imconfident

I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

Are your problems heavy?

How heavy are your problems?  Do they burden you down and make you feel exhausted?  We think about our problems over and over again until we feel the pressure and pain of stress.   Most of us don’t even realize that we are carrying such a heavy weight around with us.

man with burden

I heard a story about a lecturer who was talking to a group about stress management.  He asked them how much a glass of water would weigh.  Of course it only weighs a few ounces.  But  if you held that glass of water for a period of time what would happen?

  • if you held the glass for a few minutes, nothing would happen
  • if you held the glass for an hour, your hand and arm would start to hurt
  • if you held the glass for 24 hours, you would probably have a lot of pain, your hand and arm would become numb or paralyzed and you might have to go to the hospital

So why would you have so much pain when the glass didn’t weigh very much?    This is because the longer you hold on to something, the heavier it becomes.  The same goes for our problems.  If we hold onto them for a long period of time, they will cause unavoidable pain and stress.  If you think about your problems all day, day after day, they will end up paralyzing you and you won’t be able to do anything.

How can we avoid having pain and stress?   If you are holding a glass, the answer is simple.  Just let go of the glass and put it down.  If you are holding onto your problems, the answer is simple but harder to do.   Just let go of your problems and put down your burden.  Don’t keep carrying your problems around.  Try to resolve them if you can.  It will take some time and effort but if you are persistent and patient, the results will be positive.

hands outstretched with hears

Give your stress wings and let it fly away. ~Terri Guillemets

Let go and let God.  ~Unknown

Inner peace can be reached only when we practice  forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of the past,  and is therefore the means for correcting our misperceptions.  ~Gerald Jampolsky

There’s an important difference between giving up and letting go.   ~Jessica Hatchigan

Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.  ~Ann Landers

Think about any attachments that are depleting your emotional reserves. Consider letting them go.  ~Oprah Winfrey

Ask yourself this question:  Will this matter a year from now?  ~Richard Carlson Ph.D

Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.  ~Herman Hesse
 
Let go. Why do you cling to pain? There is nothing you can do about the wrongs of yesterday. It is not yours to judge. Why hold on to the very thing which keeps you from hope and love?  ~Leo Buscaglia

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The egg lesson

chicken holding eggHow much does an egg weigh?  Not much, maybe a few ounces.  So it wouldn’t be too heavy to hold for a while, right?

If I asked you to hold your hand out and placed an egg in your palm, how long do you think you could hold it before you would start to feel pain in your hand and arm?  A few seconds, a minute, an hour, all day?

You could probably hold it for a few minutes before your hand and arm started to hurt and feel numb, but you would not likely be able to hold it all day or even for an hour.

Now, an egg is certainly not heavy, so why would you feel more pain the longer you held it in your hand?  It doesn’t get any heavier just because you hold it longer.

How could you avoid having pain?   The answer is easy.  Just let the egg go back in the tray.

What is the life lesson that we can learn from the egg?  The egg represents our problems.  If we hold on to our problems for just a short period of time and then let them go, we don’t feel much pain.  However, the longer we hold on to our problems, the more pain we have.  If we continue to hold on to our problems day after day, we can become paralyzed with pain and we will stay stuck in one place.

We have to learn to let go of our problems as quickly as possible so we can continue to move ahead in life.  How can we do this?  Here are some ideas:

  • admit that you have a problem
  • understand that this problem is causing you pain
  • be willing to feel your pain
  • take action to resolve the problem if this is possible
  • work on overcoming your fears
  • talk to someone you can trust
  • believe in a higher power whom you can release your problem to

Try not to continue hanging on to your problems.  They are hurting you and causing unnecessary pain and stress.  Write down your problems and really look at them.  Are they worth carrying with you throughout life?

More relationships are destroyed by holding onto problems that are not even worth the time and effort we spend on them.  Every day has new situations that need to be faced and we should be ready to deal with these instead of dragging around old problems.   At the end of each day, take action to resolve any problems that have come up and start each day fresh with no added stress from the past.

Don’t hold on to that egg any longer that you have to!  Let it go and release your burden.  Enjoy your life, you deserve it!happy face with bird

 

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What kind of baggage are you carrying?

carry suitcaseAs we travel along the pathway of life, we pick up problems and stuff them in our emotional baggage.  This often starts in our childhood and continues on into our adulthood.  By the time we start a serious relationship or get married, we are carrying lots of baggage.

Often we are taught to hide our emotions or push them aside and forget about them.  However, this doesn’t work.  It is normal to feel emotions and we need to acknowledge them.   Avoiding emotions will just result in physical, emotional, mental and spiritual problems that creates excess emotional baggage.  We have to learn how to control our emotions instead of allowing them to control us.

It’s time to unpack your baggage and find out what you are carrying around.  What is in your bags?  Is it anger?  Bitterness?  Hatred?  Pain from an abusive relationship?  A lonely childhood?  Unforgiveness?  Guilt?  A failure? Fear of something?  There are many things you can carry around with you.

Your baggage can be very heavy and hard to manage.   Don’t keep carrying them around with you.  Get rid of those past issues and try to move forward in life.  Find someone you can trust that can help you unpack your bags and sort through any issues you have.  Then try to put away all those things that have been weighting you down and causing you pain.

It is hard to let go of things that you have carried around for a long time, but you can take your baggage and throw it out the door.  Do yourself a favour and start flying through life without all those heavy bags.

 

 

 

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Altruism has significant health benefits

1 handAltruism is an “unselfish concern for the welfare of others”.   It is an ethical theory that was coined in the 19th century by Auguste Comte and it is antithesis to egoism.  Altruists believe that everyone has an obligation to help other people and they do unselfish acts of kindness to create happiness and relieve pain.

Volunteering is a form of altruism.   It has been proven that volunteering is a good way of helping yourself.   If you are feeling unworthy or think your life has no value, it can be very therapeutic to help someone else.  By putting the needs of others ahead of your own and focusing on their problems instead of your own, it can help you find a sense of purpose and direction.  Helping someone else to heal is a survival tactic that can provide healing from your own challenging and possibly tragic life events.   You can forget that your world is falling apart around you when you are busy helping build up others in need.

Scientific studies show that volunteering and doing acts of kindness can result in significant health benefits, both physical and mental, for those who perform them.   Here are some of the possible benefits:

  • stress relief
  • stronger immune system
  • decrease in physical pain
  • decrease of negative emotions
  • increase in positive emotions
  • calmness, improved emotional well-being
  • release of body’s natural painkillers
  • increase in self-esteem

When you see a smile on someone’s face, especially a child, and you realize that it is because of your act of kindness, it will bring warm feelings of contentment to your heart and this small, caring action is making the world a better place.

Don’t spend your time feeling sorry for yourself or being depressed and lonely.

Don’t spend your time wondering why people can’t be nicer to each other.

Don’t spend your time wishing the world was a better place.

Step outside of the self-imposed box that you have put yourself into and take action.  Find a local organization that interests you and volunteer some time.   Doing good for others will help you overpower any feelings of depression or loneliness, as I well know.  Once you become involved in an organization, you will soon begin to understand why so many people are interested in volunteering their time, talents and money to help others.

Let’s all try to make this world a better place by doing acts of kindness.  What have you got to lose?   Probably loneliness or depression.  What have you got to gain?  Better physical, mental and emotional health.

 

 

 

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