I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

What are you saying to your children?

on June 16, 2013

friesToday my sister and went to McDonald’s for a nice, healthy lunch.  Well not really healthy, but sometimes fries just hit the spot.  We were waiting in line for our order and we overheard a conversation between and little boy of about 4 and his grandmother.  She ordered a happy meal and the cashier asked her if she wanted fries or apple slices with the meal.  The grandmother looked down at her grandson and asked him the same question.   I thought, “This is great.  She is giving him the opportunity to make a decision”.   In my book, Grandma’s Notes on Parenting (, I explain how important it is to start allowing your children to make choices when they are young, so they will learn how to be responsible by making good choices and understanding consequences when they get older.

However, I guess the grandmother didn’t understand the importance of letting her grandson make his own choice.   His answer was that he wanted apple slices, but it amazed me when the grandmother said to the cashier, “Oh just give him fries, he never eats the apple slices.”

Why did she even ask her grandson?  By asking him and then making the choice for him, she was telling him that he wasn’t capable of making a decision or basically that he was too stupid to make one.  It seems like a minor thing, but it could affect his esteem.  It’s really hard to raise a child and nobody can do a perfect job, but we need to be careful with our words.  I know the damage that can be done.  Just a few words can destroy a person, but they can also repair and heal.

Please watch your words.  Make sure they are ones that show love, kindness, encouragement and support.


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