imconfident

I sincerely believe that it is far more beneficial and far less costly to help a child build confidence than it is to fix an adult who has little or none.

Texting can be hurtful and dangerous

happy face textingTechnology can make our lives easier in many ways, however it can also cause a lot of problems.   Texting is a quick and easy way to connect with others, however problems can arise when we are constantly checking to see if anyone has sent us a message and need to respond immediately.   When we can’t live without checking our cell phone all the time, it has become an addiction.

People are using texting to bully other people with hurtful messages and also share inappropriate photos, which has been named ‘sexting‘.

When people are obsessed with texting, they tend to ignore those around them and this results in relationship problems between families, spouses, friends, co-workers and other people who are in close contact.

Texting is now causing another serious issue.  In an article I just read, new research shows that texting while driving has become the number one cause of death amongst teenagers behind the wheel.  Drinking used to be the biggest cause, but now this has dropped to the number two cause.  3,000 teenagers die each year and another 30,000 are injured due to texting compared to 2,800 killed in drink driving and another 282,000 injured.

When are people going to learn that we don’t have to be connected to each other every minute of the day?  How many more people have to die?

We need to teach our children how to use their cell phones in a responsible manner by talking to them and being a good example that they can follow.  Are you addicted to texting?  Are you texting while driving?  Are you a good example?

Read the article about texting and driving at the following link http://techland.time.com/2013/05/14/study-more-teens-killed-texting-while-driving-than-by-drunk-driving/

No Comments »

Self-acceptance

people-ThinkingAccepting ourselves is very hard to do.  We often have an unrealistic view of ourselves because the world has set high expectations that we can never reach.  This creates stress, anxiety or depression for many people.

We keep trying to become what others expect of us and don’t even realize what an amazing person we are.  Sometimes we don’t even know all our good qualities, our skills and our strengths and we focus on our imperfections, flaws and weaknesses.

In order to accept ourselves:

  • we need to realize that everyone has a unique worth and value
  • we have to stop criticizing our imperfections
  • we have to be aware of our strengths and weaknesses
  • we need to work on building confidence and increasing esteem

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses and that is okay.  The world tells us that we have to be good at everything and be the ‘super-person’ who can multi-task and do 20 things at a time.  This just makes us feel bad about ourselves and it is not true.  We aren’t super heroes and we all have different strengths and weaknesses.  This is because we are supposed to work together.   Our strengths will help with someone else’s weakness and their strengths will help with our weaknesses.  We just need to use our strengths to our best ability and accept our weaknesses.  We can certainly work on improving our weaknesses, but this shouldn’t hold us back in life.  What are your strengths and weaknesses?  Grab a piece of paper and a pen and write down 5 of your strengths and 5 of your weaknesses.  If you have any trouble, ask others to help you.

Read these statements and circle the ones that you feel are true about yourself:

  1. I am a unique and valuable person.
  2. I accept myself as I am and am happy with who I am.
  3. I can accept criticism from others without feeling bad.
  4. I openly admit that I make mistakes.
  5. I don’t need approval from others to feel good.
  6. I don’t feel guilty when I say or do something I feel is right.
  7. If I do something wrong, I try to make amends.
  8. I am willing to step out the box and try new things.
  9. I believe that change can be good.
  10. I love myself (not in a vain or egotistical way).

How many did you circle?  If your esteem is good and you value yourself as you deserve, they should all be circled.smiling1

Now back to that question about your strengths and weaknesses.  Did you make a list?  Did you write down your strengths or weaknesses first?   Many people will find it easy to write their weaknesses and difficult to think about their strengths because we focus on the negatives.  This is what I used to do.  I could quickly write down my weaknesses and then I couldn’t think about any strengths.  I had to ask people what my strengths were and this just indicates a poor self-esteem.  Now that I have built good esteem, I can easily write down my strengths and I have to think really hard about my weaknesses.  I’ve had this happen in my workshops when there are people with varying degrees of esteem.

