imconfident

I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

Are you a people pleaser?

on April 16, 2013

What exactly is a people pleaser?  This is someone who tries very hard to make other people happy because they are afraid that if they don’t, then nobody will like them.  This happens when people have little confidence and low self-esteem.  People pleasers do not stop to think about their own needs and will agree to do almost anything so they don’t disappoint anyone or hurt their feelings.

It is natural to want other people to like us.  However, when our main goal is to please everyone around us, it can create a lot of stress and anxiety in our lives.

  • Are you always trying to please other people?
  • Are your decision based on what others think?
  • Do you value yourself?

Here is a cute story about a grandpa and his young grandson who are going into their village with a donkey to buy some supplies.  I’m not sure where I heard this one – if you know the origin, it would be great if you would share it with me.

Grandpa and his grandson were walking along the path into the village leading their donkey.  Grandpa put his grandson up on the donkey and kept walking.  grandpa and boy on donkey

Some villagers passed by and made a comment, “How inconsiderate of that young boy to ride and make his grandpa walk”.   Grandpa took the boy off the donkey and climbed up on its back.  The grandson kept walking alongside.

Some villagers passed by and made a comment, “How inconsiderate of that old man to ride and make his grandson walk.”  Grandpa pulled his grandson up behind him on the donkey and they kept riding”.

More villagers passed by and made a comment, “How inconsiderate of those two to make that poor donkey carry such a heavy load”.  Grandpa and his grandson got down off the donkey.  By the time they reached the village, they were carrying the donkey.  What?!! 

No they weren’t carrying the donkey, but I’m sure you get my point.  You can’t please everyone.  Just do what you know is right and don’t worry about what everyone thinks.   There will always be someone who doesn’t like what you do and that is okay.  You won’t always like what other people do either.  That’s reality!

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