I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

Why are people so nasty?

on May 13, 2013

When I was a child,  I had my share of mean comments from other kids that bullied me.  Almost every day, I heard words that were intended to hurt me.  Being small, I was called pipsqueak, tiny, midget, shorty.   Descriptive words were often added:  dumb kid, mouseface, stupid baby.   I hated going out for recess because I didn’t have any friends and I knew that I would be targeted.  Sometimes, the bullies were busy with someone else and I was spared until the next time.  Thankfully, I when I was in class, the bullies had to be quiet and respect the teachers so I didn’t hear those unkind words.  Then when I went home from school, the bullying stopped and I had peace until the next day or the next time.

Today, things are much harder.  Bullying can continue on all day, every day, never stopping.   Cyberbullying can be done 24 hours a day, through emails, texting, and social media.  People Frustrated Woman at Computer With Stack of Paperwho are the targets of bullies can be literally “beaten-up” continuously, which eventually wears them down and can destroy them mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Bullying is a terrible thing that NOBODY should ever have to experience.  There is absolutely NO REASON to hurt someone else in the world on purpose.  NOBODY has the right to hurt another person.  Sometimes we can hurt other people unintentionally, but if we do, we should quickly apologize to that person and make amends.

Research shows that bullies are usually people who have been hurt themselves and they have low esteem.  In the environment they grew up in, they have been bullied or abused themselves and this is the only thing they know.  In order to feel better about themselves, they hurt other people.  This gives them a sense of power and temporarily boosts their esteem, which of course will be gone once they are hurt again themselves and the cycle continues.

People who are bullied often feel that they deserve to be bullied because there is something wrong with them.  This is not true and they shouldn’t allow themselves to feel hurt.  Now, if someone tries to bully me with their words, I look at the situation with a totally different perspective because I understand why it happens and my esteem is getting stronger.  I don’t allow myself to feel bad, instead I feel sorry for the bully and wonder who hurt them so badly that they feel the need to hurt other people.

I also used to think that I was the only one who was being bullied, but I know now that people of all ages and positions in life are bullied.   Even famous people who have thousands of adoring fans get nasty comments.  I just watched the following clip from celebrities that received some nasty tweets.

Again I ask the question,  “Why are people so nasty”?   This is because they haven’t received enough love and the proper attention in their lives and they haven’t been taught how to respect other people.  What a sad and terrible thing to gain satisfaction from hurting other people with words and actions.

Parents, teachers and other responsible adults who are in contact with children, need to try to help children build esteem, encourage them to be nice to each other and teach them how to deal with bullies.  It has been proven that children who have strong esteem are more likely to withstand negative peer pressure and bullying.   Children need to know that their lives have value and that they deserve to be treated with respect from everyone.  We all need this no matter what age we are.

PLEASE watch what you say to someone else.  Your words have a lot of power and they can cause a lot of damage.  We should always try to be nice to everyone we meet.

3 responses to “Why are people so nasty?

    • imconfident says:

      Thanks for your comments. You are right. I wish there was more in the school curriculum that addressed the problems in society today. Children should be taught how to love and respect other people and they should learn how to build their esteem. Unfortunately many parents don’t know how to teach this to their children and I believe it would be very beneficial to teach children these things in school and keep reinforcing them. This is a hard world to grow up in and children need all the help they can get – a mandatory course in life skills would be great. I’m big on prevention and I think there is way too much money spent on fixing problems instead of teaching people how they can avoid them. There is little help available and this is why I created my self-esteem project (slide presentations, writing books, blogging, workshops). At least I can do my small part to help.

  1. swedenole13 says:

    Oh Brenda, I’m so glad I found your blog! Have you noticed how bullying has recently become more and more talked and written about? I think that with education, constant and unrelenting publicity and getting people to talk about it and take it to the children in schools it could change.
    We have all seen how bullying takes place in every walk of life, we all do it in some way. It could be just in a disapproving look or it could be as blatant as outright violence against another person. Too many young people have given their lives to this horrible act. Usually it starts in the home, even with very small children, but it needs to be part of the school curriculum, in every school, in every grade. Through education and open and honest discussion with all concerned perhaps we can change this situation one step at a time. Good job by the way! You are so right, our words do have power!

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