I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

Where does low esteem come from?

on March 4, 2015

Studies have shown that low esteem generally is something that is developed from childhood.  Children learn from the people and things around them as they grow.  They interact with their parents, siblings, extended family, neighbours, friends and everyone around them, gathering information and generally copying what they see and hear.  If children grow up in a negative environment, which can include negative attitudes, abuse or neglect, they can develop a negative perspective about life.   Constant negativity conveys the message to children that they have little or no value and this will cause them to have low esteem.  If nothing changes in their environment, they will carry this with them throughout life.

It is important that we take the time to help our children build esteem so they can become responsible adults.   We can do this by:

  1. Becoming a positive role model ourselves.   Use positive self-talk and be confident in your own abilities.  Approach life with a positive perspective so your children will model your words and actions.
  2. Show love and respect to your children and everyone around you.   They will treat others the same way you treat them.
  3. Have reasonable expectations of your children and others.  Allow them to experience failure and support them when they fail.  Help them learn from their mistakes and encourage them to try again.
  4. Listen to your children.  Show them that you care about their thoughts and feelings.  Communicate to them that you are there when they need you.
  5. Set reasonable boundaries and allow your children to have some power over their lives.   Teach them how to make good choices and how to handle consequences when they make bad choices.

Children are not born with esteem.  It is something that they learn.  So make sure you teach them well and help them build good esteem.  The world constantly tries to tear down our esteem and makes us feel bad about ourselves.   Every day we are bombarded with messages telling us that we aren’t good enough.  By getting a strong sense of self before they are bombarded by society’s unrealistic expectations,  they will know that they ARE GOOD ENOUGH!

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