imconfident

I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

Why are people so nasty?

When I was a child,  I had my share of mean comments from other kids that bullied me.  Almost every day, I heard words that were intended to hurt me.  Being small, I was called pipsqueak, tiny, midget, shorty.   Descriptive words were often added:  dumb kid, mouseface, stupid baby.   I hated going out for recess because I didn’t have any friends and I knew that I would be targeted.  Sometimes, the bullies were busy with someone else and I was spared until the next time.  Thankfully, I when I was in class, the bullies had to be quiet and respect the teachers so I didn’t hear those unkind words.  Then when I went home from school, the bullying stopped and I had peace until the next day or the next time.

Today, things are much harder.  Bullying can continue on all day, every day, never stopping.   Cyberbullying can be done 24 hours a day, through emails, texting, and social media.  People Frustrated Woman at Computer With Stack of Paperwho are the targets of bullies can be literally “beaten-up” continuously, which eventually wears them down and can destroy them mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Bullying is a terrible thing that NOBODY should ever have to experience.  There is absolutely NO REASON to hurt someone else in the world on purpose.  NOBODY has the right to hurt another person.  Sometimes we can hurt other people unintentionally, but if we do, we should quickly apologize to that person and make amends.

Research shows that bullies are usually people who have been hurt themselves and they have low esteem.  In the environment they grew up in, they have been bullied or abused themselves and this is the only thing they know.  In order to feel better about themselves, they hurt other people.  This gives them a sense of power and temporarily boosts their esteem, which of course will be gone once they are hurt again themselves and the cycle continues.

People who are bullied often feel that they deserve to be bullied because there is something wrong with them.  This is not true and they shouldn’t allow themselves to feel hurt.  Now, if someone tries to bully me with their words, I look at the situation with a totally different perspective because I understand why it happens and my esteem is getting stronger.  I don’t allow myself to feel bad, instead I feel sorry for the bully and wonder who hurt them so badly that they feel the need to hurt other people.

I also used to think that I was the only one who was being bullied, but I know now that people of all ages and positions in life are bullied.   Even famous people who have thousands of adoring fans get nasty comments.  I just watched the following clip from celebrities that received some nasty tweets.  http://youtu.be/nrjp6e04dZ8

Again I ask the question,  “Why are people so nasty”?   This is because they haven’t received enough love and the proper attention in their lives and they haven’t been taught how to respect other people.  What a sad and terrible thing to gain satisfaction from hurting other people with words and actions.

Parents, teachers and other responsible adults who are in contact with children, need to try to help children build esteem, encourage them to be nice to each other and teach them how to deal with bullies.  It has been proven that children who have strong esteem are more likely to withstand negative peer pressure and bullying.   Children need to know that their lives have value and that they deserve to be treated with respect from everyone.  We all need this no matter what age we are.

PLEASE watch what you say to someone else.  Your words have a lot of power and they can cause a lot of damage.  We should always try to be nice to everyone we meet.

3 Comments »

15 year old sexually battered

Things like this should never happen but sadly we keep hearing about them. Parents need to become more involved in their children’s lives, keep the lines of communication open and set some proper boundaries that are reinforced. Children need strong role models who help them build esteem, so they are not swayed by peer pressure and end up doing things that will cause problems for them.

Ideas for success

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Please pass this on, it could save a life!

A 15 year out girl (shown here) passed out at a party, was sexually abused and killed herself after seeing video online of the ordeal. Girls, be careful, people can slip roofies in your drink (coke, booze, whatever) that will knock you unconscious. Getting drunk can make you pass out, and since this girl was only 15, she may have never had alcohol before, making her get drunk very easily.

I don’t know if she passed out from booze or roofies, but either way what they did was wrong. Several teens were arrested for abusing her. Her family wanted this shared to protect other people like her.

Normally I only post positive and encouraging information on this blog but in this case I felt I had to post this to warn people.

You can read the news article about it here:

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