imconfident

I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

Parent watching

on December 17, 2013

girl with mag glassHave you ever participated in people watching?  This can be a great way to observe how people act and learn something about their behaviour.  People watching should be done inconspicuously in a crowded mall, park or other area when you can observe people acting naturally without knowing someone is watching them.

A few days ago, I was parent watching which is my version of checking out the way parents behave with their children.   Since doing research and writing a book on parenting, I’ve become a super spy when it comes to parents and I am continually testing my theories and making personal conclusions.

This particular evening, I was sitting in the food court of a mall, drinking coffee and waiting for a colleague.  A father brought his 2 children about ages 10 and 12? (I’m not really a great age guesser) to the next table and told them to sit down while he bought some food.  The little girl put her feet up on the bench and her father told her to sit properly and behave.  I thought, “Well, he seems to be pretty strict”.  A few minutes later he brought food back to the table and sat down.  They started eating and then the father laughed and said to his son, “That hamburger is pretty messy, isn’t it.  You’re going to have to learn how to eat it properly.  But you’re doing a great job.  I’m proud of you.”  Then they talked about when the dad was working over Christmas and what days they would be able to spend together.  When they were finished eating, the father and his daughter got up to throw away their garbage.  On their way back to the table, the dad put his arm around the girl and she put her arm around her dad.  Then she said, “Daddy, I love you”.  The father responded, “I love you too, sweetheart”.  As the three walked away, I could feel the amazing love this family had for each other.

It shows when families know how to love and care for each other.  They don’t fight and argue in public.  They don’t complain or criticize each other.   Their relationship is warm and loving and they don’t seem stressed or uncomfortable.   It is important that we learn as parents how to provide a loving atmosphere so we can raise our children to feel accepted, validated and supported.  Many of us haven’t been raised in a positive environment, so we need to make some positive changes and work hard to become a better parent.   Check out some bookstores or visit your local library and pick up some books on parenting.   It is well worth the effort and the results will be a happier, closer family.  Here are some of the books I have read and would highly recommend:

 

 

 

 

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