I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

Remind yourself

remindersIn this busy world it is easy to forget things.  Our minds have so much information flowing through each day, that we often end up with information overload at the end of the day.  Then we go to bed and fall asleep quickly from exhaustion or we lie in bed thinking about everything that has happened that day and all the things we need to do.

Every day I have to write things down or I would miss a meeting, be late for an appointment, forget to pick up something or omit an important task.  I keep track of everything I need to remember on a calendar in my computer and also duplicate the information on my cell phone calendar.   This gives me an automatic reminder of what needs to be done.  If it is an urgent reminder, I write a sticky note and put it on my computer screen so I can’t miss seeing it.  For tasks that are not as important, I write these on a list that I keep beside my computer so I can do them as I have time and then I cross them off the list when they are done.

Writing things down is the best way to keep focused on what you are supposed to do, help you remember important tasks and keep you more organized.   Write down what you need to remember and review it nightly so you will be prepared first thing in the morning.

You also need to remind yourself daily what an awesome person you are.  Before you go to bed, get a pen and a notepad, journal or even a piece of paper, then sit down for a few minutes of quiet time to reflect.  Think about something that you are good at, something that you like to do, a talent, a skill, an ability, then write down your thoughts and ideas.  Place the notepad or journal beside your bed and when you wait up in the morning, read it to yourself.  This will put you in a positive mindset to start off the day.

What do you need to remind yourself about?

Night time is really the best time to work.  All the ideas are there to be yours because everyone else is asleep.  ~Catherine O’Hara

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Compliment yourself

Woman Holding DocumentsHow often do you give yourself a compliment?   Most people would not even consider doing such a silly thing.   A compliment is usually given to another person as an expression of esteem, respect, affection or admiration.  Right?  But there is no reason we can’t give ourselves a compliment and we should if we have done a good job.

Many people don’t believe they are worthy of compliments, but everyone is unique and special in their own way.   We have great abilities and strengths that we often overlook or ignore.  We need to bring these to our attention so we can tell ourselves what a great person we are.

There is so much negativity in the world today and we don’t hear enough positive comments from other people, so we need to make sure that we are hearing something encouraging from ourselves.  When we do something that deserves a compliment, we should immediately say something nice about ourselves.  If possible, say it out loud and with passion!  You deserve it!

Compliment yourself on your kindness, your sense of humour and your great smile.  Compliment yourself on a job well done.   Don’t wait for someone else to say something.   Do it yourself.  And don’t forget to pay compliments to other people.  This will help you become a  more confident, positive person and it will have a positive impact on other people.

I can live for two months on a good compliment.  ~Mark Twain

Pay with compliments and you will always be wealthy.  ~Mike Dolan

There is no effect more disproportionate to its cause than the happiness bestowed by a small compliment.  ~Robert Brault



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Teach your children to say affirmations

Mother and Daughter Face To FaceAffirmations are a great way to help children develop confidence and build esteem.  They are powerful statements that create positive habits and help children focus on positive self-talk.   Start teaching your children to say positive affirmations when they are young.  Here are some ideas:

  • I am a nice person
  • I listen to what my mom and dad say to me
  • I like to help other people
  • I keep my room clean
  • I pick up my toys
  • I obey our family rules
  • I am nice to my friends
  • I always try my best
  • I help with the chores
  • I exercise every day
  • I eat healthy foods
  • I take the dog for a walk
  • I am polite
  • I try to stay calm

Don’t forget to say your own positive affirmations every day!

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Unhappiness is a habit

angry jumpingEveryone has their own unique way of living life and our habits play a big part in how we handle our lives.

Did you know that your emotions are habits?  Everything you do on a regular basis without thinking is a habit.   Habits can be positive or negative.  Unfortunately, many people have more negative habits than positive habits.  They become stuck in these habits which negatively affect their lives.   Having negative emotions can impact your relationships, work, school and all areas of your life.

  • being unhappy is a habit
  • being angry is a habit
  • being depressed is a habit
  • being bitter is a habit
  • being lazy is a habit
  • being selfish is a habit
  • being unkind is a habit

These negative habits stop a person from having happiness and success in their lives and are often due to a lack of confidence and low esteem.

If you are struggling with bad, negative habits that are causing problems in your life, try to form some new, positive habits that will contribute something worthwhile to your life and help you achieve your dreams and goals.

It takes about 21 to 30 days to create a new habit.   Decide that you are going to become more positive about life and then start working on building positive habits.

  • say positive affirmations first thing in the morning to put yourself in a positive mood for the day, then repeat them during the day to reinforce your positive feelings.jump for joy
  • actively stop yourself when you say negative words and replace these with positive words
  • be nice to other people, do acts of kindness daily
  • every day write down a (realistic) list of things you have to do and stick with it
  • make a habit of hanging around positive people
  • do activities that will put you in a positive mindset

If you consciously work hard at creating positive habits, your negative habits will start to disappear.   This will help you build confidence and increase your esteem.



