I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

Doing the right thing

smiling little girlIn this world with all the pressures to be accepted, it is often hard to do the right thing.   When faced with a decision that may cause us to lose more than we will gain, it can be easier to just do whatever is necessary so we can fit in with everyone else.  We are always looking for acceptance and will put this as a priority instead of doing what is right.  If your friends are going somewhere or doing something that you know is wrong, it takes a lot of courage to say ‘no’ and not get involved.  If you are on your way to an important meeting and you see an elderly person fall down on the sidewalk, it takes a lot of courage to stop and help them even though you may miss out on an opportunity.  If you find a wallet full of money and you are really needing money to buy something, it takes a lot of courage to find the person and return their wallet.

It is important to always do the right thing, no matter what it will cost you.   It may cost you some time.  It may result in the loss of some popularity or friends.  It may be very difficult at times but there is far more value in doing the right thing than doing the wrong thing.  Doing the wrong thing may seem like a good idea at the time but it will eventually result in problems down the road, both for you and other people.

When you are faced with a decision, think about what the consequences will be, not just right now, but later on your life.   Ask yourself:

  • How do I feel about this right now, deep down in my soul?
  • Is this the right thing or the wrong thing to do?
  • If I do this now, will it hurt or help anyone, including myself?
  • If I do this now, is it fair or unfair to everyone involved?
  • How would I feel if someone I loved was doing this?
  • Does this follow the Golden Rule (do unto others as you would have them do unto you)?

We all have a conscience that helps us make good decisions, if we keep our minds open.   Making the right decision will:

  • stop us from having a lot of regrets in the future
  • help add value to our lives and the lives of others
  • have many rewards and paybacks
  • increase our self-esteem and help us feel good about ourselves

Don’t let society pressure you into believing that it is okay to compromise and do something wrong just because other people are doing it.  Don’t be fooled into believing that you can do the wrong thing and find happiness.  We all want to be accepted and loved but allowing ourselves to do the wrong thing will never help us find long-term happiness and success in life.  Be a person of integrity!  Stand up for what is right by showing love to everyone around you!

The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live. ~Flora Whittemore

Decisions become easier when your will to please God outweighs your will to please the world. ~Anso Coetzer

Life is the sum of all your choices. ~Albert Camus

 It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are. ~Roy Disney


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Beauty quote Brenda

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What is love?

We all have different ideas of what love is.   Some of us can really feel love and share it with others.  Some of us only see love as another word that means nothing.  For anyone who has grown up surrounded by love that is openly and genuinely expressed, they will understand love to be a warm, caring connection to others.   For anyone who has grown up surrounded by some type of dysfunction or indifference, they may not understand what love really means.

Love can be understood as a feeling of affection for a family member or friend, a deep emotional attachment to a member of the opposite sex or the desire to do acts of kindness for another human being.   Love is often the fuel that keeps people together in tough times.

Everyone needs to feel loved and be able to give love to others.  Love is a powerful emotion and without love our lives are meaningless.    What is the true meaning of love?

  • love is patient and kind, showing goodness to others
  • love is not jealous of other people, it is pleased when others are honoured
  • love is not boastful or proud, it accepts what it has
  • love is not rude, it honours others by being considerate and courteous
  • love is not self-seeking. it is interested in assisting others
  • love is not easily angered, it is willing to endure insults and nasty comments
  • love keeps no record of wrongs, forgetting and forgiving what has been said or done
  • love does not delight in evil, taking part in things that are wrong, instead rejoices in the truth
  • love protects others by concealing or hiding the faults of others
  • love trusts and tries to believe the best
  • love hopes that all things will eventually work out for the best
  • love perseveres, it never gives up

These are tough standards to live up to but we should always try our best.  Remember, love is powerful and love never fails.  It just goes on and on for eternity.

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence. ~Erich Fromm

The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread. ~Mother Teresa

  • Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end. ~Author Unknown

Love one another and you will be happy. It’s as simple and as difficult as that. ~Michael Leunig

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Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

Many of us focus on the past and keep re-living all our pain and misery.  Others focus on the future and what might or might not happen.  People living in the past or future are unlikely to live in happiness and good health.  They are stressing about past issues and worrying about what will happen in the future.

Focusing on the present allows us to enjoy our lives and be thankful for what we have.  Here are some great quotes to remind us to live in the present.

Conceptual Image - Stairway to change/freedom/creativity etc.

