I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

Are you sending out positive vibes?

5 friends circle look upEveryone wants to have friends, people to enjoy spending time with and share interests.  Some people find it easy to make friends but other people find it difficult.   Why?

It all depends on what kind of vibes you are sending out.   If you have confidence in yourself and show your positive qualities, you will send out a message inviting people to be your friend.  If you don’t have confidence in yourself and show your negative qualities, you will send out a message that turns people away from you.  Sometimes we aren’t even aware that we are sending out a negative message and we wonder why people don’t like us.

If you want people to like you, you have to like yourself.  If you lack confidence, it is important that you learn how to build confidence and develop a positive attitude.   Being positive about yourself and looking at life with a positive perspective will tell people that you will be a valuable friend.

People who find it easy to make friends are sending out positive vibes.  They have the following characteristics:

  • outgoing and friendly
  • caring and empathetic
  • helpful and cooperative
  • happy, wear a smile
  • don’t complain or criticize
  • good listener
  • honest and open
  • confident
  • respect others

People who find it difficult to make friends are sending out negative vibes.  They have some or all of the following characteristics:

  • shy, timid, unfriendly
  • uncaring
  • miserable
  • rarely smile
  • complain or criticize
  • don’t listen
  • boast about themselves
  • lack confidence
  • lack respect
  • aggressive, controlling
  • hard to get along with

If you want to have friends, you have to be a friend.  Think about what kind of vibes you are sending out to people.  Do you attract people or send them away?

It took me a long time to realize that I was sending out negative messages.  Being shy, having a fear of speaking to people and not liking myself was stopping me from having many friends.  My vibes were screaming, “Go away, I hate myself so you won’t want to be my friend”.  Of course I did attract occasional friends who had fears and insecurities and all this did was keep us all focused on our problems and we didn’t change.   When we live in our problems, we tend to attract people with the same problems and this doesn’t benefit us in any way.

Visit my website at and click on the bookstore page for more information on the Caterpillar to Butterfly Self-esteem workbook.  Or you can order directly by following the links:

If you are struggling with esteem issues and want to start sending out positive vibes, get started today on your journey.  It’s a new year and it can be a successful year!!

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Stop thinking about yourself

thinkingWe would all be a lot happier if we would just stop thinking about ourselves and start thinking about other people.  In this world, we are taught to be selfish and that we should do whatever it takes to make ourselves happy.   Unfortunately, this just makes us self-centered and does not bring us happiness.  The real truth is, when we focus on ourselves and our own problems, we are often miserable.

When we think about other people and try to help them, it takes our mind off our own problems and in most cases will lead to happiness for both the receiver and the giver.  It can even have an impact on anyone else who notices what is happening.

  • What would happen in a friendship if both sides always said good things about each other?
  • What would happen in a marriage if both spouses were considerate of the needs of each other?
  • What would happen in the workplace if all workers went out of their way to be nice to each other?
  • What would happen in a group setting if all the members worked together?

The answer to these questions – a huge potential for happiness and success.

Is there someone you know that needs help?  A family member, friend, neighbour, a stranger you passed by?  Just start giving out a smile, a helping hand, some money for coffee and so on.  Other people have needs that are often bigger than yours.  When you stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about others, your own problems will often seem insignificant.


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