imconfident

I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

Who is the media?

The media gets blamed for a lot of the problems in the world and rightly so.  Every day we are bombarded with images that influence the way we think about ourselves and others.  We see images of beautiful people living perfect lives that make us feel like there is something wrong with us.  We see ads that tell us we need to buy certain products in order to be accepted and loved.  Our confidence takes a hit and we become a person who feels unworthy and inferior to everyone else.

So, who is the media?  Who is telling us the lies that we are not good enough, that we don’t measure up and that we have no value?  It is not just a screen or an image that we see.  The media is comprised of people just like you and me.  It is people who are creating these images that have a profound influence on us.  We are influenced by everyone and everything that goes on around us.  These influences can be positive or they can be negative.

The ads that promote beauty products are most often created by women.  It is women that are tearing other women down!  Did you ever consider this?  The ads they create tell us:

  • we don’t look good enough (FOR WHAT?)
  • we are too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short, etc….(COMPARED TO WHAT RIDICULOUS STANDARD?)
  • we don’t measure up (TO WHAT?)
  • we need to buy their products in order to have friends and be successful (WHY IS OUR FUTURE DEPENDENT ON THEM?)

We need to stop believing what the media tells us. Next time you want to believe something that the media is telling you, stop and consider who is really speaking to you.  The media is just a bunch of strangers who don’t know anything about you and don’t really care who you are.   All they want is to make you feel bad about yourself so they can line their pockets with your hard-earned money.   Don’t believe their lies.   We DO have value.  We ARE good enough.  We DO measure up.  We DO NOT need their products to be a productive and successful human being.  We are fearfully and wonderfully made.  Our value lies in who we are, not in what we look like or what we have.

 

 

 

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Simplify your child’s life…and your own

We live in a world that is complicated.   Daily pressures cause us to try to do way more that we should.  We try to pack so many things into 24 hours that we are exhausted at the end of the day.  Work, family, daily chores, meetings, sports, other activities….it is all too much for many of us to handle.  The stress we feel is handed down to our children when we place our own expectations on their little lives.

Children are not allowed to be children anymore.  They are pressured into growing up quickly and filling their time with endless activities.  When I was small, life was simple.  I spent hours playing by myself and using my creativity to do projects like painting, sewing and knitting.  Toys and games did not fill my room and I wasn’t bored.  Instead of spending hours playing on a computer or an i-pad, I was outside riding my bicycle or having adventures in my backyard.

I see children today who are involved in so many things that they don’t have time to enjoy their childhood.  Their schedules are so full of activities like sports, dancing, martial arts, video games, parties and other events that they don’t have time to use their own creativity.  Then when they do have down time, they go to rooms full of toys and games and are bored because they have nothing to do.

Parents often smother their children with too much, thinking it shows love.  We all want our children to have nice things but when it is overdone, it can result in emotional problems.  Kids feel frustrated, stressed, unsatisfied and feeling entitled to having everything they want.   We should give our children less stuff and allow them to have more free time to build their creativity.  We should give our children less activities and more family time.  More is not better.  More is stressful.  We need to simplify the lives of ourselves and our children.

Here is a great article I just read that explains more deeply what happens when we simplify life.http://raisedgood.com/extraordinary-things-happen-when-we-simplify-childhood/

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Do you have integrity?

Can people count on you?  Do you keep your commitments?  Are you honest?  Do you do what is right?

People with integrity have strong values, beliefs and principles.  Their character is consistent and they always try to do the right thing even when it is hard or it goes against what society believes.

How can you tell if someone has integrity?

  • they are truthful
  • they keep their promises
  • they are there for you even in tough times
  • they are more concerned with giving than receiving
  • they always do their best and care about what they are doing
  • they accept responsibility for their mistakes
  • they are forgiving
  • they don’t blame others
  • they don’t try to hurt others, instead they try to help others

Do you have integrity? Are you teaching your children to have integrity?

 

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What are you passing on to your kids?

Sometimes we inherit something from our parents, like the same colour of eyes or hair or maybe the same shaped nose.  But were you aware that we can also inherit their character traits and tendencies?

Children are born with their own personalities but these can be influenced greatly by the behaviour and actions of their parents.

  • If we are angry, bitter or negative people, our children can also become angry, bitter or negative.
  • If we are self-centered and focus on ourselves more than others, our children will become selfish and lack generosity.
  • If we have an addiction to cigarettes, alcohol or drugs, our children are more likely to develop an addiction.
  • If we don’t have solid moral values, our children will not learn to respect themselves and others.

As parents, we have a profound affect on our children and we should ensure that we are influencing them in a positive way.  This isn’t an easy task and we will make mistakes.  However, we should carefully look at our own lives and try to make any necessary changes so we can become  to be the best possible role model.

What are you passing on to your kids?

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Take care of yourself!

Our health is very important.  If we don’t take care of ourselves, we can easily develop major health issues that will affect everything in our lives.

We should try to eat healthy foods, exercise regularly, get proper sleep and eliminate any negative stresses.  This isn’t easy in a world that promotes fast food and a fast life.  We fill our lives with so many activities that we are too busy to cook healthy meals, go for a leisurely walk or get to bed at a reasonable hour.  The sad thing is, we believe that our value is found in how much we can accomplish in a day and we keep adding more and more stress until we reach a point where our health fails.

My own lifestyle was certainly not the healthiest.  I didn’t really watch what I ate, I exercised very little and my sleeping patterns were terrible.  Stress was a huge part of my life and I kept driving myself to do more that I could handle.   Having a stroke was not something I expected at this stage of my life.  On a positive note, it has changed my thinking and I have no choice but to take care of myself.

