I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

Your past does not define you

The first recipe for happiness is:  avoid too lengthy meditation on the past.  ~Andre Maurois

Everyone has a past and it leads us to where we are today.  Our past leaves a mark on us and provides us with valuable lessons.   However, our past can become a huge burden on our lives if we allow our mistakes and failures to define who we are.  If we keep focusing on past events and drag them with us everywhere we go, we can become slaves to our past and not be able to enjoy our lives.

We have all done things in our past that we are not proud of.   We should accept our mistakes and learn from them.  We can’t change what we did but we can change what we do in the future.  Making a mistake does not make us a failure.  Quitting makes us a failure so we should always keep trying to better ourselves.  Dwelling on past mistakes will just stop us from living a full, rewarding life today.

Many people have been treated badly in the past and they feel that there is something wrong with them.   They define themselves by this event and think they are less valuable than other people.  This is wrong!  When people hurt us, they are hurting themselves and their actions are a reflection of their own pain.  It has nothing to do with us and it is wrong to believe that we are responsible for their actions.  We have to stop being slaves to these past events and refuse to allow them to keep hurting us.

Everything in the past has already happened and it does not have to affect our future.   We may have had a bad habit or addiction.  We may have hurt someone with our words or actions.  We may have been abused or abandoned.  We are definitely shaped by our past but we are NOT defined by it.  We CAN move past these things and into something that is much greater.

  • We need to stop focusing on the past and start focusing on today
  • We need to stop thinking negative thoughts and start thinking positive thoughts
  • We need to stop telling ourselves that there is something wrong with us and start telling ourselves that we are great just the way we are
  • We need to stop telling ourselves that we are a failure and start telling ourselves that even though we make mistakes, we are learning and growing

Many successful people today have gone through tremendous difficulties and pain in their past, but they were able to overcome their adversities and make a difference in their lives and the lives of other people.  Jim Carrey was homeless as a teen, Bill Gates failed in his first business attempt, Bethany Hamilton lost her arm in a shark attack, Oprah Winfrey was raped at 9 and became pregnant at 14, Richard Branson has dyslexia and I could go on and on.

Never feel that your past defines you.  It doesn’t matter what you did or what happened to you.  You have great abilities, strengths and characteristics.   Every day you can make a fresh start and work on developing a new character.  Build your confidence and increase your self-esteem so you can feel good about who you are.  Visit my website for more information on confidence building.

Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them.  They stay focused on their past successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps they need to take to get them closer to the fulfillment of their goals, rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them.  ~Jack Canfield


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Write it down

pencil and paperDo you have a habit of forgetting things?  I’ve always had a problem with short-term memory and I struggle to remember the simplest things.  Names, phone numbers, appointments, a medication, a location can become lost in the busyness of the day.  My mind constantly races from one thought to another and I get distracted easily.  Focusing on one thing at time is really hard.

In order to combat this problem, I’ve found it very helpful to write things down and I know from research that this has been a proven way to help organize your thoughts.

You can write your thoughts on a to-do list, in a journal or day book, on a calendar, on sticky notes, in your computer or on your phone.  Use whatever method or combination is best for you.

Writing things down has many benefits:

  • you won’t forget to do something
  • you can organize your thoughts
  • you will have less stress
  • you can analyze your words and make necessary changes
  • you can eliminate any unnecessary tasks
  • you can focus on what is important
  • easier to understand your thoughts

If you have trouble remembering or organizing your life, try writing things down for the next 30 days and see if it helps.  I’m sure you will notice some positive changes.

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De-clutter your mind

cluttered mindMost people have some clutter in their home.   Even the tidiest housekeeper might have drawers full of papers that should be thrown away,  dishes and kitchen ware that are shoved to the back of the cupboard and never used, tools that are piled up in the corner of the garage and other useless items that are being stored somewhere in the house just because they might be needed someday.  Then there are people who get really carried away with clutter and fill up their entire house with items that they don’t need, will never use and eventually will rot and decay.  I’ve cleaned some of those houses where you can’t even navigate through them without tripping over something.

When your home is cluttered, you likely also have a cluttered mind and it is important to de-clutter your mind as well as your home.   Just de-cluttering a home will not solve the problem and you will just end up back where you started from.  A cluttered mind can result from being depressed, feeling worthless or unloved, not getting support, losing control, too much pressure or just feeling overwhelmed with life in general.   When you feel bad about yourself and other people, your possessions start looking pretty good because you have control over them and can accumulate whatever you want.  Your ‘stuff’ gives you comfort and actually becomes part of you.  This is why it is so hard to convince some people to de-clutter their homes.

If you have trouble de-cluttering your home, it is time to start de-cluttering your mind.  Reach out to any family members or friends who you can trust and ask them for help.  Talk to your family doctor and ask him/her to connect you with some professionals that will help you get started on a journey to improve your emotional, mental and physical health.   Don’t stay stuck in the clutter.  Take steps to move forward and start enjoying your life.   Believe that you are special and you deserve it!


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