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Today is a brand new day

Don’t you just love waking up in the morning and realizing that today is a brand new day?  No?  Well, you aren’t alone.  Many people don’t like mornings.  I used to be one of those people who woke up dreading the day and feeling just terrible.                                 

The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.  ~Jean Kerr, Please Don’t Eat the Daisies, 1957


Nothing good was going to happen, so what was the point in even getting up?  It was a constant fight with myself to get out of bed and get ready for work.  “I don’t want to get up.”  “I don’t feel good.” “I don’t want to talk to anyone.”  There were all sorts of arguments that I tried on myself.  Of course, I had to work, so I dragged myself out of bed.

I’d like mornings better if they started later.  ~Author Unknown

sleeping with teddy bear

Now, I love waking up in the morning knowing that today is a brand new day and that everything is new and fresh.    I hear the sounds of the traffic, the birds singing, a dog barking and I am thankful that I can hear.  I see the sun shining, the raindrops falling or the snowflakes drifting to the ground and I am thankful that I can see.  I can smell the coffee perking and the bacon cooking and I am thankful that I can smell.   When I get out of bed, I am thankful that I have legs to walk on.  When I hug my family, I’m thankful that I have arms to use.  There are so many things to be thankful for, I wonder why I ever hated getting up in the morning.

The moment when you first wake up in the morning is the most wonderful of the twenty-four hours.  No matter how weary or dreary you may feel, you possess the certainty that, during the day that lies before you, absolutely anything may happen.  And the fact that it practically always doesn’t, matters not a jot.  The possibility is always there.  ~Monica Baldwin

happy face with bird

How did I change from being a miserable morning person to someone who enjoys the mornings?  It is all about perspective.  If you are like many people who have a negative perspective, as soon as you get up in the morning, you will focus on all the negatives in your life and be miserable.  If you work hard on developing a positive perspective, you will be able to see the positives in life and start your day on a positive note.

Be pleasant until ten o’clock in the morning and the rest of the day will take care of itself.  ~Elbert Hubbard

singing with note

Here are some ideas on how to change your perspective:

  • practice saying daily positive affirmations
  • consciously stop your negative thoughts
  • change your negative words into positive words
  • create positive habits
  • surround yourself with positive people, places and things
  • fill your emotional tank with positive fuel
  • think about all the things you can be thankful for

For more information and ideas, visit my website at

You can also download my Caterpillar to Butterfly Self-Esteem Workbook by visiting my website and clicking on the Bookstore tab.



Happiness is found inside

open boxes with tiesMany people believe that happiness is something they can find in outside sources.   They fill up their lives with empty relationships, expensive products and worthless services.   New friends, expensive cars, big houses, long vacations and nice clothing are common commodities in the search for happiness.

The problem is, happiness can’t be found in something outside ourselves, except for a short period of time.  When you have that new thing, of course it will make you happy, but your happiness won’t last for long.  You will soon lose interest and want something bigger or better.

Research shows time and time again that outside sources will only bring temporary happiness.   We must find happiness within ourselves by building our confidence and increasing our self-esteem.  This is done by becoming aware of who we really are and learning to love ourselves (not in a vain or egotistical way).   Say positive affirmations daily, stop yourself from thinking negative thoughts and focus on your strengths and abilities.  Surround yourself with positive people, places and things.   Happiness can be found but you need to work on making positive changes in your life.  Start today!



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Are you having a good day?

Sick Young Woman Lying in BedHow are you feeling right now?   Wonderful?   Okay?  Not so good?  Awful?

Think back to first thing this morning before you even got out of bed.  As soon as you woke up what did you focus on first?  Where you thinking about problems that were going to happen today or were you thinking about what a great day this was going to be?

If you are like most other people, you wake up and your negative mind starts working.  “I don’t want to get up.”  “I don’t feel good”.  I can’t do this or do that.”  You have already put yourself in a bad mood for the day and it probably won’t get any better.  You drag yourself out of bed, get dressed and look for something to eat.  Then you shuffle out of the door to work, school or appointment with a frown on your face and a heaviness in your heart.  Wow, what an awful way to start the day!

This used to be my regular routine.  I never wanted to get up and almost always dreaded the day ahead.  It never occurred to me that I was making myself miserable.  Nobody was standing over me telling me all those negative things.  I was doing it to myself by using negative self-talk.  Negativity ruled my life and it certainly wasn’t any fun.  Of course, people are sometimes in situations where they have other negative people around them than can make it hard to think positive, but we should still try very  hard.  We shouldn’t allow other people to control our thoughts.

Now I have learned ways to change my negative thoughts into positive thoughts.  Saying positive statements or affirmations is a great way to focus on being positive.  When I started saying positive statements to myself, I started feeling better and after doing this every day for several weeks, it became a good habit that I continue to reinforce as often as possible.

