imconfident

I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

Is fat really the worst thing……

is fat really the worst thing

 

 

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If you don’t have anything nice to say…………

happy face with laptopMost of us have heard the expression, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”.   I remember saying it to my children and it is actually good advice because once you say something, your words can never be taken back.   You should always be careful with your words because hurtful words can cause damage to both the person you are speaking to and yourself.    No matter what message you are trying to get across, even if it is necessary to make a point in the midst of a conflict, try to think about how to say it so it doesn’t cause irreparable damage.    Words can be softened just by our tone of voice and our body language.

When we are posting on social media, we need to be especially careful.  Hiding behind a computer or a cell phone, often gives us the courage to say things that we would never say to a person face to face.  We can’t see a person’s eyes, so we just go ahead and write whatever is in our thoughts.   This can result in problems that we don’t even consider.  Our words and pictures are on the computer forever, and they may come back in a few years to destroy our lives.   Several years after posting inappropriate photos, talking about our partying and using rude language, our past may come back to haunt us.  We may have worked hard to get top marks and are hoping for that great position we have always wanted.  Then during the job interview, these past memories are being viewed by the very person who is considering us for the job.  Oh, oh, can’t take it back now.  You already look like an irresponsible, uncaring, nasty person.

We need to teach our children how to use social media properly and how to communicate effectively.  Words are weapons and should be chosen carefully, not just spoken randomly without thinking first.  Children should learn manners, how to respect others and not to gossip.  Help them set good habits.  This can be done by being a positive role model and using our words responsibly both to our children and other people.

I watched a you tube video today by Dave Ramsey who speaks about how “we are raising a generation that is digitally stupid”.  People today do not even think about the consequence of their posts on social media and it is potentially ruining their lives.  He talks about an incident where a young girl caused her father to lose $80,000 because of her Facebook post.  You can watch the video here….http://youtu.be/Pye3ZJ-QKZ4

So, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all and you will be a much nicer person!

 

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Are you paying more attention to your smartphone or your child?

smartphoneTechnology seems to be taking over our lives.  People are becoming addicted to using their cellphones, laptops, emails and other forms of wireless communication.  It isn’t just kids, adults are equally guilty of spending too much time checking their cellphones and emails.  You can’t go out anywhere without seeing someone who is talking on their phone.  Grocery shoppers are getting a list of items over the phone.  Diners in a restaurant are carrying on a conversation with someone while they are eating.  People on the street are calling a friend.  Drivers are reading a text that has just come in.  Many people have absolutely no patience at all when their phone rings or an email or text comes in and they are compelled to answer it instantly no matter what time of day or night it is.   The source of technology has taken control over their lives and now they have an addiction.

This is causing a lot of problems:

  1. High amounts of stress which can lead to lack of energy, poor sleep, unhealthy eating habits, illnesses
  2. Inability to prioritize which can result in lost time at work or school, missed appointments
  3. Potential injury or death if using while driving
  4. Lack of emotional control, little patience or self-control
  5. Poor communication with others face-to-face which can result in loss of friends, clients, jobs
  6. Makes other people feel ignored when phones and laptops take priority
  7. Miss important life experiences that take place while on phone or computer

I have a young grandson and I’m very concerned about the world he is growing up in.   People are putting more of a priority on their cell phones than they do on their children and at what cost?  Today I read an article called, “For the children’s sake, put down that smartphone”.  In the article a psychologist talks about the effect mobile devices have on children.  She interviewed 1000 children between the ages of 4 and 18 and they were ‘sad, mad, angry and lonely’ because of their parents’ smartphones or ‘stupid phones’, as some stated.

