imconfident

I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

A marriage checkup

on September 13, 2013

couple eating ice creamMost of us do regular checkups with our doctor or dentist.  We take our vehicles into the shop for a regular checkup.  We take our pets in for their annual checkup.  But how many of us do a regular marriage checkup?

I often see couples walking down the street, not talking or connecting in any way, seemingly distant from each other.  They appear to be strangers who just happen to be walking side by side.  I see couples sitting in a restaurant eating who are busy texting on their phones or reading the newspaper and not one word comes out of their mouths.  There is no communication and no indication that they even care about each other.

How does life get to this point where people are just existing and not living?  What happened to the excitement when they first met and went out on a date?  They have forgotten to do regular checkups on their relationship and have drifted apart.

Marriages require constant attention.  They need maintenance just like a car or they won’t work.  If your marriage has fallen apart, you need to start doing some repairs.

  • Determine what is missing from your marriage and what you need to make it work again.  What brought you together in the first place?
  • Communicate.   Many marriages suffer because couple stop talking to each other.  Always try to keep the lines of communication open and resolve any issues before you go to bed at night.
  • Sit down together and do a personal assessment.  What are your strengths and differences.  Determine how you can support each other.
  • Forgive each other for past hurts.  Nothing hurts a marriage more than holding on to what has been done in the past.  We all make mistakes but this doesn’t mean we should continue to hurt each other.  Forgiveness doesn’t mean you are telling the person it was okay to hurt you, it is an act of releasing you from hanging on to the anger and bitterness.
  • Agree to disagree.  People think differently.  There will be many instances where you don’t agree and this is okay.
  • Find activities that you can both enjoy.  It is okay for couples to have different interests and spend time with friends, but it is important that you have activities to enjoy together.  Try something new that neither of you have ever done.  It could be fun!
  • Spend time together.  Many couples are too busy with work and outside activities that they rarely spend time together.  This will push people further away from each other.  Try to eat together, watch a good movie, take a walk or sit and watch the sunset.  Take a vacation to a romantic location and bring back that old spark you used to have.

If you take the time to do regular checkups on your marriage, it will run a lot smoother.  You will feel better, have more energy and enjoy life.   Don’t wait any longer.  Get started today!

 

 

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2 responses to “A marriage checkup

  1. Thank you for sharing this wonderful post. My husband and I took a spontaneous 2-day vacation this past weekend to a nearby mountain village. It was refreshing for our spirits as well as our marriage. A lifelong commitment is worth all the care and attention that it deserves. Thanks again for these excellent reminders. 🙂 Gina

  2. imconfident says:

    You’re welcome. Glad you had a good time. Vacations can be very beneficial to a relationship.

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