I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

Our false beliefs

on May 18, 2015

Most of us live our lives believing things that are not true.   From early childhood, we hear and see things that are presented as the truth.  If you tell a small child that all dogs will bite, they will develop a false fear of all dogs.   If you tell a child they are stupid, they will grow up believing they can’t accomplish much in life.  If you tell a child that they have to get top marks in school or they will be a failure, they will have insecurities about their abilities.

We develop distorted ideas about ourselves and we search endlessly looking for the perfect life, when there is no such thing.  Nobody or nothing in this world is perfect!   We fill our days with endless activities, trying to accomplish as much as we can and accumulate as many possessions as we can cram into our houses.

Some of our false beliefs include:

  • Nobody loves or accepts me.  WHO doesn’t?  Everybody in the world?  Of course not, there is always somebody in the world that loves and accepts you.  Maybe the people around you right now don’t seem to, so get involved in a group with similar interests and make some new friends.  Besides, those people who you are trying to impress – you probably won’t even be around them in 5-10 years or even remember who they were.  Most people we want to like us are not even worth bothering about.
  • I’m too stupid to make it.  Make what?  What is IT referring to?  We all make this statement, but do we really think about what we are talking about.   And who told you that you were stupid?  Was it a response to a mistake you made or was someone just being mean?  Try to determine why you have labelled yourself this way and change your thinking.  We all do stupid things, but we are NOT stupid.  Find something specific (a goal) and then determine HOW or IF you can reach this goal.   When you know what the “IT” means, you can take action.
  • I just can’t measure up.  To who or what?  Are you playing the comparison game?  This is a dangerous game you can never win.  There will always be someone ahead of you at school, work or in the community.  Just remember, there is always someone behind you too.  So just work on building your own skills and don’t give up.
  • I’ll never be a success.  What do you consider to be a success?  Have people told you that you need to have a great job to be a success?  Lots of money?  Expensive cars?  Possessions?  The world pressures us into believing that we need to accumulate wealth and treasure to be successful but this isn’t true at all.  We can build up our own rich empire and be poor in relationships.   Or we can live on a modest income and be surrounded by people who love and support us.  It all depends on how you measure success.

What are your false beliefs?

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