I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

Watch your words!

on July 5, 2013

stickman with megaphoneIn my workshops and blogging, I’m always telling people to be careful about what they say.  Words can be very destructive if people don’t think about what they are saying.  Just one hurtful word or a simple phrase can destroy a person’s life.  ‘You are worthless.  I hate you.  What a loser.  You are so stupid.”  Have you ever heard yourself saying any of these words.  I know I have said them and I’ve also heard them said to me, so I know how much they can hurt.

We need to teach our children and be a good example to those around us by watching what we say and choosing our words carefully.    This starts by changing our negative thoughts into positive thoughts so we don’t carelessly let some nasty, mean or cruel words slip out of our mouths.  Everything we say to others should be positive, encouraging and loving.  Kind words make us feel good and help build good self-esteem.  Unkind words make us feel bad and can destroy our esteem.

When children grow up in an environment where they hear damaging, negative words, they will develop insecurities, fears and have unhealthy thoughts that result in anger, bitterness, criticism and an inability to see life from a positive perspective.

Today it seems that people don’t seem to care what they say or think about the consequences.  Making verbal threats is just ‘normal’ to many people and most times they are just words and nothing more.   We have all said things in our lives that we shouldn’t have said.  I remember when my kids were growing up, I would get angry with them and say, ‘I’m going to kill you”.  Of course, I would never have harmed my children, it was just empty words.  I had heard that expression many times growing up and it was common place.  However, it was still not right and I should never have said it because it probably affected their esteem.  I’m very careful now with my words because I know how powerful they can be and I don’t ever want to hurt anyone on purpose.

I read an article this morning about a boy who got into an argument with a friend on Facebook and posted a really stupid comment that had a threatening message.  He is now sitting in jail facing a sentence.  His parents are saying that his son didn’t know what he was doing and there is a petition going around for his release.

What are your thoughts?  Here is my two cents.  The boy is 19 years old and should be made responsible for his actions.  He was threatening to shoot up a school full of kids and due to the number of incidents that have happened, it can’t be taken lightly.  I don’t think 8 years in jail is appropriate unless he has done something violent in the past, however he needs to face the consequences of making threatening comments on-line.   He should be sent for some type of therapy to help him deal with his obvious anger issue and do some community work so he can learn some valuable life lessons.

Another thing that really concerns me about this article is that this problem came from a game he was playing.  I’ve never played any of these games but I’ve read a lot about them.   Many people argue that there is nothing damaging about playing these games, but what kind of message do you get from a game that has weapons and killing?  It certainly doesn’t create a calm, positive environment, instead it is more likely to creating an agitated, negative environment that can lead to anger, hatred and violence.  We certainly don’t need any more of this in the world!

We all need to watch our words and make sure that we are not saying anything that can hurt someone else or be taken as a threat.  Here is the link to the article.

Have a great weekend and PLEASE WATCH YOUR WORDS!

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