imconfident

I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

Are you a full time or part time parent?

Family Eating An Al Fresco MealParenting is a full time job that requires a lot of time and effort.  Finding time in this busy world can be a real challenge but it is important if you want your children to become responsible, caring adults.  You can’t be a part-time parent if you want a full-time child and a full-time family.  Parents need to be actively involved in the lives of their children and show them how valuable they are.  If you have too many things going on in your life, determine what is really important and cut out anything that you don’t really have to do.  You DO NOT have to be a super-person like the world tells us.  You just have to do the best you can and being a good parent is far more important that most other things.

Take the time to teach your children to:

  • love themselves and love others
  • be a positive role model
  • have good manners
  • be encouraging and supportive
  • communication effectively
  • spend valuable time with their family and friends
  • set and work towards realistic goals
  • accept failure and learn from their mistakes
  • be a responsible, caring adult
  • be thankful for what they have
  • help others and show kindness
  • never give up

Remember that everything has consequences.  If you take the time to teach your children important things, the whole family will benefit.  However if you don’t take the time to teach your children important things, the whole family will suffer and there will be a lot of problems to deal with.    The choice is yours.

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Educate your child to learn from experiences

Today I have a guest post from William Richmond who is a freelance writer.  His writing interest is mainly about student development.   A short bio follows his post.  You can click on the link to the site he is working for.

Educate Your Child to Learn from Experiences

Introduction:

Since this author believes that life is all about being a series of experiences, good and otherwise, the experiencing business starts veritably from childhood. The first smile on seeing its Mom’s face, its first suck at mammary glands so tenderly offered, its first tottering steps, the first day at school, graduation, post graduation , career, marriage and having children of one’s own, retirement, disease and finally death – these all are life experiences that cannot be forgot during one’s lifetime. Yet it is necessary to learn and imbibe from one’s experiences, and the best time to do it is during childhood when the mind is more tender, sharper and deeply receptive and responsive to experiences. That being said, it is necessary to consider how to educate one’s child to learn from life experiences:

  1. Experiences are indeed the stepping stones to success.A child who does not totter and fall does not learn to walk. A child who is scared of spellings and dictations does not learn the language. Children need to experience and learn from all their experiences, good and bad. They should learn that playing with fire could burn them, or playing in the rain could help them catch cold and fever. The first time a child plays in the rain and gets ill, the next time he dreads going out in the rains. A child must not only learn from its own experiences but also from the experiences of others. He should know that if he does not study well, he may not pass the exams, as his friends have not done well because they did not study well and thus, did not pass. Your child learns from the experiences of others and avoids committing the mistakes they did.

 

  1. Put yourself in the shoes of the other’s experience: It is necessary to empathize in order to be successful in life. If a doctor does not experience the pain of a patient he may not be able to treat or cure him. If the teacher does not care to understand why the student does not do well in her class, she is not a good teacher. Each should try to experience the discomfort and sufferings of the other in order to be more successful and caring. Similarly, a child must be able to benefit from the experiences of, say his pet dog, in order to offer better care and affection to the mute animal. The learning education gained from the child’s own experiences at home, at the learning institutions, with his friends and associates, even in a cinema or restaurant, to always do well and avoid doing harm to one and to others should be enforced early on in life, in order to gain lasting benefits.

 Conclusion:

Both sides of  life experiences of children need to be differentiated and also a child needs to know and differentiate between colors of life and living from early age in order to be more responsible, responsive and pro active in life and all that it has to offer in a lifetime, good or otherwise.

William Richmond is a freelance writer and currently working for Bestdissertationwriting.net, an online best dissertation writing review site. He writes mostly about topics related to students’ development like improving their attitude towards study process, character improvements, etc.

 

 

 

 

 

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What are your strengths?

I am a great cook!

I am a great cook!

Do you know what your strengths are?  Many of us spend so much time thinking about our weaknesses that we forget we even have any strengths.  It seems to be a lot easier to think about what is wrong with ourselves than what is right with ourselves.  We focus on our weaknesses and our failures instead of our strengths and successes.

It is important that we realize what our strengths are and focus on them so we can feel good about ourselves.  This will help us become more confident and help increase our esteem.  We also have to realize that we have weaknesses and learn to accept them.   We should try to work on improving our weak areas but we should never put ourselves down because we can’t be strong in everything.

Take some time today to actually think about your strengths.  Make a list so you can remind yourself every day.   Add any new strengths to the list when you become aware of them.  Here are some ideas to get you started:

  • I am very organized
  • I am always on time
  • I can fix cars
  • I am very understanding
  • I am a good listener
  • I am a good teacher
  • I can sew/knit/cook/clean
  • I can sing/dance/swim/play soccer
  • I am a terrific grandparent

Many people aren’t even aware of their strengths.  If you have any trouble making a list, ask a family member or friend to help you.  Sometimes other people see things in us that we don’t see.