Here are some healthy habits that you should incorporate into your lifestyle:

  • Eat a diet that is low-sodium, low-sugar and low-fat.  Lots of vegetables and fruits are important.  Never eat on the rush, take time to enjoy your food.  Frozen and prepared foods along with fast foods are unhealthy so try to cook at home as much as possible.  Eating healthy is a good habit to get your family and yourself into.
  • Exercise a minimum of 30 minutes or more each day.   If you have an active job, this really doesn’t count.  Join a gym or exercise club.   Walking is the cheapest and most effective exercise.  Get a walking buddy and support each other.  I’ve been walking with my husband every day and it is benefiting both of us!
  • Go to bed at the same time every night and get up at the same time.  Of course, there will be times when events or activities get in the way but that’s okay.  As long as you develop a habit that works most of the time.
  • Try to eliminate as much stress as you can.  Positive stresses like getting ready for a exciting event are great but negative stresses will just drag you down.  Think about what is important and what isn’t important.  Spend less time with people who stress you out.  Cut down on your to-do list and make sure you add some quiet time each day.

You are an important person and you need to take care of yourself.  Don’t wait until something happens.  Start today!

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The power of low esteem

Many people struggle with low esteem and it affects every area of their lives.  It affects how they feel about themselves, it affects the way they interact with other people, it affects the way they communicate.  Low esteem is destructive.

  1. It makes people feel inferior, that they are worthless, that they have no value.
  2. It makes them feel that they don’t measure up to other people; that everyone else is smarter, better looking, has more friends, is better off financially.
  3. It makes people feel unloved, unappreciated and unwanted.
  4. It destroys relationships.
  5. It leads to communication breakdowns.
  6. It holds you back from using your abilities and skills.
  7. It stops you from reaching your goals.
  8. It destroys your dreams.

Having low esteem will cause you to struggle through life believing that there is something wrong with you.   Often we develop this low opinion of ourselves from living in a negative environment, surrounded by people who struggle themselves with low esteem.  Instead of continuing to believe things that are probably not true, we can change the way we feel about ourselves by challenging our beliefs and learning to develop a positive perspective about ourselves and life in general.

what-you-think-of-yourself-is-much-more-importantWe are all valuable, unique individuals despite what others have led us to believe. Do some self-discovery and find our what an awesome person you really are!  Visit my website at http://www.imconfident.com for more information on building confidence and self-esteem.

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Are you raising the child you want or the child you have?

We are all different.  Everyone is unique and special in their own way.  No two people on this earth are exactly the same and we should celebrate our differences.

When we have children, we often expect them to be like us and when they aren’t, we either try to mold them into a “mini-us” or we constantly battle with them because they don’t act the way we want them to and they drive us crazy.

We should raise our children as they are and not try to change them into the person we want them to be.  They are not us and they never will be.  We can force them into our mold and have them become an unhappy, unfulfilled adult.  Or we can encourage them to use their abilities, guide them through difficult situations to achieve their potential and support them when they fail.

Children are a gift.  Allow them to be themselves.  They are not perfect and neither are we.  Just love them.

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What are you investing your time in?

what-do-you-invest-your-time-in

 

 

Everyone invests their time in something, usually in whatever they are interested in the most.  Unfortunately, we don’t always invest our time in the things that are important.  Then when we get older, we realize that we have wasted a lot of time doing things that don’t matter and we have regrets.

Many people go through life trying to achieve success by obtaining power or making lots of money.  Others spend their lives wasting all their time and money pleasing themselves and just having fun.  Then one day they need support from their family and friends and wonder why they are all alone.

I certainly have regrets and wish that I could turn back the clock.  Many hours, days and weeks were wasted doing things that don’t even matter now.

  • Time spent working extra hours to make more money instead of going home and spending time with my family
  • Time spent working on projects that didn’t pan out and have long been forgotten
  • Time spent feeling sorry for myself instead of feeling sorry for other people and helping them out
  • Time spent reading books that filled up time and didn’t teach me anything valuable
  • Time spent watching TV programs and movies that filled up my mind with total garbage

Think carefully about what you spend your time doing.

  • Is it something that has value or something that is wasting your time?
  • Is it something that makes you a better person or does it lead you away from the important things in life?
  • Is it something that blesses other people or does it only please yourself?
  • Is it something that leads you where you want to be or is it leading you down a dead-end street?

Whatever you surround yourself with now will likely be what surrounds you in the future.   Make some positive changes in your life now and invest time in things of value.

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Do you live in the past?

Our past consists of situations that have caused us both pain and joy.  However, the painful situations are often the ones we remember the most and many people remain stuck in their pain, unable to enjoy anything good that happens in the present.  We should use our past as a history lesson and not a guidebook.  We can definitely learn something from our past and use our mistakes to make positive changes.  What has happened is over and done with and nothing can take away any unkind words that have been said or cut unhappy circumstances from our lives.  All we can do is make better choices and try our best to overcome any challenges we may face in a different, more positive way.

Don’t hide the past or try to forget the pain that you experienced.  Ignoring things won’t make them better, the pain will still be there and it will surface when you don’t want it to.  Your past does not define who you are but if you are able to work through your pain, you will learn valuable lessons that will make you wiser and stronger.

Don’t stay stuck in the past when you can live in the present and enjoy your life.  Look at your past and ask yourself if you really want to live there forever.  Then make some positive changes in your life and develop a new perspective.  You can change your life if you really want to.

Check my website at http://www.imconfident.com for ideas on how to make positive changes in your life.

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Our days are happier…..

our days are happier RELATIONSHIPS

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