imconfident

I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

A thought on happiness

POSTER L36 YOU CAN'T BE HAPPY ALL THE TIME

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The Tender Twenty Paradox (and Miley’s big mistake)

A very well written piece on Miley Cyrus!

The Beggar's Bakery

By: Jana Greene

thebeggarsbakery.net

I must admit that curiosity got the best of me, and I watched the clip of the Miley Cyrus debacle at the MTV VMA awards.

My first reaction was total disgust. Miley is only twenty years old! And then a primal urge to find this world-famous woman-child, and smother her in hugs. Sometimes the mother in me just overwhelms every other instinct.

She is so in-between.

In her racy act, her suggestive wardrobe and antics  tried to convey woman; but her poor judgment screams child.

Her ‘twerking’ tells the world she knows what to do with her lady parts, but the fact that she flaunted her lady parts publically lets us all know that she is still a child. Or that she is high on more than just life, or could be mentally unstable. There is more to being a grown-up than grinding. Nothing says “paradox” like…

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What are we doing to our children?

Happy Family Laughing in BedLast year when I started blogging, I wrote an article called, What are we doing to our young people today.   If you haven’t read the article, you can click here https://imconfident.wordpress.com/2012/11/03/what-are-we-doing-to-our-young-people-today/  In my article, I pointed out the negative affects that the media has on our young people and how they don’t have enough good, positive role models.

Today I read a few blogs and articles about an incident at the VMA Awards that involved Miley Cyrus, a once innocent young Disney star who played the role of Hannah Montana.   I didn’t see the actual program as I rarely watch TV anymore (don’t feel there is much worth watching).  I only saw the pictures, but that was enough for me.  This young woman who used to be a positive role model for young girls, has now shown the world how little respect she has for her own body by prancing around the stage in a sexual manner.  Her performance sends out a very negative message to both women and men and encourages inappropriate sexual behaviours.

Parents and caregivers need to provide their children with a positive, loving atmosphere to grow up in.   They need to help their children build esteem so they will respect themselves and others around them.  They need to teach their children right from wrong and help them make good choices.  TV viewing, internet and cell phone use need to be restricted according to a child’s age so they are not viewing any inappropriate content that will affect them in a negative way.   Growing up in a loving, positive environment will help a child build esteem so they will be much better equipped to handle all the negative peer pressure and media pressure that they will encounter.

It is a tough world to grow up in.  We need to make sure it isn’t any tougher than it has to be.  Be a positive role model to your children and everyone around you so they will become a responsible, caring adult.

What are you doing to your children?

Are you a good role model?

How are you affecting their character?

Are you protecting them from any negative influences?

What kind of person do you want your child to become?

Children are our greatest asset and we need to treat them with the utmost care.  They are the future leaders of the world.  Let’s take responsibility and start raising them properly!

 

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Is your life on cruise control?

lady driving a carMany of us have vehicles with cruise control.  You know that little gadget that lets you cruise along without paying attention to your speed.   It makes driving a little easier, knowing that you are maintaining a consistent speed.  The journey is smooth, easy and predictable but not very exciting.

The problem is, many of us are also using cruise control in our lives.  We move along at the same pace, doing what is comfortable and not really paying attention to everything that is going on around us.  We do the same thing every day and never open ourselves up to any changes or challenges.  This gets us to the same place every day but is this a good place to be?

Living life on cruise control is allowing life to control you, instead of being in control of your life.  It may be comfortable but it won’t make you happy and you won’t enjoy the ride.

In order to experience life fully, you need to turn off the cruise control and make some purposeful choices that will help you grow.  Open your eyes, listen and learn.  Be aware of what is going on around you. You might go the wrong way and you won’t always be going the same speed, but your journey will take you to some amazing places.  Take control of your life today!

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Childhood doesn’t wait

grandma on a bench

POEM ….author unknown

I was sitting on a bench while in a nearby mall,

When I noticed a young mother with two children who were small.

The youngest one was whining, “Pick me up,” I heard him beg

But the mother’s face grew angry as the child clung to her leg.

“Don’t hang on to me,” she shouted as she pushed his hands away,

I wish I’d had the courage to go up to her and say…

“The time will come too quickly when those little arms that tug,

Won’t ask for you to hold them or won’t freely give a hug.”

“The day will sneak up subtly just as it did with me,

When you can’t recall the last time that your child sat on your knee.”

“Like those sacred, pre-dawn feedings when we cherished time alone

Our babies grow and leave behind those special times we’ve known.”

So when your child comes to you with a book that you can share,

Or asks that you would tuck him in and help him say his prayer…

When he comes to sit and chat or would like to take a walk,

Before you answer that you can’t `cause there’s no time to talk,

Remember what all parents learn so many times too late,

That years go by too quickly and that childhood doesn’t wait.

Take every opportunity, if one should slip away

Reach hard to get it back again, don’t wait another day.

I watched that mother walk away her children followed near,

I hope she’ll pick them up before her chances disappear.

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The egg lesson

chicken holding eggHow much does an egg weigh?  Not much, maybe a few ounces.  So it wouldn’t be too heavy to hold for a while, right?