When you get up in the morning, try focusing on positive thoughts or say positive affirmations.  They will help you start of your day in a positive mood and then you will have a much better chance of having a good day.  It does really work and you can become more positive if you are actively and consciously working on it.  I used to be negative most of the time and now I’m positive most of the time.

Every day may not be good, but there’s something good in every day.  ~Author Unknown

The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude.  ~Dennis S. Brown

A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug.  ~Patricia Neal

You’re not going to make me have a bad day.  If there’s oxygen on earth and I’m breathing, it’s going to be a good day.  ~Cotton Fitzsimmons

Being in a good frame of mind helps keep one in the picture of health.  ~Author Unknown

Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.  ~Voltaire

Happiness is an attitude.  We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong.  The amount of work is the same.  ~Francesca Reigler

So often time it happens, we all live our life in chains, and we never even know we have the key.  ~The Eagles, “Already Gone”

If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face.  And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until it gets so ugly you can hardly bear to look at it.  A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly.  You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely. ~Roald Dahl



Are you getting enough emotional nutrition?

Everyone needs proper nutrition so they will be healthy.  We need to eat a balanced diet that includes a variety of proper foods from each level of the food pyramid.

But are you getting enough proper emotional nutrition so you can have a sound mind, body and soul?  Emotional nutrition is the amount of emotions that you are internalizing.  If these emotions are positive emotions, they will be filling you up with positive energy.  If these emotions are negative emotions, they will be filling you up with negative energy.

You can fill yourself up with positive emotions by:

  • surrounding yourself with people who uplift and encourage you
  • being in places that help you stay focused on being positive
  • doing things that energize you
  • reading inspirational books
  • saying positive affirmations
  • doing acts of kindnessclip shadow people dancing

Try to avoid anything that fills you up with negative emotions.   In order to have a proper emotional diet, you need to have a larger number of positive emotions filling up your life.   This isn’t easy, but if you keep working at it, it is very possible.  If I can do it, you can do it!





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10 steps to building confidence

POSTCARD 10 steps to building confidence front

Step 1SELF-AWARENESS—Do an honest evaluation of your life, both past and present.  Determine the source of your problems and consider what changes need to be made.

Step 2—POSITIVE QUALITIES—Make a list of your positive qualities and start focusing on them by reading them everyday until  it becomes habit.

Step 3—POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS—Write down a few affirmations and put them where you can see them.  Start each day with a positive affirmation and repeat several times throughout the day.

Step 4—POSITIVE MATERIALS—Read inspirational books and listen to tapes, CD’s and DVD’s that will motivate you .   Do this every day and listen carefully to what the materials are telling you.

Step 5—POSITIVE PEOPLE—Surround yourself with positive, supportive people and go to places where you are accepted and uplifted.  Try to eliminate or reduce the time spent with negative people.

Step 6—SELF-ACCEPTANCEStop comparing yourself to others and trying to be like the unrealistic images of beauty sent out by the media.  Focus on your own unique strengths and abilities and give yourself praise for being the wonderful person you are.

Step 7—POSITIVE SELF-TALK—Be conscious of any negative thoughts and try to stop them from becoming negative words.  Try writing down your negative thoughts  in a daily journal and then re-word them into positive thoughts.

Step 8—SET REALISTIC GOALS—Determine what your goals are, write them down and work hard to achieve them.  Keep going even when you fail, learn from your mistakes and never give up.

Step 9—VOLUNTEER—Helping others will not only benefit the receiver, it will also benefit the giver.  Volunteering improves our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health.

Step 10—ACTION—Listening  and learning will help get you started on your personal journey to find happiness and success in life.   Now it is time for you to take action and start working on making some positive changes.   People can help us, encourage us and support us, but we are the only ones who can change our lives.  So start right now and live the rest of your life POSITIVELY!!


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Positive affirmations for children

Affirmations are great motivators and can be used by people of all ages.   It can be very beneficial to children if we start teaching them how to say positive affirmations.

Saying affirmations regularly will help children feel good about themselves and they will become more responsible.  Affirmations can help children develop confidence and build strong self-esteem.

Here are some affirmations for children:

  • I am a nice person.broom
  • I pick up my toys.
  • I follow directions.
  • I stay calm.
  • I learn quickly and easily.
  • I clean my room.
  • I like to help others.
  • I’m a good girl/boy.
  • I am careful.
  • I obey the rules.
  • I finish what I start.
  • I always try my best.
  • I talk nice to my friends.
  • I like to play sports.
  • I exercise.
  • I read stories.
  • I help with the chores.
  • I feed the dog/cat.
  • I put away my clean clothes.
  • I say ‘please’ and ‘thank-you’.
  • I share my toys.


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