I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

Are you the perfect spouse?

on October 19, 2014

Everyone wishes they had the perfect spouse.  Someone who could make them happy.  Someone who would cater to all their wishes.  Someone who was always there when they needed them.  Wouldn’t this just be the best thing that could happen!

Imagine the perfect wife:

  • she has a good character, always treating other people with kindness
  • she takes care of her husband’s needs and is never critical or complaining
  • she does the shopping and cooks wonderful meals
  • she keeps the house spotlessly clean and does the laundry
  • she spends lots of time caring for her family
  • she helps her children with their homework
  • she plans special occasions, weekend getaways and family vacations
  • she pays the bills and budgets the family finances
  • she takes care of her appearance, eats proper foods and exercises regularly to keep herself healthy and looking good
  • she is always learning new things and developing her talents
  • she is active in the community and the church
  • she is always in a positive mood and is pleasant to be around

It would be great if women could manage all these great character traits, but realistically it isn’t possible.  There is no such thing as a perfect wife yet some women will pursue this impossible goal until they become totally frustrated and depressed.

Now let’s imagine the perfect husband:

  • he makes lots of money so his family will never lack anything they need or want
  • he is strong and courageous, never fearing to do anything for his family
  • he fixes things around the house so everything is always in great shape
  • he sits and listens to his wife and children  when they are experiencing difficulties and is understanding of their situation
  • he spends lots of time with his family doing fun activities
  • he remembers special occasions with cards, gifts and surprises
  • he tells other people how proud he is of his family
  • he is gentle, kind, honest and loving towards everyone
  • he is a positive role model for his family

Of course we know that husbands couldn’t possibly fulfill all these requirements, yet some wives believe that they should and will continue to be disappointed in their husband’s behaviour.

We need to realize that people can’t be perfect.  There is no perfect spouse, no perfect child, no perfect parent, no perfect friend, no perfect anything in this imperfect world.  It doesn’t matter if society tells us that we can become the perfect person if we just eat the right food, get on the right diet, buy the right clothing and accumulate enough possessions.  Perfection is not possible!  Pursuing perfection will only result in frustration and failure!

Acceptance is the key word.  Learn to accept others for who they are instead of who we want them to be.  Learn to accept yourself for who you are instead of comparing yourself to others.  Lower your expectations and you will eliminate a lot of unnecessary stress in your life.





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