 

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Do a daily review

RFpencilEvery day we do many of the same things and a large part of these things are done by habit.  We don’t always stop and think about what we are doing and this is a good thing in many cases.  Why?  Because we wouldn’t get anything accomplished if we had to stop and think about each small thing that we did like getting dressed and eating.  We would never get out of the house if we had to think about all the actions required to just get dressed in the morning.  Wow!  Just think about that!  Lift your arm, put your leg here, step this way……

However many of our habits are not good for us, so it would be a good idea if we actually stopped to think about some of the things we are doing.  It would really benefit us if we took the time to consider what we are thinking and what we are doing.   Being aware of our words and actions could help eliminate a lot of stress and misery in our lives.

A daily review is a great way to gather our thoughts and consider what we have done that day.  Take some quiet time at some point during the day to sit down and write in a journal.   Ask yourself, “What did I accomplish today?”  This doesn’t have to be a list of major tasks.  It can be small things that seem unimportant but are necessary.  Here are some examples:

  • I got out of bed early
  • I made a healthy breakfast
  • I left for work/school on time
  • I completed my to-do list
  • I called and made an important appointment
  • I cleaned the house
  • I fed the dog
  • I went for a walk
  • I spend 30 minutes of quiet time

If you did something that you felt bad about (incomplete tasks, failures), what were they and how can you improve next time?  Here are some examples:

  • I didn’t make my bed this morning – tomorrow I will make sure I do
  • I didn’t complete my homework/house cleaning – tomorrow I will finish what I start
  • I was too busy to take my 20 minutes of quiet time that I promised myself – tomorrow I will set aside 30 minutes of quiet time
  • I didn’t hug my husband/wife/children today and didn’t spend time with them – I will put a note on the fridge and a reminded in my phone to do this tomorrow for sure
  • I was late for my appointment today – I will set my alarm to remind myself an hour before my next appointment so I won’t be late

What will your daily review look like?

 

 

 

 

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DAD – you are important!

Father Watching His Infant SleepDads – do you have any idea how important you are to your children?

In today’s world, many children are being raised in fatherless homes because of marriage breakdowns, relationship issues and mainly just because people have trouble with commitment.    Bringing a child into the world is a huge responsibility and it requires a lot of time and patience.  A child needs the love and attention of two parents who work together selflessly for the good of their family.

When fathers are not involved in their children’s lives, it hampers their well-being and future successes.  Research clearly shows that fathers leave a huge impression on their children, especially their daughters.  When young girls have a close, loving relationship with their fathers, they have a much better change of having good relationships with other people, especially any males in their lives.

Being a dad is an important job and one that should last through a child’s entire life, even when they become an adult.    If you haven’t had a good relationship with your own dad, it may be hard for you to understand what it even means to be a good dad.   Being a good dad means that you show love and respect to your child, paying attention to their needs, setting appropriate guidelines for them and spending time with them.

If you are a dad, please be involved in the life of your children!   Be loving, be caring, be responsible.  Show your family that they are an important part of your life and be a positive role model for them.

 

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Do you lie to yourself?

confident man in suit3Let’s face it.  We are all liars.  Some people are worse than others, but during our lifetime, everyone has told at least a few lies or twisted the truth.   If we develop strong moral values, lying will become difficult and we will always try hard to be open and honest.

Did you know that many people lie to themselves every day?  We tell ourselves lies about who we are, the way we look, what we can do and how good we are.  Have you ever told yourself these lies:

  • I’m not good enough
  • I’m worthless
  • I don’t measure up
  • I can’t do anything right
  • Nobody likes me

Where did you hear these lies?  Many of us grew up in environments where we were continuously put down, criticized and belittled by other family members,  friends or teachers.  Some of us were bullied.  Some got into abusive relationships.  Others got too involved in the media, watching TV and reading materials that pointed out our flaws and imperfections.

No matter how it happened, we heard these lies, believed them and kept repeating them to ourselves over and over again.  Our minds developed a habit of negative thinking and we got stuck in a pattern of living those lies and hurting ourselves repeatedly.

It’s time to stop lying to ourselves.   We have to start taking control of our negative thinking and start telling ourselves the truth.   What people told us years ago may not even be true and it certainly does not define who we are today.  Any past mistakes are gone and done with and we need to focus on who we are today.

Take some time and write down the lies that you believe about yourself.   Are they really true?  Probably not at all.   Now replace these lies with a truth about yourself and develop a habit of positive thinking.  This may be difficult at first, but keep trying it until you totally forget about those horrible lies.

Here are some suggestions:

  • LIE – I am worthless.  REPLACE WITH THE TRUTH – I am valuable.
  • LIE – I am stupid.  REPLACE WITH THE TRUTH – I am creative.
  • LIE – Nobody likes me.  REPLACE WITH THE TRUTH  – I have good friends.
  • LIE – I can’t do anything right.  REPLACE WITH THE TRUTH – I always try my best

If you want to learn more about positive thinking and building esteem, visit my website at http://www.imconfident.com.

