imconfident

I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

Punishment versus Discipline

on February 25, 2016

Punishment and discipline are not the same thing and they don’t have the same impact on a child.  Punishment is an outer action that is intended to make a child behave by force.  Discipline is teaching a child how to discipline themselves by setting boundaries that are fair and helping them deal with the consequences.

Punishment is parental control and can result in making a child feel unloved and that they have no value.  It can:

  • encourage more conflict
  • arouse anger
  • send a message that it is okay to hit or control someone who is smaller/weaker
  • show that being powerful is a good thing
  • create confusion as to what is fair
  • stop them from making good choices

Discipline is a teaching experience where the child learns how to become a responsible adult who can make good choices.  It can:

  • give them ownership of the problem
  • teach them how to problem solve
  • help a child learn to deal with their emotions effectively
  • teach them how to respect other people and themselves
  • help them feel valuable
  • teach them how to make good choices

Being raised in an environment of punishment, I believed that this was the only way to teach a child a lesson and I became the parent that doled out punishment whenever things got out of control.  I did not realize the negative impact this had on my children until I looked back on my own life and understood the effect punishment had on my own life.

When your children misbehave, take time to calm down and never react in anger.  Your child may behave out of fear, but why not discipline them and teach them to behave out of love and respect? Give them a time-out, take away some privileges, have them do extra chores or do whatever it takes to correct the situation.  Make sure you talk to them and try to remain as calm as possible. Controlling children through fear, is never the answer.   Teaching them how to control their own behaviour is a much better way.

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