imconfident

I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

What are you investing your time in?

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Everyone invests their time in something, usually in whatever they are interested in the most.  Unfortunately, we don’t always invest our time in the things that are important.  Then when we get older, we realize that we have wasted a lot of time doing things that don’t matter and we have regrets.

Many people go through life trying to achieve success by obtaining power or making lots of money.  Others spend their lives wasting all their time and money pleasing themselves and just having fun.  Then one day they need support from their family and friends and wonder why they are all alone.

I certainly have regrets and wish that I could turn back the clock.  Many hours, days and weeks were wasted doing things that don’t even matter now.

  • Time spent working extra hours to make more money instead of going home and spending time with my family
  • Time spent working on projects that didn’t pan out and have long been forgotten
  • Time spent feeling sorry for myself instead of feeling sorry for other people and helping them out
  • Time spent reading books that filled up time and didn’t teach me anything valuable
  • Time spent watching TV programs and movies that filled up my mind with total garbage

Think carefully about what you spend your time doing.

  • Is it something that has value or something that is wasting your time?
  • Is it something that makes you a better person or does it lead you away from the important things in life?
  • Is it something that blesses other people or does it only please yourself?
  • Is it something that leads you where you want to be or is it leading you down a dead-end street?

Whatever you surround yourself with now will likely be what surrounds you in the future.   Make some positive changes in your life now and invest time in things of value.

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Are you walking dead?

Just because we are alive doesn’t mean we are living.  It is possible to be alive on the outside and dead on the inside.  If we are just doing the same thing every day without passion or purpose,we are basically walking around dead.  We may be breathing, moving, talking, working and interacting with other people but inside we might feel empty and alone.

Every day we should think about what we are doing and work towards some kind of goal.  It might be just a simple goal like getting up, getting dressed and going for a walk or it could be to start a course, join a group or write a book.  The more we focus on doing something positive in our lives, the more alive we will feel.

A good idea to get motivated is to make a list of goals, both short and long-term.  What do you enjoy doing?  What are you good at?  What do you want to achieve?  What do you need to do in order to get to where you want to be in life?

Instead of just going through each day, doing the same thing over and over again and feeling dead inside, start doing something that will help you get out of your rut and moving forward.  Surround yourself with positive people, places and things.  Here are some ideas:

  • make a list of your skills, abilities and interests
  • read motivational books and watch programs that will inspire you
  • join an interest group or a church that can provide ongoing support
  • take a course that deals with communication and learn how to build good relationships
  • work on a healthier lifestyle – eat proper foods, exercise, get enough sleep
  • try to focus on what is positive in life
  • learn to appreciate what you have
  • spend time helping other people – this will increase your level of happiness

Are you walking dead?  If the answer is yes, than start doing something about it today!  Don’t waste one more day feeling lost and alone.  TAKE ACTION and start living your life.

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What kind of example are you?

Unless we are completely alone, everything we say and do has an effect on other people.  We can be a good example or we can be a bad example depending on what kind of words and actions we are using.  The best thing we can do is to lead by example and have a positive impact on everyone around us, especially our children.

  • If you want your children to show respect to others, you can’t call people names and run them down.
  • If you want your children to tell the truth, you can’t call in sick to work and then go and play golf
  • If you want your children to be kind to others, you can’t ignore that homeless person lying on the ground
  • If you want your children to be healthy, you can’t eat unhealthy foods or abuse substances yourself

If you want your children to grow up to become responsible adults, you have to show them what a responsible adult looks like.  You can’t just tell them or try to force them into a mold.   They will learn best from your positive example.

This doesn’t mean that you should try to be a perfect parent.  There is no such thing!  Do the best you can and aim for excellence not perfection.  You will make mistakes.  Don’t try to cover them up and pretend you are perfect.  Show your child that you do fail but that you learn from your mistakes and keep trying to do better.

What kind of example are you?

 

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4 Roadblocks to Success

There are 3 major roadblocks to having success in your life.  These include your thoughts, your fears and external situations.

Roadblock #1 – Your thoughts

What you think about determines what direction your life will take.  If you think that you can’t do something, you probably won’t.  If you think something will be too hard, will require too much of your time or will cost you too much money, you won’t get very far.  Your negative thinking will likely stop you dead in your tracks before you even start anything.

However, if you think you can do something, you might just be able to accomplish what you set your mind to.  You have to change the way you think about something and have a positive attitude in order to make it become a possibility.