So if you have trouble accepting who you are,  focus on your strengths and tell yourself that you are an awesome person, because you are!!

 

 

 

No Comments »

Men experiencing childbirth?!

Men have no idea about how painful childbirth can be.   We can tell them and they can see what is going on, but this still doesn’t have much of an impact.  Now, through modern science, they can actually simulate the feeling of labour pains so men can experience how it feels.   I just watched this video and I think this would be a great learning experience for all men.  It would certainly help them understand better.

http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=0F2JEMNU

No Comments »

Creatures of habit

girl thinkingWe are all creatures of habit.  Many of the things we do each day are done without even thinking about them.  We get up in the morning, shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, go to work or school and how much do we really think about what we are doing?   Sometimes I’ve been driving home and found myself turning onto my old street where I lived a few months earlier because my mind was thinking from habit.

When habits are helping us do normal everyday things, they are helpful because they save us a lot of time and energy from thinking about each and every little thing we do.  If we had to stop and figure out how to get dressed every day, it would certainly take us a long time to get going.

However, when habits are hurting us in some way, they create difficulty and destruction in our lives.  These are the habits that we need to do something about.

Research shows that it takes about 21 to 30 consecutive days to create a new habit.   Then we still need to consciously work at reinforcing the habit, but it becomes easier to continue doing the same thing.

If you are trying to break a bad habit by replacing it with a new habit,  it will probably require a longer period of time and much more work.   You will still be able to make good progress in 21 to 30 days and if you continue working hard, it will become easier every day.

Write your daily progress in a journal and review your previous notes to see how well you are doing.  Write reminders and stick them somewhere that you will visibly see them on a regular basis (fridge, mirror, door, bulletin board).  This will encourage you to keep going.  Work hard to create some good, positive habits and soon you will see positive changes in your life.

No Comments »

Image

I am very honoured to be nominated for a “Shine On” Award by http://ronninoyce.wordpress.com/.  Check her blog for inspiring and interesting posts.  She shares a lot of the same ideas that I have.

The Shine On Award is for the blogs that shine, make you feel good and are inspiring to the reader.  The rules are simple.

1.  Link back to the blogger who nominated you.

2.  Share some facts about yourself or answer questions given to you.

3.  Nominate fifteen bloggers who shine a little light in your day and be sure to notify them.

My time is really limited right now, so I’d just like to nominate all the blogs I follow for this award.    I follow you because you inspire me and I enjoy reading your posts.  If I am following your blog and you would like to accept this award, please follow the simple rules and pay this award forward to the blogs that you follow.

Thanks and have a great day everyone!  You all shine!

 

No Comments »

Canada looking at criminalizing cyber-bullying

This morning I wrote a post about bullying and I just read this news article.  Yeah Canada!  Glad that something is being done about cyber-bullying.    When anyone hurts another person intentionally, it is a criminal act and should be punished.

Canada is looking to criminalize cyber-bullying, Prime Minister Stephen Harper announced Friday, after a pair of teenage suicides provoked by unrelenting online harassment.

http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5i4uFEFM3OKS3oUouI6q4lbyqhCrg?docId=CNG.762d19c791e614cdfd31b01ec3fd1c82.371

No Comments »

Why are people so nasty?

When I was a child,  I had my share of mean comments from other kids that bullied me.  Almost every day, I heard words that were intended to hurt me.  Being small, I was called pipsqueak, tiny, midget, shorty.   Descriptive words were often added:  dumb kid, mouseface, stupid baby.   I hated going out for recess because I didn’t have any friends and I knew that I would be targeted.  Sometimes, the bullies were busy with someone else and I was spared until the next time.  Thankfully, I when I was in class, the bullies had to be quiet and respect the teachers so I didn’t hear those unkind words.  Then when I went home from school, the bullying stopped and I had peace until the next day or the next time.