 

 

 

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What kind of attitude do you have?

Couple Sharing Bread in Seaside RestaurantAn attitude is how you evaluate people, places and things.   Attitudes are formed through life experiences and show how you feel, think and act.

Depending on the environment you grew up in, the people you surround yourself with and how immersed you are in the media, you may have developed a more positive or a more negative attitude.  When you are in a positive environment, you will tend to be more positive and likely have a positive attitude.  When you are in a negative environment, you will tend to be more negative and likely have a negative attitude.

The good thing is, you don’t have to keep the attitude you have.   If you learn about positive thinking and practice what you learn, you will develop a habit of being positive.

When you meet someone who has a negative attitude, how does it make you feel?  If they are being nasty, mean or picking on you, it certainly won’t make you feel very good.   Negative people can pull down your mood and make you very unhappy.

If you are confronted by someone with a negative attitude, just be thankful that you aren’t that person and give them a smile back.  You DON’T have to let their bad mood get to you.

What kind of attitude do you have?  Are you the positive person that people like to meet or are you the negative person that people try to avoid?

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A question about love

scratching headA quick question for today……

Which way is better?

1) Love ourselves and control people?

OR

2) Love people and control ourselves?

Confused?

Think about the first option.  Loving ourselves is being selfish and self-centered, putting ourselves first.  When we love ourselves, we tend to control other people so they will please us and meet our needs.  Does this make us happy?  Maybe for a while.  Does it make the person being controlled happy?  No, of course not.  Who wants to be controlled?  So if the people around you are being controlled, they aren’t happy and you won’t be happy for long unless you get a twisted satisfaction from making other people miserable.  Therefore option number one doesn’t seem to be very good.

Let’s think about the second option.  Loving other people is being caring and kind, putting others first.  When we love others, we are in control of our emotions because we accept other people for who they are despite their flaws and imperfections.  We don’t expect them to meet our needs because we are secure in who we are.  Controlling ourselves may be difficult but it is better than trying to control everyone else and making them miserable.  So if we love others and control ourselves, we will make other people happy and in turn find happiness ourselves.

Now what was your answer to the question?   Is the first or second option better?  If you didn’t pick the second one, you should probably consider working on becoming more positive about life.  The choice is yours.  You can stay stuck in old patterns of control and self-centeredness or learn to control your emotions and become a more loving person.  I decided to choose the second option and it has really changed my life for the better!

 

 

 

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What makes a good leader?

leader with groupA leader is someone who influences the people around them.  A good leader will have a positive influence and a bad leader will have a negative influence.

What makes a good leader?  There are a lot of things that contribute to someone being a good leader.   It can be a mixture of:

  • responsibility
  • confidence
  • determination
  • dependability
  • resourcefulness
  • having a positive attitude
  • good communication skills

These are all important factors, but research shows that the most important thing leaders need is humility.   Humble leaders are able to motivate their group or team and help them become successful.  A humble leader is someone who:

  • leads by example and not by control
  • is ethical and always does the right thing, even when it isn’t popular
  • works together with all team members, recognizing the strengths of everyone
  • can admit making mistakes
  • works for the good of the group or team and not themselves

What kind of leader are you?

 

 

 

 

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Do you keep your word?

clip shaking handsHave you made any promises lately?

  • I promise we’ll get together for lunch sometime
  • I promise to fix the fence this week
  • I promise to get you a new pair of boots
  • I promise to take out the garbage later
  • I promise to spend time with  you tomorrow

People make promises all the time, but how often do we keep our promises?  Sadly many people make and break promises all the time and don’t even seem to care.

The dictionary defines a promise as:

  • ‘a statement telling someone who you will definitely do something or that something will definitely happen in the future
  • an indication of future success or improvement
  • a reason to expect that something will happen in the future

This tells me that a promise is something that is binding like a contract and I have always tried hard to make sure that I kept my promises.  Of course, being human, I probably have made a few that I haven’t kept.  However, I feel very strongly that a promise is important and unless it is impossible to keep that promise, I will follow through or at least let the person know why I can’t.

Years ago when people made a promise to someone, they kept that promise.   Contracts were even made just by the shake of a hand and a promise.    Today the word ‘promise’ is just another word that often means absolutely nothing.   The problem is, when you break a promise, it breaks trust with that person and may even break the relationship.

If you really value your relationships and you want people to trust and respect you, make sure you don’t make any promises that you can’t keep.  It is far better not to make a promise if you do not plan on following through.

Losers make promises they often break. Winners make commitments they always keep. ~Denis Waitley

Promises are like crying babies in a theater, they should be carried out at once. ~Norman Vincent Peale

We must not promise what we ought not, lest we be called on to perform what we cannot. ~Abraham Lincoln

Promise only what you can deliver. Then deliver more than you promise. ~Author Unknown

 

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