Roadblock #2 – Your fears

Fears can literally paralyze you and stop you from  moving ahead in life.  You can be afraid that you will make a mistake, that someone will laugh at you, that you will look stupid or that nobody else cares about what you are doing.  It is okay to be afraid of doing something as long as you work through your fear and focus on being successful.

Roadblock #3: External situations

There may be things in your life that can get in the way of reaching your goals.  You may not have enough money or enough education.  You may not be in the right place at the right time.  It is important that you figure out how to overcome any situations that get in your way.  If you need to earn more money, take more courses or even move to a different location, you need to do whatever it takes to having a successful life.

Roadblock #4 – Lack of commitment

In order to become successful, you have to make a commitment to working hard and keep going, even when things get tough.  You can’t just give up and quit when things don’t go as expected.  You have to realize that nothing comes easy in life except quitting.  Be committed and work hard towards your goals.

You CAN be successful.  Determine what roadblocks are holding you back from doing what you want to accomplish in life.  Write them down and ask yourself what you can change in order to have a more positive and successful life.

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A key point about love

If you want someone to love you more, you should start loving them more.   It can be hard to step out of your comfort zone but don’t just wait for the other person to show their love or you will likely be disappointed.  Be the strong one and show others that you care.  Show love to your husband.  Show love to your wife.  Show love to your kids.  Show love to everyone around you.  If you are a vessel of love, it will start to make other people feel good and they will likely return your love.  Love is powerful.  Use it as a tool to create closer relationships.

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Stop focusing on your problems

Everyone has problems in life.  We can’t live in a world surrounded by other people who are different than we are, and not expect to have problems.   Besides being different, we are also selfish by nature and expect everyone else to cater to our needs.  When we don’t get what we want, we often react in a negative way through anger, feeling sorry for ourselves or blaming someone else for our problems.

We can get so wound up in our problems that we forget to look for the good things in our lives.  We focus on the negatives and what we don’t have.  We think about our mistakes and what went wrong.  Our problems take over our lives and leave us feeling miserable, defeated and depressed.

If you want to have a happier, more fulfilling life, it is important that you stop focusing on your problems and start focusing on a solution to your problems.  Be consciously aware of what you are thinking and try to make positive changes.  Here are some ideas:

  • If you were to bake a cake and you burnt the edges, you could just toss out the cake, have a crying fit and feel bad about the situation.  OR…..You could cut off the burnt edges and cover the cake with some fluffy icing.  Problem fixed and you can pat yourself on the back for doing a good job.
  • If someone said to you some unkind words, you could run away and cry, feeling bad for yourself.   OR…You could ask them why they were unkind and if they were having a bad day.  Maybe they didn’t really mean to hurt you or you misunderstood what they said.  If they did intend to hurt you, then you could tell yourself that they were just unloading their pain on somebody and that you don’t have to take it personally.
  • If someone didn’t keep a promise they made, you could feel hurt and never talk to the person again.   OR…You could give them the benefit of the doubt and realize that maybe something happened to distract them.  Keep in communication with them and make sure you confirm any future promises.

Focusing on your problems will just keep you from being happy in life.  Try focusing on the good things, be thankful for what you have and work on possible solutions to any problems.

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Are you a multitasker?

In today’s society, multitasking is a normal way of living.  We chat on the phone while cooking, cleaning or doing laundry.  We send emails or text messages during a meeting or appointment.  We watch television while playing a game or reading a book.  Being able to do several things at one time gives us a sense of accomplishment and we believe it adds value to our lives.

However, research shows that multitasking is not an efficient way of living and it can even add a lot of harmful stress.  It doesn’t really save time and in fact it actually wastes time. When we move back and forth between tasks we are actually losing valuable time switching between the different things we are working on.  Multitasking can also cause you to make mistakes because your brain is focused on more than one topic.  You can also miss out on a lot of great things in life because your brain is trying to work so hard on keeping things straight.

Multitasking can also harm your relationships.  When you are trying so hard to accomplish several tasks, you are not tuned into the people around you.  You may be having a conversation and decide to check your phone or read your emails, which sends the message that you are not interested in what the other person is saying.

If you actually timed how long it took to accomplish 3 different jobs while multitasking or doing them individually, you would discover that it was faster to do them one at a time.  You would gain the time it took to switch back and forth from one job to another.  When you focus on doing just one thing, you will do it better and quicker.