If I asked you to hold your hand out and placed an egg in your palm, how long do you think you could hold it before you would start to feel pain in your hand and arm?  A few seconds, a minute, an hour, all day?

You could probably hold it for a few minutes before your hand and arm started to hurt and feel numb, but you would not likely be able to hold it all day or even for an hour.

Now, an egg is certainly not heavy, so why would you feel more pain the longer you held it in your hand?  It doesn’t get any heavier just because you hold it longer.

How could you avoid having pain?   The answer is easy.  Just let the egg go back in the tray.

What is the life lesson that we can learn from the egg?  The egg represents our problems.  If we hold on to our problems for just a short period of time and then let them go, we don’t feel much pain.  However, the longer we hold on to our problems, the more pain we have.  If we continue to hold on to our problems day after day, we can become paralyzed with pain and we will stay stuck in one place.

We have to learn to let go of our problems as quickly as possible so we can continue to move ahead in life.  How can we do this?  Here are some ideas:

  • admit that you have a problem
  • understand that this problem is causing you pain
  • be willing to feel your pain
  • take action to resolve the problem if this is possible
  • work on overcoming your fears
  • talk to someone you can trust
  • believe in a higher power whom you can release your problem to

Try not to continue hanging on to your problems.  They are hurting you and causing unnecessary pain and stress.  Write down your problems and really look at them.  Are they worth carrying with you throughout life?

More relationships are destroyed by holding onto problems that are not even worth the time and effort we spend on them.  Every day has new situations that need to be faced and we should be ready to deal with these instead of dragging around old problems.   At the end of each day, take action to resolve any problems that have come up and start each day fresh with no added stress from the past.

Don’t hold on to that egg any longer that you have to!  Let it go and release your burden.  Enjoy your life, you deserve it!happy face with bird

 

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The Paradox of Our Time

This is a wonderfully written piece that brings many of my thoughts together. Many people think they have so much in this world today, but in reality, they have very little of what is really important. People are far more valuable than any possessions yet too often we don’t take the time to cherish our loved ones and realize that our life on earth is very short. Today is all we have. Yesterday is gone and we may not be here tomorrow. Spend time with your loved ones today and show them how valuable they are. Remember that you are valuable too!

Morning Story and Dilbert

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less. We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgement; more experts, yet more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom and hate too often.

We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life, not life to years. We’ve been…

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Happiness is found inside

open boxes with tiesMany people believe that happiness is something they can find in outside sources.   They fill up their lives with empty relationships, expensive products and worthless services.   New friends, expensive cars, big houses, long vacations and nice clothing are common commodities in the search for happiness.

The problem is, happiness can’t be found in something outside ourselves, except for a short period of time.  When you have that new thing, of course it will make you happy, but your happiness won’t last for long.  You will soon lose interest and want something bigger or better.

Research shows time and time again that outside sources will only bring temporary happiness.   We must find happiness within ourselves by building our confidence and increasing our self-esteem.  This is done by becoming aware of who we really are and learning to love ourselves (not in a vain or egotistical way).   Say positive affirmations daily, stop yourself from thinking negative thoughts and focus on your strengths and abilities.  Surround yourself with positive people, places and things.   Happiness can be found but you need to work on making positive changes in your life.  Start today!

 

 

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You’re alive – let’s celebrate!!

be happy you're alive

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10 things that small children teach us

little girl in redSmall children are in many ways wiser than most adults.  They see life through eyes that are innocent, trusting and uncomplicated.  Children don’t have all the baggage that we collect as we go through life.  If we start teaching them proper values right from the day they are born and continue to reinforce these values by being a positive role model, they will grow up to be responsible, caring adults.    Small children can actually teach adults some valuable lessons.  Here are just a few:

1) How to express feelings – You can just look at a child’s face and know whether they are happy, sad, upset or angry.  They don’t hide their feelings like many adults do.

2) How to fail successfully – Watch a child who is learning to walk.  They fall, get up, fall again, get up, fall again……. They don’t beat themselves up for failing and they don’t care what you think.  They just keep trying until they are successful.

3) How to forgive – Fighting over toys is a common occurrence but it doesn’t take long before long they are playing happily together again.  They don’t hold grudges.Boys Laughing with Video Game

4) How to enjoy life – Young children enjoy having fun and don’t care if there is always a purpose to what they are doing.

5) How to be a good friend – Having friends is important to our happiness.  Children are never too busy to spend time with their friends.

6) How to be open-minded – Trying new things is easy for young children as they haven’t set any habits, good or bad.  They ask lots of questions because they are eager to learn.

boy with binoculars

7) How to focus on one thing – Young children concentrate on doing just one thing.  They don’t get all stressed out by trying to multi-task.

8) How to use imagination – Our dreams and goals are fuelled by our imagination.  Children use this ability to discover new and exciting things.

9) How to exercise – Young children are always on the go.  They love playing games, running, jumping and anything else that involves body movement.  Exercise is fun!

10) How to love others – Love is the most important thing and children just naturally love those around them.   They don’t know anything about hate until they see it demonstrated by those around them.

What have you learned from your children or the children you are in contact with?

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