I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

Are you an 8 cow wife?

on January 24, 2014

How do you rate yourself as a wife on a scale of 1 (terrible) to 10 (terrific)?  If we have good esteem and feel confident in our abilities, we would probably rate ourselves around a 9 or 10.  If we have low esteem and don’t have much confidence in ourselves, we would probably rate ourselves around a 1 or 2.

Many people tend to rate themselves according to what others think of them instead of looking at their natural abilities, talents and skills.  We see ourselves through the eyes of the world, judging ourselves from a wrong perspective and not really seeing our own unique identity.  If others place a high value on us, we will feel worthy.  If others place a low value on us, we will feel unworthy.8 cows

Cow Wife by Patricia McGerr.  It appeared in the Reader’s Digest in February 1988 and has been circulating since them.   The narrator tells a story about a man called Johnny Lingo who went looking for a wife and ended up paying an exorbitant price for her.   In the island where Johnny found his wife, a marriage arrangement was settled in the payment of cows.  Two or three cows would buy a good wife with average abilities, four or five cows would buy a great wife with amazing qualities and just one cow would buy a wife that was plain and not very good at anything.  However, Johnny paid EIGHT cows for his wife and then took her away to his island.  Was she a real beauty or had special qualities?  No, she was shy, full of fears and insecurities and looked sickly.  So why did Johnny pay so much for his wife?  Johnny knew that the size of the dowry put a value on the women.   The wives who were bought with 4, 5 or even 6 cows would boast about themselves and make the ones who were bought for less to feel bad.  He loved his future wife and wanted her to feel good about herself so he placed a high value on her.   The narrator was curious about Johnny and went to the island where he lived with his new wife.   When he got there, he was surprised to see a beautiful woman.   He asked Johnny why the islanders laughed about him and said his wife was homely.  Johnny replied that she was exactly as they described because she was living down to their expectations, however now that Johnny paid such a high price for her, she was living up to his expectations.  He wanted an 8 cow wife and that is exactly what he got.

When people place a high value on us, we will try to live up to that value.  But when people place a low value on us, we will accept it and live down to that value.  It is really important that we place a high value on our loved ones and keep re-affirming that value, so they will have good confidence and strong self-esteem.

  • Are you an 8 cow wife?
  • Do others place high value on you?
  • Do you place high value on yourself?
  • Do you place high value on others?

Here is the complete story of the 8 cow wife:

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