You may consider yourself to be a great multitasker, but in reality, you are probably just wearing yourself out.  Multitasking does not make you a better person.  Slow down and enjoy life.  Do one thing at a time.  Do less and do it better.

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Give a smile away

Whenever I go to one of the local malls, I always see people sitting alone in the common areas.  Most of these people are seniors who probably don’t have a lot of contact with family and friends.  They come to the mall to sit and watch people so they can at least feel like they aren’t alone.  But does this really help?  Does it make them feel less alone?  I’ve often been in a crowd and still felt very much alone, so just being around people doesn’t fill in that empty space inside.

I feel bad for the people I see sitting alone in the mall but I give them credit for getting out of their house or apartment.  Just the fact that they are getting their bodies moving, breathing some fresh air and socializing at a distance does help them in a small way.  Many people who are lonely just stay inside and rarely venture out except for a doctor’s appointment or to quickly pick up a few groceries.

This is a great opportunity to give a smile away.  When you see someone sitting alone and looking forlorn, make a point of getting their attention and giving them the biggest smile you can manage.  I try to say hello and maybe mention something positive about the day or even compliment them on what they are wearing (if suitable).  If you have a few minutes, maybe you could even sit down beside someone for a quick rest and try starting a light conversation.

Whether you give away a smile, a few kind words or a short conversation, it can make a difference in someone’s life.  You may be the only one who has taken the time to acknowledge them in a long time and it could positively impact them.

Don’t pass up the opportunity to give away a smile.  It costs you nothing but it can have huge rewards!

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Do you feel like a failure?

Do you avoid doing things because you don’t know how it will work out?

Do you hesitate in making changes because you are afraid things might get worse?

Do you avoid situations because you are afraid you will say or do something wrong?

Many of us avoid doing anything that might result in failure.  We are so afraid that we might do something wrong, that we miss out on some great opportunities.  None of us likes to fail but failure is part of being a human.

Everyone makes mistakes.  We are not alone in our failures.  All successful people have failed during their lives but they just use failure as a learning tool to achieving their success.  They keep trying and working through their mistakes until they find a solution that works.

What we have to do is learn how to fail successfully.  Nobody else can succeed for us, so it is important that when we do fail, we just pick ourselves up and try again.  Don’t blame others for your mistakes, don’t make excuses and don’t give up.

Failure isn’t a problem unless you dwell on your failures and stay stuck.  Learn from them and try hard not to make the same mistake again.  We can learn a lesson from everything we do in life.

Failure is just a stepping stone to success.

Step 1 – Analyze your failure.  Why did this happen?  What did I do or say that didn’t work?

Step 2 – Determine what you could do differently the next time this situation comes up.

Step 3 – Write down a plan of action and start moving ahead.

Step 4 – Don’t focus on what happened, focus on what you are going to do.

Step 5 – If you can’t seem to come up with an answer that works, talk to someone you trust and allow them to help you.

Step 6 – Write down your successes, big and small and go over them regularly to remind yourself that you CAN succeed.

 

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Do you have hope?

This is a question that I can honestly answer with a definite yes.  I named my dog Hope so I would always be reminded that I do have hope in my life.  Of course, even though I do HAVE Hope, I don’t always FEEL like I have hope.  Most days are good, but with all the violence and hatred in the world, it is sometimes hard to see any hope for the future.

Hope is a feeling that things will eventually turn out for the best.  It is an optimistic attitude that expects positive outcomes. We may be facing obstacles in our lives right now, but hope allows us to believe that we will get through the storm and see sunny skies ahead.

Hope is a powerful feeling and it is vital to having a good life.  Our circumstances may look bleak at times but we can look forward to greater things happening in our lives.  This requires having a positive attitude.  We have to look for the good instead of the bad.  It certainly isn’t hard to see the bad in the world; it is hiding in every corner.  Sometimes bad things happen to us but they don’t last forever.  We can expect good to come out of a bad situation.  Difficult situations can actually be good learning experiences as to what we should be doing or not doing in our lives.

Having hope gives people a better quality of life.  People with hope have recovered from serious illnesses and overcome stressful situations.  Hope gives people purpose and brings meaning to life.

Never lose hope.  Focus on what is positive in your life and work towards your goals.  Don’t let your struggles hold you back from finding happiness and peace in your life.  Always hope for the best and keep a positive attitude.

Do you have hope?

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