I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

Dress for success

5 friendsIf I told you to dress for success what would come to your mind?   A picture of a nice dress, a tailored suit?  Many of us think that we need to look good to be successful and this is certainly true, however being successful is not just how you look on the outside.   Success comes from your entire self, both outside and inside.

Have you ever been in a room of people when someone with a tremendous personality walks in?   It feels like the entire room lights up and becomes warmer.  People stop and turn to give their attention to this person because they exude confidence and success.   Is it because of the clothing they are wearing?  Is it because they are beautiful or handsome?  Not entirely.  They probably do look very nice, but it is their personality that shines from within.   What type of personality are you wearing?   Successful people are dressed from the inside out; their clothing is just the icing on the cake.

When I was a teen, I used to feel that wearing stylish clothing was important to having friends and being successful.   Everything I wore had to match and be without marks and flaws.  I couldn’t step out of the house without looking as perfect as possible and this attitude carried with me long into my adult years.  I realize now that the media had brainwashed me into believing everything important in life was tied up to how I looked.  How crazy is this?  People I didn’t even know were telling me how I should look and making me feel bad.  This craziness had a negative influence on my 2 daughters who were watching me and doing everything I did.   I certainly wasn’t a very good role model!

Instead of obsessing about how we look, we should try to build our confidence and increase our self-esteem so we can be happy about who we are and how we look.    It is important to try to look our best, but cost and style are not as important as having a good character and a positive attitude towards life.

Are you dressing for success?   Or are you trying to find success in your dress?


Mirror, mirror, on the wall

When you look in a mirror, what do you see?  Do you see flaws and imperfections?   Do you criticize yourself and feel bad about what you see.

Many people have distorted ideas about who they really are because they are not looking through their own eyes, but instead are looking through the eyes of the world.  Society is obsessed with beauty and body image and this makes us feel that there is something wrong with us.   We are too big or too small, too fat or too thin, too dark or too pale, too tall or too short.  It doesn’t matter what we look like, it isn’t right.  Or so we are led to believe.

What we see in the mirror should be a reflection of the person we really are, a unique and special individual.  It should reflect not just how we look on the outside, but also how we look on the inside.   Our confidence and self-esteem should shine brightly in the mirror.

The following drawing shows what happens when we don’t see ourselves clearly for who we are.   This was something I heard in a seminar and I tried to draw the mental picture that I saw.  It’s about a boy looking in the mirror and talking to himself – his mother hears him and asks a question – he replies.  Sorry, it’s not very good, but it should speak volumes about what I’m trying to say.

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A poem to share

I came across this poem that was written by a teen named Angie Flores.  I think it is really special and I wanted to share it.   It would be wonderful if all teens could believe in themselves, like she does.  The poem is called JUST BECAUSE.

Just because I have never done drugs, doesn’t mean I’m not cool.

Just because I am a virgin, doesn’t make me lame.

Just because I’m not a fighter, doesn’t mean I’m weak.

Just because I am not a party girl, doesn’t mean I can’t hang.

Just because I get good grades, doesn’t mean I’m a nerd.

Just because teachers like me, doesn’t mean I am teachers pet.

Just because I am not a rebel, doesn’t mean I’m scared.

Just because I am quiet, doesn’t mean I don’t speak up for what I believe in.

Just because I have morals, doesn’t make me a goodie two shoes.

Just because I walk away from trouble, doesn’t make me a pushover.

Just because I think before I act, doesn’t make me a loser.

I am who I am and this is who I shall forever be. I do not care what others think of me. Like me or not that is your choice. Accept me for who I am.

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