We are all on a quest to find happiness in life. The problem is, most of us are looking in the wrong places. For most of my life, I believed that happiness was found in how I looked, how smart I was, the people I connected with and the things I owned. But through all my searching, I’ve discovered that happiness comes from within ourselves. It is how we look at life, our perspective and our attitude.
I haven’t written a book on happiness (not yet) and I’m certainly not an expert in psychology, but I’ve read lots of books, done tons of research and have come to certain conclusions using the information I’ve gained along with personal experience. There seems to be unanimous agreements about what creates happiness and what doesn’t.
What do most people think will bring them happiness?
- leisure time
- being healthy
These things can bring happiness, but only for a temporary period of time and then people need more money or more stuff to make them happy again. There are lots of people who have money, power and possessions who are lonely and unhappy because they are never satisfied with what they have and don’t take time to make good relationships. Having lots of friends don’t always make you happy because they are often too busy with their own problems and can’t be there when you need them. Having lots of free time can make you happy, but after awhile it can get very boring and unchallenging. Being healthy is important, but there are many people who are healthy and not happy, yet there are lots of people with serious health issues that are very happy with their lives.
Nobody can be happy all the time because life will always have difficulties and turmoil. We have to endure relationship problems, school or work issues, illnesses, tragedies and deaths. There is no way you can avoid these problems but you can maintain a positive attitude and look towards a brighter future.
So what do we need to be happy? The most important thing is love. We need to love someone special and be loved in return. We also need to have a purpose in life, believe in ourselves and have faith.
The only person in this world that can make you happy is yourself. We give other people the power to make us happy and this doesn’t work because people are not predictable and then when they let us down, we blame them for our unhappiness. It isn’t even fair to expect other people to make us happy because it isn’t their responsibility, just as it isn’t your responsibility to make anyone else happy.
“Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.” ~Margaret Young