Troubles

Do you ever feel like this picture – that everyone and everything in life is against you? Some of us feel that life is always beating us up and rightly so. The world is a negative place and people are naturally negative and self-centered – we are born this way. Unless we are taught to be positive, kind and caring, we will grow up to be adults who look at life with a negative perspective, have a bad attitude and treat ourselves and other people with disrespect. When we have been hurt, abused, ignored or treated badly we will treat other people in the same way because we don’t know anything different. Hurting people hurt people. So we end up like this pictures. We are being hurt or we are hurting others. If we want to stop this from happening, we have to develop a positive attitude and strong esteem so we can deal with situations in a positive way and not allow people to hurt or disrespect us. Let’s all do our part to be nice to each other and ourselves by being kind and showing love. Hurting each other is wrong and nobody wins.

The real Audrey

I’m sure most of you know who Audrey Hepburn was.  I think she was an amazing lady with incredible talent.  Her story started in 1929 and ended in 1993 when she died at the early age of 63 from cancer.  During her lifetime she worked hard to become an actress who starred in over 25 movies becoming greatly loved by the world.  Audrey considered her greatest achievement was her work as a UNICEF International Goodwill Ambassador.

Audrey had a great compassion for her fellow human beings and was especially passionate about the plight of starving children.   Her final years were spent visiting countries where she saw famine and great suffering.  When visiting Sudan, Hepburn said, “I saw but one glaring truth.  These are not natural disasters but man-made tragedies for which there is only one man-made solution – peace.”   It’s too bad the world doesn’t understand this simple logic.

I found these “timeless beauty tips from Audrey Hepburn’ and wanted to share them with you.   Audrey certainly was a wise woman.

A great act of kindness

Kindness can be contagious.  When you do something nice for someone else, it usually makes them feel good and in return makes you feel good.  Of course, there are always exceptions to every rule and there are people in the world who are just so miserable that they wouldn’t crack a smile for the nicest, sweetest person of all.   For those few people, they probably don’t trust anyone and it might take a while to get through to them, so keep trying if you know anyone like that.

It’s time that we all start doing our part in making this world a better place to live.  Our goal should be to do at least one act of kindness every day and even more important, not to expect anything in return.

 

 

There are all sorts of things we can do for other people:

• smile and say hello
• send a card, email or text
• treat a friend to lunch
• complement people
•  help an elderly neighbour cut their lawn or shovel their snow
• tell people that you appreciate them
• hold the door open for someone
• send an anonymous gift to someone in need

Today I watched a video about a man, Sir Nicholas Winton, who did a HUGE act of kindness 50 years ago and he totally deserves being rewarded for his actions.  I was very moved by what he did for so many people.  Amazing man!

http://youtu.be/6_nFuJAF5F0