Today, things are much harder.  Bullying can continue on all day, every day, never stopping.   Cyberbullying can be done 24 hours a day, through emails, texting, and social media.  People Frustrated Woman at Computer With Stack of Paperwho are the targets of bullies can be literally “beaten-up” continuously, which eventually wears them down and can destroy them mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Bullying is a terrible thing that NOBODY should ever have to experience.  There is absolutely NO REASON to hurt someone else in the world on purpose.  NOBODY has the right to hurt another person.  Sometimes we can hurt other people unintentionally, but if we do, we should quickly apologize to that person and make amends.

Research shows that bullies are usually people who have been hurt themselves and they have low esteem.  In the environment they grew up in, they have been bullied or abused themselves and this is the only thing they know.  In order to feel better about themselves, they hurt other people.  This gives them a sense of power and temporarily boosts their esteem, which of course will be gone once they are hurt again themselves and the cycle continues.

People who are bullied often feel that they deserve to be bullied because there is something wrong with them.  This is not true and they shouldn’t allow themselves to feel hurt.  Now, if someone tries to bully me with their words, I look at the situation with a totally different perspective because I understand why it happens and my esteem is getting stronger.  I don’t allow myself to feel bad, instead I feel sorry for the bully and wonder who hurt them so badly that they feel the need to hurt other people.

I also used to think that I was the only one who was being bullied, but I know now that people of all ages and positions in life are bullied.   Even famous people who have thousands of adoring fans get nasty comments.  I just watched the following clip from celebrities that received some nasty tweets.  http://youtu.be/nrjp6e04dZ8

Again I ask the question,  “Why are people so nasty”?   This is because they haven’t received enough love and the proper attention in their lives and they haven’t been taught how to respect other people.  What a sad and terrible thing to gain satisfaction from hurting other people with words and actions.

Parents, teachers and other responsible adults who are in contact with children, need to try to help children build esteem, encourage them to be nice to each other and teach them how to deal with bullies.  It has been proven that children who have strong esteem are more likely to withstand negative peer pressure and bullying.   Children need to know that their lives have value and that they deserve to be treated with respect from everyone.  We all need this no matter what age we are.

PLEASE watch what you say to someone else.  Your words have a lot of power and they can cause a lot of damage.  We should always try to be nice to everyone we meet.

 

3 Comments »

Mother’s day

Smiling Family Posing on BenchMother’s Day has been celebrated for centuries.  In the 1600′s, British Christians set aside the 4th Sunday of Lent to honor Mary, the mother of Jesus.  Poor servants were given the day off work to return home and spend the day with their mothers, bringing with them a special cake for a celebration.

Mother’s Day was inspired by the British celebration through a social activist called Julia Ward Howe after the American Civil War.  Her appeal to observe a Mother’s Peace Day led to the establishment of an annual event for a period of 10 years in the late 1800′s.

The first Mother’s Day was observed on May 10, 1908 by a church service honouring Ann Marie Reeves Jarvis, a women who was working to improve the sanitary conditions for working women.  Her daughter, Anna Jarvis had dedicated her life to establish a Mother’s Day to honour mothers both living and dead.  She felt that children did not appreciate the hard work that their mothers did and believed it was an important cause.

In December 1912, the Mother’s Day International Association was formed and on May 9, 1914, the US President declared the 2nd Sunday of May would be set aside to honour mothers.  Soon this custom spread to other countries such as Canada, China and Africa.   Many countries celebrate Mother’s Day in May, however some celebrate this occasion at other times of the year.

Mother’s Day is now one of the most popular days of the year, celebrated with cards, gifts, flowers and dining out.

My mother is not with me this Mother’s Day.  She passed away 2 years ago the week before Mother’s Day, the victim of a horrible wind storm.   At 93 years of age, she was knocked down by the wind while out shopping and never recovered from the injuries she suffered when she fell.  I hope that she is watching me from above and I remember her in my prayers.

Take time to show your mother, grandmother and every women in your life how much you love and appreciate them.  In this busy world, we don’t always stop to think about how important people are.  We are too busy working, playing, enjoying our possessions and we miss valuable time that could have been spent building relationships with those around us.   I like the Dutch proverb,  “We grow too soon old and too late smart”.   This is so true.  Life is short and in some ways we are not very smart.  We get old and regret the things we did and didn’t do.  One of the biggest regrets that people have is not spending enough time with people they love.   Don’t let this be one of your regrets!