Yesterday is gone.  Tomorrow has not yet come.  We have only today.  Let us begin.  ~Mother Teresa

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.  ~William Allen White

Nothing is worth more than this day.  ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Seize this day and put the least possible trust in tomorrow.  ~Horace

The world of tomorrow belongs to the person who has the vision today.  ~Robert Schuller

Don’t put off for tomorrow what you can do today because if you enjoy it today, you can do it again tomorrow.  ~James A Michener


Boost esteem with kindness

clip couple looking at cardWhen someone treats you with kindness, how do you feel?  Does it fill you with warmth and happiness?   How about when you treat someone else with kindness?  Does it produce the same results?  Kindness has benefits for both the receiver and the giver.

Research shows that acts of kindness can actually cause a “helpers high” due to a release of endorphins which are the body’s natural pain-killers.  After the rush of euphoria, there is a period of calmness and feeling of emotional well-being.  This can improve health issues, lower stress, increase energy and create a positive outlook on life.

Kindness is a good way to help boost esteem in others.  If we say kind words and do nice things, it will make people feel good about themselves.  It shows that we care about them and that they have value.  Here are some ideas:

  • Smile and say hello
  • Make a sincere compliment (Your hair looks lovely today/I like your outfit.)
  • Send them a handwritten card or letter
  • Give a meaningful touch (gentle hug, pat on the back, handshake)
  • Say something good about the person in front of others (John did such a good job helping me clean the garage today.)
  • Be encouraging and supportive
  • Help them with a task

Kindness can also boost esteem in yourself.  Always use positive words when talking to yourself (either out loud or in your mind).  Never criticize or tear yourself down.   Here are some ideas:

  • I’m not very fast but always do the best I can
  • Helping other people makes me feel good
  • I made a mistake, but I learned something new and I’ll do better next time
  • I may not be good playing sports, but I sure like watching them.
  • People make fun of my clothing but I like my own styles and I feel comfortable

Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are.  ~Author Unknown
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.  ~Mark Twain
Kindness, like a boomerang, always returns.  ~Author Unknown
No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted” ~ Aesop
Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.  ~Seneca


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My favourite quotes about God

Jesus and doveNo God, no peace.  Know God, know peace.  ~Author Unknown

Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.  ~Garth Brooks   God enters by a private door into each individual.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Any fool can count the seeds in an apple.  Only God can count all the apples in one seed.  ~Robert H. Schuller

Every evening I turn my worries over to God.  He’s going to be up all night anyway.  ~Mary C. Crowley  

God understands our prayers even when we can’t find the words to say them.  ~Author Unknown

What we are is God’s gift to us.  What we become is our gift to God.  ~Eleanor Powell

You can tell the size of your God by looking at the size of your worry list.  The longer your list, the smaller your God.  ~Author Unknown

God:  The most popular scapegoat for our sins.  ~Mark Twain

People see God every day, they just don’t recognize him.  ~Pearl Bailey

Let God’s promises shine on your problems.  ~Corrie Ten Boom

God’s gifts put man’s best dreams to shame.  ~Elizabeth Barrett Browning

I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle.  I just wish that He didn’t trust me so much.  ~Mother Teresa

Are you wrinkled with burden?  Come to God for a faith lift.  ~Author Unknown

Peace on the outside comes from knowing God on the inside.  ~Author Unknown

I would rather walk with God in the dark than go alone in the light.  ~Mary Gardiner Brainard

Exercise daily.  Walk with the Lord!  ~Author Unknown



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February is the month of love

1380773_10201538680441563_629583717_nWhen February comes, people tend to think about love which can be a happy occasion if you have that ‘special someone” in your life.  Valentine’s Day will be here soon and people are starting to buy cards, gifts and make plans for that special evening.  Of course, if you don’t have a ‘special someone’, this can be a difficult month for you.   I remember my younger years when I didn’t have anyone to share my heart with.   Of course my dad was always really sweet, making sure we all got our special treat on Valentine’s Day.  Then once I was married, I thought everything would be different.  Now I had my real Valentine.   On that special day, my gift was all ready and I wondered what I would receive.  I didn’t realize that every man was not like my day, and I received nothing.  My husband simply had never celebrated Valentine’s Day growing up in his country and this was a custom that he never did follow to this day.   It used to hurt me at first but over the years I began to realize that I placed way too much importance on something so small.  I was surrounded by family that loved me and chocolates would never take their place.

If you have a loved one that doesn’t seem to care about Valentine’s Day, remember that it is just another day.  Don’t let the media make you feel like you are missing out on something.  Getting ‘stuff’ does not show love.  Actions show love.  Why not ask your loved one if they would like to do something special, like going out for dinner or just watching a movie together.  This is so much better than being miserable and you will save money.  You don’t really need that box of chocolates or bunch of flowers.  If you want them that bad, go out and buy some and then share it with your loved one.  There is nothing wrong with pampering yourself, you deserve it!

If you don’t have a loved one this Valentine’s Day, don’t be discouraged or feel depressed.   Why not ask some friends to go out somewhere and celebrate the evening.   You probably know people that are also feeling unloved and need someone to show them that they are important.  Don’t stay home alone and be miserable.  If you are totally alone, make some popcorn and watch a funny movie.  There is nothing wrong with enjoying your own company.  Then get out there and join a group or something and make some friends so you will have someone to spend time with when the next Valentine’s Day rolls around.  Take action and be your own cupid!

Here are some quotes about love…………….

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. ~Author unknown

You know you’re in love when you don’t want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.  ~Dr. Seuss

You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving.  ~Author Unknown

We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.  ~Tom Robbins

Love is not a matter of what happens in life.  It’s a matter of what’s happening in your heart.  ~Ken Keyes

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. ~Lao Tzu

You really shouldn’t say “I love you” unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget. ~Author unknown, attributed to an 8-year-old named Jessica

Love is what makes two people sit in the middle of a bench when there is plenty of room at both ends.  ~Author Unknown

Love is when you can be your true self with someone, and you only want to be your true self because of them. ~Terri Guillemets

It is not necessary to be strong in every place if in the place you are vulnerable, you are loved.  ~Robert Brault

True love is when you put someone on a pedestal, and they fall – but you are there to catch them.  ~Author Unknown



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Our problems are not really problems

BOY THINKINGIs there anyone in the world who doesn’t have problems?  Of course not.  Problems happen to everyone, good or bad.  They are an inevitable part of life and we can’t do anything to stop problems from happening.

However, the problem is not usually the issue.  It is how we handle the problem that is the issue.  If we have a positive attitude, we can deal with almost any situation and make necessary changes so our lives will be better.  If we have a negative attitude, we won’t be able to deal with the situation and we will likely just complain and be miserable which won’t help us at all.

Problems are wake up calls, telling us that there is something that needs changing in our life.  When we have a problem, we also have a choice as to what we will do.   This is where our attitude comes in.   Will we deal with the situation with a positive or negative attitude?

Eldridge Cleaver once quoted, “You’re either part of the solution or you’re part of the problem”.  Problems will never disappear from your life so why not deal with them in an effective way by having a positive attitude and be part of the solution!

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Don’t give up

girl studying

For the past 4 weeks, I’ve been trying to write a novel for the  NaNoWriMo challenge.  Unfortunately, there have been too many interruptions and I’ve only been able to write about 12,000 words.  At the rate I’m going, it will take me to February to complete the novel.  Too bad it wasn’t a NaFebWriMo challenge!  Anyway, I’m going to continue writing the novel and hopefully I’ll have it done by next year.  Another 12 months will give me lots of time to finish it and make any necessary changes to ensure it is worthy of being entered along with all the other great novels that are written.

If you have completed your challenge, BRAVO and GOOD LUCK!  If you are in the same boat as I am, don’t give up on what you have already accomplished.  Just keep writing and enter next year.  Sometimes it takes a while to write a great book.

“Between you and every goal that you wish to achieve, there is a series of obstacles, and the bigger the goal, the bigger the obstacles. Your decision to be, have and do something out of the ordinary entails facing difficulties and challenges that are out of the ordinary as well. Sometimes your greatest asset is simply your ability to stay with it longer than anyone else.”

~ Brian Tracy



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Empower your children

Grandparents posing with grandchildrenWhat does empower mean?  It means to give someone the power to do something, the ability or the right to control people or things.

Do you want to control your children or do you want them to learn how to control themselves?  When we try to control our children and make them do what we want them to do, we are forcing them to do our will and not allowing them to make choices.   This does not teach children how to be responsible adults and they will grow up unable to control their own lives.

We do have to set boundaries and discipline our children, but we need to make sure that we are teaching them how to make good decisions and allowing them to face the consequences of their actions.

Parents can empower their children by giving them a loving, secure environment to grow up in.  This can be done by being a good role model and influencing them in a positive way.

Empower your children with the following tools:

  • unconditional love
  • encouragement
  • discipline (not punishment)
  • understanding
  • empathy
  • trust
  • respect
  • support
  • kindness
  • security

Whatever they grow up to be, they are still our children, and the one most important of all the things we can give to them is unconditional love.  Not a love that depends on anything at all except that they are our children.  ~Rosaleen Dickson