I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

If you don’t have anything nice to say…………

on April 27, 2014

happy face with laptopMost of us have heard the expression, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”.   I remember saying it to my children and it is actually good advice because once you say something, your words can never be taken back.   You should always be careful with your words because hurtful words can cause damage to both the person you are speaking to and yourself.    No matter what message you are trying to get across, even if it is necessary to make a point in the midst of a conflict, try to think about how to say it so it doesn’t cause irreparable damage.    Words can be softened just by our tone of voice and our body language.

When we are posting on social media, we need to be especially careful.  Hiding behind a computer or a cell phone, often gives us the courage to say things that we would never say to a person face to face.  We can’t see a person’s eyes, so we just go ahead and write whatever is in our thoughts.   This can result in problems that we don’t even consider.  Our words and pictures are on the computer forever, and they may come back in a few years to destroy our lives.   Several years after posting inappropriate photos, talking about our partying and using rude language, our past may come back to haunt us.  We may have worked hard to get top marks and are hoping for that great position we have always wanted.  Then during the job interview, these past memories are being viewed by the very person who is considering us for the job.  Oh, oh, can’t take it back now.  You already look like an irresponsible, uncaring, nasty person.

We need to teach our children how to use social media properly and how to communicate effectively.  Words are weapons and should be chosen carefully, not just spoken randomly without thinking first.  Children should learn manners, how to respect others and not to gossip.  Help them set good habits.  This can be done by being a positive role model and using our words responsibly both to our children and other people.

I watched a you tube video today by Dave Ramsey who speaks about how “we are raising a generation that is digitally stupid”.  People today do not even think about the consequence of their posts on social media and it is potentially ruining their lives.  He talks about an incident where a young girl caused her father to lose $80,000 because of her Facebook post.  You can watch the video here….

So, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all and you will be a much nicer person!


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