A pediatrician tells about a situation where she observed a mother totally ignoring her baby whom she was pushing in a stroller.  The baby was smiling and making faces at the mom but the mom was watching a video on her smartphone that she had placed between her and the baby.  What a shame that the mom chose the phone over a wonderful experience to share with her baby.  You can read the entire article here http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2014/04/21/304196338/for-the-childrens-sake-put-down-that-smartphone?utm_campaign=storyshare&utm_source=share&utm_medium=twitter

Technology is great and it has many advantages but we need to make sure that we are not being controlled by our cell phones or other technology.  If you think you are becoming addicted, PLEASE take some steps to curb this terrible habit.   Here are some suggestions:

  • turn your cell phone OFF when you are working, in a meeting, talking to other people, eating in a restaurant, in your car, while you are sleeping – you DO NOT need to be available 24 hours a day, people will leave a message if it is important or call you back
  • avoid answering calls or texts immediately if you are talking to someone or spending time with your children – this is actually VERY RUDE and can result in lost friendships and hurt your children
  • only check your emails at certain times of day
  • if you are a business person, hire someone else to read your emails and only forward the important ones to you

Monitor your use of technology and use moderation.  Teach your children to do the same thing so they won’t develop a bad habit or become addicted.   Your children are very likely to follow your example so make sure you are being a responsible role model.  Remember that people are far more important and valuable than a piece of equipment.  Build relationships and only make use of technology when you really need to.

Are you paying more attention to  your smartphone or your child?

 

 

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What are you wearing today?

lady looking in mirrorThe way we look can have a profound effect on how others see us and also how we see ourselves.  Before going out in the world, ask yourself what kind of image you want others to see.  Remember the statement, ‘A picture is worth a thousand words”.  What kind of picture are you showing to the public by the way you dress?  We should always try to look our best so we show others that we respect ourselves and have confidence.

However, looking our best should not just apply to our outer attire.   How we appear to others includes far more than our clothing, hairstyle and accessories.   We can have outer beauty and look good on the outside but neglect to wear any inner beauty.

When you go out, do you put on a good attitude, a caring manner and a pleasant smile?  Do you show love, compassion and understanding?  Are your words full of kindness and your actions full of respect?   Are you wearing your inner beauty?

We spend so much time worrying about how we look on the outside and trying to impress other people that we often ignore what is going on inside.  We need to work hard at creating a beautiful personality so that our inner beauty will shine through and we can be a good example to others.  This will bring happiness and success to our lives.

What are you wearing today?

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The Origin of Easter

I’ve been doing research on Easter and I discovered that the name ‘Easter’ is not of Christian origin as I thought.  It actually was a pagan festival that worshipped other gods and there are some interesting stories including a cult that claims a virgin birth, death and rebirth about 200 BC.   Then about 325 AD, it seems the Roman Empire decided to replace this pagan celebration with a festival that observed the birth, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.  Since then, Easter has become a tradition.

If Easter was really the name of a pagan celebration, why did they replace it with such an important and passionate event?   It seems interesting that many people today celebrate Easter as the pagans did thousands of years before.

I’ve heard people refer to Easter Sunday as Resurrection Sunday and I think that is a much more appropriate name.   It reflects the meaning of the day much better.

Here is a great Resurrection Sunday song that was written by our Worship Leader Greg Sykes and our pastor’s wife.  Enjoy Greg as he sings, “The Rock that Won’t be Moved”.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAQur9WKotE&list=PLxW5UZOSreHXbJIAKHSxbFPzkuZf96eC3

 

 

 

 

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What does Easter mean to you?

easter

When you  hear the word ‘Easter’ what comes to your mind?   Chocolate eggs and candy, bunnies and chickens or something deeper and more meaningful?

Easter was instituted to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ and is also linked to the Jewish Passover.  Easter customs vary across the Christian and non-Christian world including:  church services, family get togethers, decorating Easter eggs, Easter parades and various events.

Here is what Easter means to me:

E- eating a meal with my family

A – attending church

S – spending time with my grandson

T – taking time to reflect

E – enjoying some quiet time

R – renewing my faith

What does Easter mean to you?   Try making your own Easter acrostic.

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18 Ways you are a really bad parent

There are many ways you can hurt your child’s esteem, often without even realizing.   Parents don’t always know how to raise a child because they just follow the same methods used by their parents, which may not be the best. We can only do what we know, so parents should learn the best methods and try to be a good role model for their children.

