imconfident

I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

Fix the one you have

on April 8, 2013

Couple Having Breakfast in BedWhen we get married, we think life is going to be great.  We now have a partner that we love and want to share our life with.  Unfortunately, this wonderful love story starts to lose its magic when we realize that the person we married is not who we expected them to be.   We have arguments and misunderstandings.  We get angry and upset.   We lose interest in each other and start looking for other people to spend time with.   Communication breaks down and life becomes extremely difficult.  Then all too often, the result is separation or divorce.

Most married people have considered leaving their mate at one time or another, including myself.   But many of us hang in there for the children or because we still hope things might change.  The problem is, we keep hoping that our mate will change so we can be happy and our marriage will be great.  In reality, change IS possible, but we can’t change our mate – the only person we can change is ourselves.

What most people don’t stop to consider it that NOBODY will be exactly the way they want them to be.  If you leave a marriage because you don’t like something about your mate and look for someone who is better, you might as well not bother wasting your time, because you won’t find that ‘perfect’ mate and there will be something wrong with that new person.

Unless someone is treating you very badly, it would be much better to try to FIX THE ONE YOU HAVE!   You got married because you loved something about that person and that probably hasn’t changed.  You just discovered some problems that you didn’t like.  BUT, you already know the problems you are dealing with – if you find someone else, you will soon find out you have different problems to deal with and they might be worse than what you had.

The problem with marriage and any relationship is that we want everything our own way and we give up too easily.  Marriage is difficult and we have to work hard to make it last.  It’s easy to give up but that doesn’t resolve anything.

Marriage can be wonderful and fulfilling if both partners work together and try to help meet each other’s needs.  Instead of being selfish and only being concerned about making ourselves happy, we need to show love to our partner and the rest of our family.   This is the only way to find our own happiness.

This quote sums up what I have just said in just one simple sentence……

Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.  ~Barnett R. Brickner

 

 

Advertisements

One response to “Fix the one you have

  1. Great quote ~ we can only change ourselves! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: