I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

A question about love

on May 18, 2014

scratching headA quick question for today……

Which way is better?

1) Love ourselves and control people?


2) Love people and control ourselves?


Think about the first option.  Loving ourselves is being selfish and self-centered, putting ourselves first.  When we love ourselves, we tend to control other people so they will please us and meet our needs.  Does this make us happy?  Maybe for a while.  Does it make the person being controlled happy?  No, of course not.  Who wants to be controlled?  So if the people around you are being controlled, they aren’t happy and you won’t be happy for long unless you get a twisted satisfaction from making other people miserable.  Therefore option number one doesn’t seem to be very good.

Let’s think about the second option.  Loving other people is being caring and kind, putting others first.  When we love others, we are in control of our emotions because we accept other people for who they are despite their flaws and imperfections.  We don’t expect them to meet our needs because we are secure in who we are.  Controlling ourselves may be difficult but it is better than trying to control everyone else and making them miserable.  So if we love others and control ourselves, we will make other people happy and in turn find happiness ourselves.

Now what was your answer to the question?   Is the first or second option better?  If you didn’t pick the second one, you should probably consider working on becoming more positive about life.  The choice is yours.  You can stay stuck in old patterns of control and self-centeredness or learn to control your emotions and become a more loving person.  I decided to choose the second option and it has really changed my life for the better!





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