Here are 18 really bad parenting methods.  Are you using any of them?

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By David Joel Miller

18 ways to be a really bad parent

child aloneInsecure child – from Flickr

Here are 18 really bad ways to treat children. Do them enough and you can destroy a child’s life. Some parents do these things out of ignorance, others out of meanness. (Want to be a good parent then avoid these traps.)

How many of these child warping parenting techniques do you use?

1. Never tell your kids you love them

Parents are for discipline not love. They should know you love them, you feed them sometimes right?

You can be strict or you can be lenient as long as the kids know you love them. Strict without love is abusive. Lenient without love can turn into neglect.

2. Point out everything wrong with your child

Point out every mistake they make. Keep at them until they get it right or give up. Over…

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What does that label say?

dumb labelDo you ever read the labels on the products you buy?  Manufacturers are so afraid of being sued that they are putting the stupidest information on their labels.   Here are some that I found amusing.   Enjoy!

  • On a package of nuts:  “May contain nuts.”
  • On a hair dryer:  “Do not use in the shower.”
  • On a package of matches:  “Warning.  Contents may be flammable.”
  • On a package of roasted chickpeas:  “Ingredients – chickpeas.  Allergy warning – contains chickpeas.”
  • On deodorant (roll-on):  “Do not spray in eyes.”
  • On a pizza box:  “Caution.  Contents hot.
  • On a cardboard sunshield for front car window:  “Do not drive with sunshield in place.”
  • On a toner cartridge for a printer:  “Do not eat toner.”
  • On a wheelbarrow wheel:   “Not intended for highway use.”
  • On a set of knives:  “Warning.  Knives are sharp.”
  • On a box of rat poison:  “Warning.  Contents found to cause cancer in mice.”
  • On a stroller:  “Warning.  Remove child before folding.”
  • On an iron:  “Do not iron clothes on body.”
  • On Christmas lights:  “For indoor or outdoor use only.”
  • On the bottom of a dessert box:  “Do not turn upside down.”
  • On a bottle of sleeping pills:  “Warning.  May cause drowsiness.”
  • On a 6 inch by 10 inch inflatable picture frame:  “Do not use as a personal flotation device.”
  • On a package of airline peanuts:  “Open packet.  Eat contents.”
  • On a bottle of child’s cough medicine:  “Do not drive or operate machinery after taking this medicine.”
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Mean Girls-Inspiring Song

We all need to take a stand against bullying. If you see someone being bullied, step in and support them. Remember that you can either be part of the problem or part of the solution. Standing by and letting things happen is just reinforcing bad behaviour. Always show kindness to others and be a good example.

The Teen Years

I ran across this song by accident, and I think it’s amazing. This happens to so many girls, and people make fun of them if they’re cutters, suicidal, ‘goth’, downers. Nobody ever really questions why, or wonders if they might have a part in it. Please listen and spread this song, it’s very touching and might help someone.

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Children are our greatest asset

girl looking down roadAs children, we have dreams of becoming something great.  Then as we grow, we hear and see things that take away our dreams.  Just a few simple words like, “You can’t do that.  You’re too stupid.  You’re a failure,” can damage our esteem and create a lifetime of insecurity and fear.  By the time we become adults, we have become so discouraged that our dreams have been buried forever.

Experts agree that all children need a foundation of love and proper values in order to become confident adults with good esteem.  They need to be encouraged, appreciated and taught how to keep going despite any mistakes or failures.

It is important that we learn how to interact with our children in a positive way so we can help them develop the skills needed to become strong, responsible individuals with kind and caring personalities.  How can we help our children and others around us to build confidence and good esteem?

  • be a good example
  • be a positive role model
  • be loving and caring
  • be encouraging
  • be supportive
  • be open-minded
  • be attentive
  • be honest
  • be consistent
  • BE PART OF THEIR LIVES

Determine whether or not your own esteem is strong and then make some changes in your own life, so you will be able to influence your children and everyone around you in a positive way.

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