Here is a an amazing duet by Celine Dion and Josh Groban.  It lifted me up this beautiful, cloudy morning.  Enjoy!

http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=0FMMJJNU

3 Comments »

Our love language

Couple HuggingDid you know that we all have different love languages?  We all speak a different language when it comes to love which results in communication problems in marriages and relationships.   Learning about these love languages and matching them to our loved ones could help make positive changes in behaviour and attitude.  Most of us have more than one love language, but usually there will be one in particular that we need more than any other.

The first love language is Words of Affirmation.  This means that we use words that build up the other person, give them compliments and show appreciation.   Some examples are, “You look great.  That is such a beautiful dress.”  “Thank-you for making that terrific supper.”  “I appreciate your help with the sale.”   Words are very important and they can make or break a relationship.  Affirming words don’t cost anything but they can have huge rewards.

The second love language is Quality Time.  Spending time with a loved one means giving them your undivided attention and showing them that you really care about them.   You could take a nice walk, go out for dinner or just sit and talk.  Time is a precious commodity and it has a lot of value in this busy world.

The third love language is Receiving Gifts.  Most of us like to receive a gift but to some people, this is the only way that they feel loved.   When you give someone a gift, it shows that you were thinking of them.   It doesn’t have to cost a lot, it is the thought that is important.

The fourth love language is Acts of Service.  This means that we do nice things for our loved one.   This could be helping clean the house, cook a meal, wash the car, take the dog for a walk, do the laundry or anything else that is considerate and caring.  By doing something for a loved one, you are showing that you care about them.

The fifth love language is Physical Touch.  People of all ages require physical touch.  This communicates that we love each other in a special way through holding hands, kissing, hugging and other meaningful touches.

Determine what the primary love language is for your loved one(s) and yourself.  Then try to communicate with them by using their love language.  This will help make positive changes to your relationships.

To read more about your love languages, read “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, author and international speaker (www.5lovelanguages.com).

3 Comments »

Being a confident person

smiling3What is a confident person?

Confident people:

  • love themselves (not in a vain way), love others and know that others love themFaces of Europe Germany Series
  • feel that their life has value and that they have a purpose in life
  • are not afraid to step out of their comfort zone and risk trying something new and different
  • look at life from a positive perspective
  • are not afraid of being wrong
  • are able to keep going even when they have failed because they realize that failure is a stepping stone to success
  • do not compare themselves to others because they know and accept their strengths and weaknesses
  • set goals in life and work hard towards reaching their goals
  • control their lives instead of allowing their lives to control them

Studies show that people who are confident in themselves and have a positive outlook on life actually age slower and can live longer.  When you are confident, you will have a happier and healthier life.

If you lack confidence in yourself, it isn’t too late to start building some, no matter what age you are.    Here are some steps you can take:

  1. Do an honest evaluation of your life and consider what changes need to be made.  If you have some serious issues to face, please consider getting professional help.
  2. Make a list of your positive qualities and read the list every day until you can recite them by heart.
  3. Write some positive affirmations and repeat these several times a day until you believe them.
  4. Read inspirational books, tapes, CD’s and DVD’s.
  5. Surround yourself with positive people, places and things.  Try to reduce or eliminate the negatives in your life.
  6. Don’t compare yourself to others.  Focus on your own strengths and abilities.  Praise yourself often.
  7. Change any negative self-talk to positive self-talk.  Be consciously aware of your words and try to stop your negative thoughts.
  8. Set realistic goals and work hard to achieve them.
  9. Volunteer for a local organization.  Helping others benefits the receiver, the giver and often other people who are around.
  10. Take action and start working on making positive changes.

Building confidence takes time and effort but it leads the way to happiness and success in life.

 

 

 

 

No Comments »

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 163 other followers